Filial Piety

How much are you willing to go to show your filial piety? Ultimate compliance to their requests, be it good or bad?  Submit 90% of your salary to them every month? Always on their side even if they are in the wrong? How much is too much?

Does not listening mean unfilial? Does not meeting their standards mean unfilial? Does not doing any of the above mean unfilial? 

You are not a puppet. Giving birth to you does not mean they have control over your life. I have friends who are considered unfilial because they refuse/unable to oblige to their parents’ requests; simple requests like doing household chores, to unreasonable ones like marrying people they do not love.

I find it hard to comprehend. How can any parent define filial piety as ultimate compliance to their requests? They THINK they are doing the RIGHT thing, they THINK their decisions are the BEST for you, they THINK they know you BETTER than yourself and so, you have to follow. Mind you, these are what THEY think, not how YOU really FEEL.

Your life is yours to write and the path is yours to walk. You are the one who will bear the consequences from the decisions made in your life, not your parents. I am not saying that you should never listen to your parents, but I think there should be discretion. You have to decide for yourself what you really want in life, especially decisions that will cause major changes in your future.

Of cos, you still listen to them. Seek their advice and understand them. No parent will harm his/her child. Communication is very important. Yes, they may be stubborn (which parent aren’t?) and have their own values and principles, but they always love their children. Listen but make your own decisions.

If any parent is reading this, I hope you are not offended. I am not a parent myself, but I do understand the need to protect the loved ones, and always wanting to make the best decisions for them. It is out of good will and I am sure all parents want the best for their children. However, they are not you, they may carry your genes, but they do not have your thoughts nor heart. They have their own thoughts, their own likes and dislikes, their ambitions and goals. Listen to them, advice them but do not force them to do what you wish they will, especially when it comes to matters of heart. Forcing will only make matters worse. Give them your support and assure them that the door to home will always be open for them. You can’t protect them forever, one day, they will need to fall and learn on their own. Of cos, they may not learn immediately, but maybe one day, they will. There is only so much that you can do for your loved ones, cos you cannot be there for them 24/7. They will need to decide what they want on their own, and learn to shoulder responsibility for their actions and they can only learn that through their falls.

In a nutshell, both parents and children should learn the art of listening. Parents have been children once and children will be parents someday. So, it should not be too hard to understand each other right? Always remember, your life is yours to write and so is the everyone else. Don't attempt to write the script for someone else, let them do it on their own and let the ending unveils itself.

Filial piety is not ultimate compliance, it is understanding, faith and unconditional love.