往往, 你認為最了解你的人就是在你最需要了解的時候第一位誤會你的人~

人生就只這樣.. 當你越在乎一個人, 越信任一個人, 你就會對他有更高的期望..

而往往, 你會因此更失望..

反而, 當你對一個人沒期望時, 你不會有任何失望..

人應該有期望呢, 還是避免失望?

我也不知道.. 你呢?

disappointments can push a person into giving up..

appreciations can push a person into a much better man..

anger can push a person into doing something drastic like killing etc..

heartbreaks can push a person into commiting suicide or kill another person..

love can push a person into doing sth that he/she wasnt confident of before..


that's how powerful feelings can be..

emotions.. these are unexplanable things in life that can control a person's mind and actions..


how many times have we seen on papers or witness situations that are pushed by emotions?

stupid things.. touching moments..


some people says emotions are nothing compared to minds..

but how true is that?

one should be rational...

but if a person is rational all the time, wouldnt he be a walking corpse?

of cos, a person cant be irrational all the time, he/she would be crazed!


what i am saying is a person needs emotions to be really living..

some people are so indifferent to everything, they are like walking corpses..

deep inside, more often than not, they are afraid to reveal that "weak" side of theirs..

thinking that showing emotions make them vulnerable..


and therefore, they built a wall around them.. to prevent them from being vulnerable..

and those who try to go in will be blocked by the wall, which is filled with thorns..

after awhile, no one will try to go near it..

and it become a fortress with only one man livining in it..


they feel lonely.. but their belief prevented them from opening a small window out of that tall wall..


if they are lucky, one day, a person will come along with weapons strong enough to destroy that wall and make it a beautiful castle with wonderful memories..


if not, they will grow to be grumpy old men and women..

which we see at times, at work..


we see 2 types of people:

the cynical person who is indifferent to everything n hates anything that involves feeling..

and the emotional nutcase who is always so dramatic over little things and crying over almost anything..


which one do you rather have in your life? be it work or personal?

the walking corpse or the drama king/queen?


i personally prefer the former.. at least i can just ignore him and argue with him when he gets irritating..

but the latter? he/she may jus threaten to die and spread vicious rumors about you ignoring him/her, break his heart etc..

at least the former would be too indifferent to bother doing that childish stuff!




how about you?

what kind of persons do you have in your life?

is it time for you to do sth about those irritants? =)

some people may think that i am always emo.. due to the way i design my blog.. the songs i put.. the words i write..

well.. i am not..

i like to design blogs in a more.. hmmm.. alright.. emo way not because i am very emo.. but because such designs show your feelings..

its actually harder to design happy layouts (for me) and it hinders my writing..

my blog is mostly about thoughts.. deep thoughts..

i don usually blog about my daily life.. what i have bought today.. what i have eaten.. blah blah blah..

so.. such so-called emo layouts allow me to open my heart and blog what my thoughts are churning out..



just like i only blog when its late at night and i am alone..

cos thats when you are most relaxed.. your mind aren't disturbed by the television, traffic, work..

this is the time where you can sit down, and start thinking about.. everything in life.. =)



a friend msg me in fb the other day saying that she loved my blog.. love the way i write my blog.. my thoughts.. the words i use..

i am truely flattered..

surprised that there's still people who read my entries considering i don't update as much as before due to my heavy schedule..

in any case.. she made me write again.. i put in effort to blog again..

and not to let my thoughts wander and get lost on the way..

so thank you my friend, for that fb msg.. =)



i went up to esplanade roof top the other day.. and that was years since the last time i went up..

the feeling was different jus as the landscape was different..

it was.. empty then.. no bar/restaurant.. no artifical garden.. it was jus.. a plain roof top..

but it attracted lots of couples.. like it does now..

i look at the stage downstairs and memories came..

i was once in front of that stage.. with a boy.. a boy who took my heart away for the first time.. a boy i tot was the one.. a boy who i tot i can love forever..

a boy.. who broke my heart again n again till i couldnt believe in love anymore..

we held hands in front of the stage..

we held hands on the roof top..

we took photos..

i was smiling so sweetly that my eyes were visible..

that's simple happiness.. naive, innocent girl who believed she found her prince charming..


years later.. the girl stood at the same place.. without that smile.. that simple happiness..

now replaced is a bitter smile.. smiling at the memories she had as a young adult..

smiling at all the naive thoughts, all the ignorance, all the .. simplicity..



that's the down side of growing up.. you lose that simplicity.. whether you like it or not..

there's an amour in you.. that you use to protect yourself.. to guard from exposing too much of your inner self..

guard against heartbreak..


some say take the risk! life's too short for guarding!

some say, have a safe journey.. life's already tough as it is..


which one do you agree upon?





i am the latter trying to be the former.. you?

i like watching movies.. in the cinema.. it doesnt really matter if i can fully understand what was the movie going on.. or if i can hear all the words that are being said.. jus by being in there helps me escape.. the reality..

not to say that reality sucks (though it usually does).. just that it helps me to forget about the stress at work, the responsibilities, the anger, sadness, happiness of my own.. and most imptly, who i am..

for that 2 hours, i would be into another person's life.. another character.. experiencing a different life than my own..

which is good..

i am an escapist, some may say.. and i won't deny..

why do one has to always be forced to face the reality every second of the life?

there's 365 days in a year.. why do we have to be in the real life more than half the time?

as you grow older, there's less things that can satisfy you.. its a fact..

the more you know, the more you want..

jus like buying branded goods.. some say, once you start, you wont stop..

from one bag, to another, and another and on and on..

its like an addiction.. cos the more you know, the more you want..

that's life, that's human, that's us..

shrugs..



but at the same time, the more you know, the more you don't want..

ironic?

not so..

it depends on what are the knowledge you gain..

and thus, the decision you make to want or not..



the things you know affects alot on your decision later on.. you have to admit that..

which is why sometimes, people rather not know..

ignorance is bliss..

this quote doesn't come without a reason..


how many times in life did you regret knowing something?

how many times were you glad that you did?


in the end, do you prefer a life not knowing things or do you wish that you had known more?

for me, i prefer the latter..

how about you?