Marriage for love?

Been hearing quite a number of couples getting married after being together for 6 months (and knowing each other less than a year).. All these news were sudden too, like 3 months before the wedding? And nope, not shotgun, which will be more understandable. It makes me wonder, did they decided to get hitched coa they are madly in love or is it the in thing now, for people our age?

They don't know each other well, the relationships aren't stable (arguing every 3 days and breakup every week or so), there's no baby on the way. Thus, why the SUDDEN hurry?

I asked around and got collated the following reasons:

1. Managed to get a HDB unit which requires them to get married within the next three to six months (the hurry for flat? Too good to let go)
2. Age is catching up for the female/male, the NEED to get married is getting overwhelming
3. Friends around are getting married and the females felt left out when the other couples who were probably together for much shorter period are getting married

The above are the main reasons and none of it is about love. It makes me sad thinking that people only get married for all reasons except the love for each other. What do the vows mean then? If the marriage isn't due to deep love for each other and the want for being with each other for the rest of their lives? Shouldn't this be the main reason?

It doesn't matter if you need to apply for flat before proposal, nor the planning before everything is confirmed as long as the reason behind all these is the love for each other.

I don't mean that love should be measured by time but the sudden surge of getting married within 6 months or a year of knowing each other (yes, knowing each other from strangers to friends to lovers) is too far stretched. How can you love someone when the rs is full of problems? 因不瞭解而在一起，因瞭解而分開嗎？

I wouldn't want to do so. Marriage is for life, it should be taken seriously. Don't get married due to impulse, it's unfair to the other party and yourself. Don't hurt another person for your mistake.

For those who find this similar, think it over carefully. Are you willing to see the person for the next 50years? Can you stand the bad habits he/she has for the next 50years? If you can't, then don't go to the next step.

Be responsible my friends. Think.

Cruel to be kind

Sometimes one needs to be cruel to be kind. One day, just one day, you may understand the meaning behind.

Night out at LD

A promise, and so, I was back at my regular hangout. Of cos, I was there very late; after my work. Put on make up, contact lens & off I went at 11pm.

Reached there and being the usual anti-social as some may claim, I was sitting at the counter instead of joining them at the table (alright, it was because I wanna have my chance to sing).

Saw a few people whom I had never seen in years (3? 4?) and chatted a bit. Nothing much, just the usual 'how at you', 'why didn't you sit with us' conversation. Lazy to explain and this I say, "I'm anti-social. :)"

Organizer left awhile after and the rest followed. Weird I would say. Why is there a need to leave after the organizer has left? Is the organizer the only link for the rest of the people who appeared? *shrugs*

Anyway, it was a fun night; with my few favourite girls over there making fun of each other, doing up different hairstyles and appearance of a singer. Yup, a singer, someone who has his album sold and have fans, not to mention, a good voice. After listening to him, one would know what it means by professional. :)

Seldom hangout there due to my work, but to date, it remains my best place to relax.

See you soon, my fav hangout! :)

Silenced

Someone recommended this movie to me: Silenced/The Crucible/도가니. It is a Korean Movie which describes about multiple sexual and violence abuse of deaf students by the teachers. This is based on a true event that happened in one of the deaf schools in Korea back in the early 2000s.

I was warned to get ready tissue papers, but I did not expect the darkness and the heaviness of movie; I watched it before I zzz. This movie isn't for everyone. People who have been reading my blog probably knows that I worked as a sign language interpreter few years back and how close I am with the Deaf. This movie reminded me of the advantages that people took from the handicapped and how cruel and indifferent humans can be.

In the real events, the culprits were not punished, they were let off easily due to corruption from the police to the judges. Sounds ridiculous? It does, but it is very real.

We live in a (almost) corruption-free country and therefore, more protected against the dark side of humans. If such thing happened in Singapore, would it have gone unnoticed? Would the culprits be let of so easily with only probation? Probably not. We are very lucky to be born here, where a lot of things are well done and we are well protected.

It's good to know more about other countries; the happenings and the dark side of humans. This allow us to reflect and appreciate our government and the life we have. We are luckier than many others.

Watch this movie. It has affected the government in Korea and the case was reopened after 6 years. Though in the end, only two culprits were convicted, it's better than nothing. It awakened their citizens and made them reflect on the laws that put the handicapped at disadvantage.

