working

it's been a horrible month.. work, work, and more work..

working till wee hours rushing for events and events..

auditors driving me crazy with all the accounts questioning..

all the necessary entertaining to "clients"..

all the smiling and nodding.. =.=


my boss asked me this one night after our meeting.. (it was already midnight.. ):

"do you regret working here?"

and to my own surprise, i asked myself and the answer was no (and still no)..


yes, this job is tedious.. and people who cared about me have been complaining they don't get to see me often..

even my own colleagues from other departments don't get to see me!

i am often working from early mornings till late nights.. when i reach home, the lights are off and everyone is asleep..

my weekends are often burnt.. with events and meetings and all the ad-hoc activities needed..

i am always tired and i am starting to have white hair (yes and not just one or two strands, sadly..)

my dark rings are darker than before and well, my complexion kinda suffered..

i don't go out much often and my social life is down to almost zero..

but.. i still don't regret changing my job to this current company..


i like to OT in the office with the others.. and joke around.. chatting while working..

i like to stay in the office with piles of papers on my desk and tons of emails to clear..

i like to go for quick break and then come back to the office to rush work..

i like to work under pressure..


this place appreciates people who can work.. who are hardworking..

this place has great colleagues and bosses..

of cos, there are black sheeps everywhere and this place is no different..

but there are tons of pure white sheeps who can control the black ones..


i learnt to be tougher..

i learnt to let go..

i learnt to be patient..

i learnt to appreciate..

i learnt to trust..

i learnt to be appreciated (and i love that feeling)..

i learnt to be true to myself..

i learnt to be flexible..

and most importantly, i learnt that it is okay to be different, to be unqiue, to be imperfect..

and so, i learnt to love myself more.. =)



i also learnt that love is in all forms.. and that sometimes, love means letting go..

weird to learn that at work huh?

but i learnt it.. through colleagues.. and i saw how powerful love can be..

how it make and break a person..

and all kinds of love.. can be seen at work..

between friends, family, lovers, parents and their children..

all of these, seen and experienced at work..


so why should i regret working here?

yes, it took away my time.. and maybe much more..

but what i learnt here is enough to compensate for what i have lost..


i can't say i love my job and i definitely grumble at times..

but regret? Nah.

i stilll have a long way to go here.. and i look forward to it. =)


how much have you learnt at your workplace?

I am going to have a movie marathon this weekend..

There’s sooo many movies I wanna watch!











I think I will watch like 2 movies a day? Will take me 3 days to finish all these movies!

Maybe I should start with one tonight after work. Hmmm..

However, I am the kind of person who doesn’t watch cartoons and comedies on weekends, and [Chen Zhen] will most probably be full house everywhere again..

So i guess my choice will be either Wall Street or Charlie St Cloud..

Okay! These will be my first 2 movies this week then!

Charlie, here i come! :D

update: in the end, i never got to watch any movie.. =.= and oh! i think i wanna watch buried and devil! looked exciting! :D

love + marriage

mum asked me the other day, when do i intend to get married..

i replied, '3 years' time' and she exclaimed, 'you intend to get married at 30?'

i said yes. very calmly.

well, she wasn't very pleased with my answer, she wanted me to get married by 29 latest.



i had dreamt of getting married to my first love at the age of 25 and have babies at 27.

it didn't happen of cos.

as i reached 25, i didn't want to get married so soon anymore, i wanted to work and gain experiences in life.

i thought, well, i will get married at 27 and have babies at 29 then.. not too late... righhhtttt?

i am 27 now and i am in no hurry to settle down.

why so?

i can't give a definite answer but i think marriage at young age isn't a wise choice cos people change, environment changes, you change, so do i.

what you like at 20 (probably) isn't gonna be what you like at 25 and what you want at 25 may not be what you want at 30.

most people settle down at 30, and when i say settle down, it doesnt mean marriage. it means ýour thinking, your life, the path you intend to choose.

anyone younger than 25 years old, reading this will probably disagree but let's read again in 5 years' time and see if it stays true.

i didn't believe that when i was younger, and i isn't the kind who changes her preferences easily. but i did, i changed, and so did most of my friends.

which also explains why most relationships at young age didn't last (i said MOST, not ALL).

well, there's nothing wrong or right, it's just change. a different taste and preference as you are exposed more to the external factors.

when i settle down, i want it to be eternity.

the person i choose to marry will be the one i will love more everyday, more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

i can't promise i will love him as much as he love me, but love is never about comparison, is it?

maybe the one i settle down will be the one i love more, maybe he will be the one who loves me more..

but as long as the love is balanced, it's okay.

one should learn to be contented..

so if you have found the person you wish to settle down with (seriously).. hold onto it and don't let go.. always appreciates, cherishes, surprises, trust and be honest to him/her..

true love is like crystal.. transparent..

a quote to share with all of you reading now:

"To find someone who will love you for 『no reason』, and to shower that person with 『reasons』, that is the ultimate 『happiness』."

found out something that didn't make me happy..

in fact, it upsetted me so much i was trembling..

i chose not to do anything..

no confrontation, no arguing, no tears, nothing..

guess i have learnt to cool myself down so that i won't make matters worse..

i hope i can keep my cool long enough to talk reasonably and nicely..

i certainly hope i can do that.

