As my friend and I were chatting over msn (since both of us gotta work till 10pm on New year's Eve) .. He saw my display pic (below) and said:

Vidzy @ work says (8:53 PM):
*wah
ur dimples so deep
*haha no wonder wun get drunk whaha
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:54 PM):
*?
*what
does it gotta do with my dimples?
Vidzy @
work says (8:55 PM):
*u dunno wat dimples is called in chinese?
*酒窝
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:56
PM):
*yea
*i noe
*but what does my not getting drunk gotta
do with my dinples?
Vidzy @ work says
(8:57 PM):
*haha u have deep dimples ma!
*the belief is that
deeper the dimples, the more one can drink haha
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:57 PM):
*serious?
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:58 PM):
*i have never heard of
such belief
Vidzy @ work says (8:59
PM):
*haha now u do
*but how accurate i dunno

hmmm..i really never heard of such beliefs.. have you? lol

today i had an interesting qns being asked by a colleague..

"how do you know that's love? the feeling?"

its like what i had asked my friend, "how do you know he's the one?"

and as the answer always is..

"i don't know. it just feel right.."

and it's true..

there's no explanation.. no way to describe.. no way to test or confirm if that's real love.. if that's the right person for you..

you just know it..

when you are alone.. he/she is the one that comes to your mind.. all the time..

you close your eyes and imagine 5 years later.. 10 years later.. 50 years later.. and there he/she is.. right beside you.. and you smile (or got a shock for some)..

some may argue that it might just be an illusion.. but.. ain't all love illusions? that may last for life?

aren't all of us looking for that particular illusion that may.. become the reality for us?



there's always a risk of the bubble bursting..

you may end up with nothing.. you may end up with everything.. who knows?

life is unpredictable..

sometimes, some things seems so bleak.. may end up completely different from what you had expected..



some says, they never fall deep in love.. they never want to get married..

yet.. more often than not.. they fall when they least expected it and the thought of living without that person scares them more than they getting married..

ta da.. they knew that's love.. that's the one..



who can teach you? some things can't be taught.. some things can't be explained..

like supernaturals in life, love is unexplainable by science and theories..

that's why its so special.. only a handful in the world will experience it..



those who experience it swear it exists and those who didn't will never believe in it..

(till they met the one who can change their minds.. )



love can make or break a person..



are you broken or remade?

Living is a chore .. I'm tired of it ..

眼淚成詩
孫燕姿


我已經已經把我傷口化作玫瑰
我的淚水已經變成雨水早已輪迴
我已經已經把對白留成了永遠
忘了天色究竟是黑是灰

分手傷了誰誰把它變美
我的眼淚寫成了詩已無所謂
讓你再回味字不醉人人自醉
因為回憶總是美

我已經已經把絕情變成了恭維
因為不配你就忽然自卑說聲失陪
我已經已經把沉默變成了懺悔
無路可退只能無言以對

so near yet so far ..

i was told not to publicise my personal stuff.. and i was thinking.. if on my own blog i cant be real.. if in my own fb profile, i cant be true.. if i have to pretend in front of those i love most.. where can i be frank?

no one reads my blog anyway.. so is my fb.. those who really cares will know it thru my own mouth.. not thru such engines..

alot of people speculate over my one fb msg.. a msg which was written in an emotional state.. a heartbroken state.. and pple started spreading rumours..

its my fault and if there're things i regret, this is one of the most regrettable stuff i had ever done..

these are the places where i could be frank cos he never reads it.. he never read my profile nor my blog.. and i tot i could be frank without pissing him off..

but i forgot.. walls have ears.. words spread and ta da! its done.. i have ruined it again..

and now i have to bear the consequences.. of pretending.. to be happy.. to be contented..

sitting right beside him n knowing he's not mine.. standing beside him and can't hold his hands..

feeling sick and pretended that am healthy.. smiling n happy..

only one thing never change: i still hide in the toilet n cry and he still doesnt know..

nothing to be happy about over here..



first time.. really.. to feel like this.. to really understand some ppl love till they wanna die..

why some ppl committed suicide over love..

cos living without the one they love is worse than dying without them..



not worth it.. some would say but who's to judge?

no one.

no one has the right to judge cos you cant fault love..

love is without reason, without justification.. without conditions.. and definitely without logic..




i m standing in a position of loving n being loved..

love or be loved?

my mind says latter but my heart chooses former..

to be happy or miserable?

again, mind chooses the easy way out and heart chooses the hard one..

stupid.. utterly stupid..

but love makes you stupid.. thats the way it should..

and right now, i am being one..




on an emotional roller coaster.. up the few hours, and crashing for the rest of it..

depressed, suicidal, hysterical, schizophrenic..

will this ever end?

like a fairytale? a romance movie?

and they live happily ever after?

if i pray hard enough, will it happen?





if i beg you, will you come back?

a friend said this over msn..

xx says (12:29 AM):
*relationship involve both party
*is like playing a game
*both party can set the rules
*each has their rights to ask for things
*and it is for both to nego on the terms
*if they cannt set the terms right
*den no point comtinuing

very interesting and it set me thinking..

isn't it true?

there's always terms n conditions..

and we usually didn't read that part..

and end up breaking all of them..




can we set the terms right?

some say, as long as there's no physical contact (sex, kiss, hugs etc), that's not cheating..

i say, when there's intention to do so, it's cheating..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, lies were to protect the other party from hurt..

i say, lies were to protect the sender from facing the music.. from dying with guilt and clearing the mess he/she created..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, there's love.. shouldn't give up..

i say, there's love but there's no trust = nth

some say, you've come a long way..

i say, it means nth if this long way didn't stop the other party from wanting to cheat (if he hasn't alr done so)..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, once lied, may not lie forever..

i say, if the lie means nth to the sender, then yes, he/she will lie forever.. more n more, smarter n smarter.. a vicious cycle..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, two people together, there's definitely differences in thinking..

i say, difference is ok, but not when values are different and respect is not shown for the other party's values..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, after while, there's definitely no passion in a rs.. cant possibly be honeymoon all the time..

i say, that's bullshit cos i have experienced passion for long time in a rs before.. its all up to the party whether he/she wants to make the effort to keep the flame from dying..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, outsiders see clearer..

i say, insiders know better..




i used to wonder why was it that my ex bf loved me but wanted to break up with me?

and now, i understand..


love is important but trust is more important..

when trust is gone, nothing else matters..




when you chose to sms the girl , your heart was no longer with me .. and when you chose to lie to me , the relationship died ..

丁当 - 你为什么说谎
作词：刘沁 黄婷 作曲：刘沁


这次我走开 再没有话要说出来
我不想再期待走下去 还能多精彩

我不了解你怎能心安
也抓不住你的倔强
可是我知道你 你为什么说谎

你说你还在 一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里 可是这一切已太晚

我不能再像从前一样
为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释 你为什么说谎

你不能说我没有爱过 说我没等过难过
我也想说 也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪 怎么就流下来

你说你还在 一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里 可是这一切已太晚
我不能再像从前一样
为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释 你为什么说谎

你不能说我没有爱过 说我没等过难过
我也想说 也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪 怎么就流下来

你不能说我没有爱过 说我没等过难过
我也想说 也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪 怎么就流下来

你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪 怎么就流下来