In the movie, one of the deaf children mentioned that through this ordeal, it made them realise that they are no different from others; they have rights too.

Being handicapped do not demean their human rights. It definitely does not mean one can bully them and go scot-free.

By the way, a novel was out before this movie describing more detailed about the event. If you find this movie disturbing, you probably should not read the novel; the movie only described less than 1/3 of what the novel has written.

I would not recommend this movie to everyone but if you wish to watch; don't watch before bedtime cos it will set you thinking.

back again

Well, looked at my blog and realised I have not been blogging for more than a year (not this blog anyway). I used to have thoughts that I wanted to pen them down, however, it was usually in the wee hours when I was lying on my bed, having difficulties sleeping. It was a chore to get out of bed, on my computer, log in and type (okay, I was am lazy). Now that Blogger has come out with Iphone app, it is a breeze to keep my thoughts in my "online memory".

I probably would not be able to blog as much as before, but I will try. Still trying to figure out how the app works; heard reviews of people having difficulties loading their pictures in the correct section of their entries. Well, at least I am able to blog whenever I wish to! :)

Would not want to bog down this entry with paragraphs of my life in the past one year or so; just some bullet points for major changes:

• changed a job; got promoted
• workaholic
• travel more (not work!)
• peaceful with not-so-dramatic friends
• happy with my personal life

Overall, I think life is better. :) 

Travelled to a no. of places in the past year and a half, a kind of stress release for me. :) Some photos:

And oh! My sis got married last month (today is 1 July 2012)! It was a mixture of happiness and sadness. Happy because my sis has finally found the one and sad is because she is my little sis and she is married before I do! :(

I remember how I used to tell my friends that I wanted to get married by the age of 26 and have kids by the age of 28. Now, I am 29 years old and I do not wish to get married yet. I do not feel old (okay, sometimes I do when I meet new friends who tell me they are 22 years old and feel old *rolleyes*), and I feel that I have a lot more to achieve in life. Funny how your mindset changes as you age. :)

People around me are still finding their paths in life; some got attached after being lost for so long, some are back to single after realising marriage are not for them (yet), some are already having family planning. Perhaps there isn't any majority of my friends getting married, thus, there is no pressure on me (except from my mum of cos).

My work now leaves me little time for other things. I am always working and OT-ing and well, going overseas, I do not think I have time to plan for family. Of cos, I do wish to get married and have kids in the future, but perhaps not yet. :)

Then again, life is unpredictable, who knows, I may get married next year! In any case, I believe what will come, will come. As a friend's favourite quote, "Qui Sera Sera". :)

I am coming back. :)

a new year has started.. a month of the new year has passed.. and how much has changed in your life?

is there any new resolutions that you have made for this year which you know you probably won't achieve or is there any new beginnings for this year that arised from the endings in the previous years?

i think i am kinda melachony today.. a friend is getting married.. the one who has always been skeptical about marriage.. who had ended relationships cos they were leading to marriage.. and now.. this friend is getting married and all excited about leading a new life with another person.. not to mention the first of the group..

its weird..

now that i am 28 years old.. i must admit that marriage should be next on the list.

but then again, how can you rush such things?

i have friends telling me that she is skeptical about relationships and people..

little trust in others..

and i was thinking, it's scary how much your friends' encounters can affect you..

there are people who are single and alone for the whole of their lives due to ugly encounters from their friends..

i hope i won't be like that..

i really hope so..

mum had told me not to get married too late.. please get married before 30.. but i told her, such things cant be rushed!

who knows, maybe i will only get married at 35?

i mean, i really dono..

to get married is a huge matter..

what kind of man do i want?

someone who loves me to the max? treats me like a princess?

someone romantic?

someone logical?

someone who can control me?

which is better? a romantic silly boy or a logical entertaining man?

they say follow your heart..

but is it always true?

i am not so sure..

after all the encounters and friends' experiences... i am cynical about heart.. the heart doesnt always lead you to the right path..

its good to listen to your brain at times..

how about you?