*fingers crossed*

我喜歡， 不我愛

作詞：嚴爵
作曲：嚴爵

我喜歡妳的眼 看著我的眼
我喜歡妳的臉 貼著我的臉

我喜歡妳的手 牽著我的手
我喜歡妳的口 吻著我的口
時間在改變 妳不要改變

因為我很愛妳 不想要妳放棄愛情
尤其這段得來不易
我愛妳 真的是很愛妳 所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去

時間在改變 妳不要改變

因為我很愛妳 不想要妳放棄愛情
轉載來自 ※Mojim.com　魔鏡歌詞網
尤其這段得來不易
我愛妳 真的是很愛妳 所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去

因為我很愛妳 不想要妳放棄愛情
尤其這段得來不易
我愛妳 真的是很愛妳 所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去

因為我很愛妳 不想要妳放棄愛情
尤其這段得來不易
我愛妳 真的是很愛妳 所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去

Need You Now
Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now

Taking a trip down memory lane
Things have changed One thing remains
That they will always have each other
And even though those days have gone
They know here is where they belong
Theres some kinda magic in the air

Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And theyre learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Holding her close he leading the way
Out at the park Enjoying the Day
And you can tell theyll be ok
Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And theyre learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And theyre learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
You and me
You and me

a friend posted this on fb:

"isn't it funny how fragile relationships are? So easily formed just as easily broken."

and then, when i was watching channel 8 drama, 'Family Court', one of the female leads said this,

"一个人的真心可以维持多久？如果可以永久不变的话，那该有多好。。"

got my ever-complicated mind thinking, change is the only constant.

when i post the above chinese quote of sort to my fb, a conversation started:

friend: if it's real, then it will not change =)

me: if that's the case, why would there by breakups?

friend: not real enough not to change? just as there is love at 1st sight, there's breakups

me: so means if there's breakups, it isn't real enough?

friend: i will say it's complicated

friend: anyway it's true that love is complicated. one may not necessary marry the person one loves alot.

me: love is simple, relationships are not.. like a quote i have seen, it wrote, "Love is unconditional, relationships are not." so usually its the relationship that make love complicated, not love itself..

i really do think so.. love is simple.. you love me + i love you = us in love

but relationship? not so clearcut.

other than love, it needs trust, transparency, compromise, support, communication, honesty.

short of any one, the relationship wont last (not a lifetime anyway), wont be healthy.


i always believe that love can change a person.. i've seen it, i've experienced it.. but now, though i believe love can change a person, the love must be deep enough.. where the love for the other party is deeper than the love for oneself.. only then, will change occur..


i have friends regretting after their partners really left them (okay, usually guys who regret and girls who left).. as in, they aren't turning back.. and they realise, they lost someone precious..

try ways and means to have them back.. but most of the time, failed.. why?

cos those who decided to leave had been hurt badly and are too afraid to try again.. cos they can't bear the pain again..


i had seen my friends so upset.. singing songs that reflect their stupidity in hurting the girl so much, for causing so much insecurity that the girl finally decided to leave..

and frankly speaking, i had mixed emotions.. i felt sad for them cos they really do love their partners.. and really wanna spend the rest of their lives with the one..

however, i wanna curse them for crying over spilled milk.. why din they realise the end when there's still chance to salvage? why did they have to wait till its too late before they realise what they had done?

if i am the girl's friend, i would do the same - ask her to leave him.

if i am the boy's friend, i would ask the girl to give him another chance.. to try one last time..

see? different viewpoints from different roles..



in the chinese drama i'd seen, the female lead said something like, everyone has lots of principles to follow, strict methods and lots of big theories but when the thing happened to them, it's a total different story..

so true.

how many times do we have great advices for our friends and how many times do we really listen to our own advices?

do you?

i don't.



maybe i have seen so many so-called strong relationships ending, and people going back together for all the wrong reasons, thus, i am kinda skeptical..

of cos, i have seen happy couples, happily married for years and still so in love with each other.. still feel so completely into each other.. the fire, the sparks, never fade.. but those are rare cases..

i am still naive when it comes to relationships, cos i still believe in fairytale love.. i really do.

i still believe my prince charming will come and we will live happily forever (if there's eternity)..

we will still hold each other's hands when we are 80, still complement each other, still find each other attractive, so fall in love with each other again and again everyday.. the soul mates, the best friends.. still enjoy each other's company.. still say 'i love you' when wake up and kiss goodnight at the end of the day..

this is my ideal love story..



but like my friend said, people don't always marry the one they love most..

anyway, i won't know if my love story is a fairytale one till well, i die cos before that, anything can happen.. *shrugs*

how about you?

do you believe in fairytale love?