"Are we born who we are, or do we make ourselves that way?"

i keep having the same question posed to me, "haven't you thought of changing jobs?"


and this is usually after they commented about my workload..


my answer stays the same, "no".


maybe the workload is a lot.. maybe i have ugly customers at times..


perhaps my first love (of passion) isn't here..


but i love my job..


i really do.


i guess i am a workaholic.. i really can't stand slacking at work most of the time.. even half a day of slacking proved too much for me..


i need to do something.. and something different all the time.. i hate mundane work..


this job gives me the flexibility in work, yet disciplined enough for me not to relax too much..


there is enough control on my side for my own work, yet enough restriction to ensure i follow the basic objectives and rules..


there are lots of courses for me to enrich my knowledge (though there are SOME that are way TOO boring and waste of time)..


there is enough exposure for me to learn things from all fields and know people from all walks of life..


the pay is comfortable enough, though i wouldnt mind increment every now and then..


there is also career prospects as long as i am willing to fight for it..


most importantly, i have a fun group of colleagues who will help me when needed (though they can be irritating at times but then again, so do i!) and supervisors who will protect their subordinates..


all in all, i am in good hands.. =)


so nope, i don't intend to resign anytime soon (if there's no major changes in my life!)..


how about you? are you in good hands?

officially one year older this week.. people have been asking me, how do i feel now that i am one year older?
my ans? nothing, just glad that i look younger than my actual age..

but as i lay on my bed, trying to get to zzz.. i thought about the qns again.. how do i really feel now that i am one year older?

i looked back at my years.. and saw the changes.. a friend say i am more mature now.. able to see through life and have learnt to let go of things and people..

but in actual fact, have i really seen through life? of people? do i let go easier now? or am i pretending that i do?

i can understand more of life now.. definitely.. i can understand some things are meant to be.. some aren't..

but do i really accept that explanation? that simple explanation that can lift a person so high up and so down below within seconds?

i dono. i seriously don't.


朋友說我很瀟灑.. 很看得開..
我真的是嗎? 如果是, 為何我會在夜裡哭泣, 為了過去而哭泣?


there are so many people smiling and laughing all the time.. but are they really happy? or are they hiding their true feelings?


are they like me, only cry when the sky is dark and no one is around?


like me, who will hold on to the last moment, bottle things up till there's no more space except out?
is it healthy?


most say no. but who is to judge?


do those people who show their emotions on their faces all the time healthy? cry all the time in public healthy?


*shrugs*


this trait is something that never change through the years.. even when i am older now, i still cry only when no one is around (if i can help it)..


i am still the kind who will laugh and smile on the outside but cry inside..


the one who will keep things within till it reaches the limit..


only one thing has changed.. i am able to accept reality more readily now.. i am able to accept that simple explanation mentioned earlier..


but it takes time..


how long? i dono. depends i guess.


kinda down these days due to a close friend who had her heart broken.. by a guy she never expect to fall but fell so deeply..

she said this, "love deep, gave all.. hurt deep, lost all.."


and my heart ached.. cos it's so true.. simple truth..


she really tried to let go.. i can see that.. but when night falls, her tears start flowing and insomnia follows..


for 2 months plus, that's her life.. and finally, her body gave way..
i felt sad for her.. i wish i can give her a miracle pill so that she will be happy again.. but i cant..


i also cant tell her that miracle will happen cos it won't..
as a friend, i can only hug her, dry her tears, drink with her, shop with her and advise her..


but a woman myself, i know.. it's not that easy, esp for ladies..


she couldnt stop herself from caring for him.. couldnt stop herself from loving him though she knows he no longer have feelings for her..


she laughs and smiles when we are around.. but when night falls and everyone else has left, she looks at me and i can see the sadness in her..


and i understand the pain and sadness.. the kind where you'd rather you have died or lost memories.. hurt so deeply that you'd wish you have never met that person, never been with that person..


rather not have had any hopes right from the start..


*sighs*


and so.. would you rather have loved and lost or never to have loved before?

got a surprise call last night.. made me smile..

a special friend called.. a friend whom i have known since i was 14 years old.. a friend whom always have a special place in my heart..

this friend, A.. seldom calls me.. only once or twice a year.. but one of the calls would always be during my birthday period..

a call to show that i am being remembered.. =)

our calls arent always long, but always full of laughter and bickering (in a good way).. and underneath all these, is care and concern for each other..

both parties smiled.. a true smile..


thats why they always say, distance doesn't affect friendship cos true friendship doesn't depend on the no. of meetups nor phonecalls and definitely not gossiping..

true friendship is the occassional msgs/calls of concern.. the warmth in your heart when you receive the other party's news..

i am indeed lucky, cos i have such friends in my life.. not one, not two.. but a group of angels.. caring for me, separately, in their own ways..

all these angels.. become my friends in different ways.. from school, from forums, from random surfing of net, from work, through friends..

but they all came to the same point: they gotta know me.. know me well enough to see the true me..

know everything about me and love me just the same..

over the years, some left the country.. some got attached.. some focused on their careers.. some got other committments..

but they never forget about me..

no matter how rare our contact are.. friendship stay.. and that's the heartwarming part..

one look and you know, they are always there and will always be there..

thank you my angels..

我们结婚吧! (o^^o)





does it work for you? :D

小情歌-苏打绿
词曲:吴青峰

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐
当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合
当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合
当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

很偶然的讀到這篇報章.. 覺得很有意思..它是這麼說的：

“今天放下, 日後才有可能再提起。。＂

不肯放下， 不能得救! 對於很多人來說，人生就是有很多不能放下的人與事。然而，人生百事，放在長一點的時間，以及大一點的空間去想，唯有放下，才有日後再提起的可能。學習先放下，是一門學問啊！

你學會了嗎?

Credits to: Yahoo! News Singapore

WASHINGTON (AFP) - – Dieters looking to shed more fat and feel less hungry while they do it may benefit from a few more hours in bed, according to a new study.

Dieters lost the same amount of weight whether they slept for a full night or fewer hours, but those who got more sleep lost more fat and they also felt less hungry while awake, according to the study, which appears in the October 5 issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine.

"If your goal is to lose fat, skipping sleep is like poking sticks in your bicycle wheels," said Plamen Penev, an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Chicago and the director of the study.

"Cutting back on sleep, a behavior that is ubiquitous in modern society, appears to compromise efforts to lose fat through dieting. In our study it reduced fat loss by 55 percent," Penev added.

The study, undertaken by the University of Chicago's General Clinical Resource Center, tracked 10 overweight but healthy volunteers aged 35 to 49.

The participants had body mass indexes ranging from 25, which is considered overweight, to 32, which is considered obese.

Each ate a diet designed to give them 90 percent of the calories they needed to maintain their weight without exercise and then spent 14 days getting up to 8.5 hours of sleep and another 14 days getting up to 5.5 hours of sleep.

The difference between the two periods was pronounced.

When the dieters got up to 8.5 hours of sleep a day, more than half of the weight they lost was fat. When they were sleeping just 5.5 hours a day, only one-fourth of the weight loss was fat with the rest being mostly muscle tissue.

And getting less sleep also made it harder to diet, as the levels of ghrelin, a hormone that triggers hunger, increased when the volunteers were sleeping fewer hours.

The strictly controlled diets available to the participants meant they had no access to additional food even when their lack of sleep made them hungrier.

But that would not be the case for real-world dieters, who could further dent their chances of shedding fat by failing to sleep enough, feeling more hungry and eating additional calories.

Penev said the message of the study was clear.

"For the first time, we have evidence that the amount of sleep makes a big difference on the results of dietary intervention," he said.

"One should not ignore the way they sleep when going on a diet. Obtaining adequate sleep may enhance the beneficial effects of a diet."

Courtesy from my friend (a guy of cos)

What women say
And what they MEAN


#1. “Fine”
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.

#2. “Five Minutes”
If she is getting dressed,
this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just
been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

#3. “Nothing”
This is the calm before the storm. This means
something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end with fine.

#4. “Go Ahead”
This is a dare, not
permission. Don’t do it.

#5. “Loud Sigh”
This is actually a word but
is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she
thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of
nothing.)

#6. “That’s Okay”
This is one of the most dangerous statements
a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

#7. “Thanks”
A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say “you’re
welcome”. (I want to add in a clause here – this is true, unless she says
“Thanks a lot” – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT
say “you’re welcome” … that will bring on ‘whatever’).

#8. “Whatever”
Is a women’s way of saying F-YOU!

#9. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it”
Another dangerous statement, meaning you knew it had to be done but
you were lazy to do it and had to wait till i came home to do it. Men should
automatically know it has to be done, also, this is something that a woman has
told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later
result in a man asking ‘what’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

tale spinners

to you:

you are a pathetic bitch.

from both of us. =)

stalkers

i have stalkers in my life, and professional sabotagers who will try all ways and means to ruin my life..

of cos, i already know who they are and how they do things..

i really wonder, should i be honoured or insulted that some people are SOOOOOO interested in my life (or the one they created)?

i really wish to look for them and ask them straight in the face, what kind of satisfaction do they get out of spinning tales?

do they have the ambition to become scriptwriters in Mediacorp or something?

well, if their aim is to simply crush me, make me cry, ruin all my relationships with everyone..

then i am sorry to say, that's not gonna happen.

If whoever listened to those tales and actually doubt me, it only shows how much they know me, how much they trust me.

and if trust isn't there, what's the point of continuing being friends yea?

To the stalkers + tale spinners:

i am not the weak little girl from before.

i am not gonna cry and breakdown and make a big scene.

i will just walk away and let you win.

and i will thank you for letting me see who are true to me.

and it makes me laugh cos you guys are so pathetic..

you can only hide in a corner, sending mysterious smses, spinning tales behind the monitor and gossiping behind other people's back.

you have no courage nor integrity to speak of.

i despise you.

and i wish you good life, if you will ever have any. *smirks*

working

it's been a horrible month.. work, work, and more work..

working till wee hours rushing for events and events..

auditors driving me crazy with all the accounts questioning..

all the necessary entertaining to "clients"..

all the smiling and nodding.. =.=


my boss asked me this one night after our meeting.. (it was already midnight.. ):

"do you regret working here?"

and to my own surprise, i asked myself and the answer was no (and still no)..


yes, this job is tedious.. and people who cared about me have been complaining they don't get to see me often..

even my own colleagues from other departments don't get to see me!

i am often working from early mornings till late nights.. when i reach home, the lights are off and everyone is asleep..

my weekends are often burnt.. with events and meetings and all the ad-hoc activities needed..

i am always tired and i am starting to have white hair (yes and not just one or two strands, sadly..)

my dark rings are darker than before and well, my complexion kinda suffered..

i don't go out much often and my social life is down to almost zero..

but.. i still don't regret changing my job to this current company..


i like to OT in the office with the others.. and joke around.. chatting while working..

i like to stay in the office with piles of papers on my desk and tons of emails to clear..

i like to go for quick break and then come back to the office to rush work..

i like to work under pressure..


this place appreciates people who can work.. who are hardworking..

this place has great colleagues and bosses..

of cos, there are black sheeps everywhere and this place is no different..

but there are tons of pure white sheeps who can control the black ones..


i learnt to be tougher..

i learnt to let go..

i learnt to be patient..

i learnt to appreciate..

i learnt to trust..

i learnt to be appreciated (and i love that feeling)..

i learnt to be true to myself..

i learnt to be flexible..

and most importantly, i learnt that it is okay to be different, to be unqiue, to be imperfect..

and so, i learnt to love myself more.. =)



i also learnt that love is in all forms.. and that sometimes, love means letting go..

weird to learn that at work huh?

but i learnt it.. through colleagues.. and i saw how powerful love can be..

how it make and break a person..

and all kinds of love.. can be seen at work..

between friends, family, lovers, parents and their children..

all of these, seen and experienced at work..


so why should i regret working here?

yes, it took away my time.. and maybe much more..

but what i learnt here is enough to compensate for what i have lost..


i can't say i love my job and i definitely grumble at times..

but regret? Nah.

i stilll have a long way to go here.. and i look forward to it. =)


how much have you learnt at your workplace?

I am going to have a movie marathon this weekend..

There’s sooo many movies I wanna watch!











I think I will watch like 2 movies a day? Will take me 3 days to finish all these movies!

Maybe I should start with one tonight after work. Hmmm..

However, I am the kind of person who doesn’t watch cartoons and comedies on weekends, and [Chen Zhen] will most probably be full house everywhere again..

So i guess my choice will be either Wall Street or Charlie St Cloud..

Okay! These will be my first 2 movies this week then!

Charlie, here i come! :D

update: in the end, i never got to watch any movie.. =.= and oh! i think i wanna watch buried and devil! looked exciting! :D