went to shebang (again) last nite. this time, we had tons of fun. we didnt do much seriously, we drank and played games, sang and teared, chit chat and took pics. but somehow, it was fun. i enjoyed myself alot. really alot. =D




thats purely for entertainment purposes.



we tried taking kissing pic but this dude had to ruin it. =.=


we were very into taking cute pics that night, i have no idea why. i guess when you get older, you will try to act young? lol.


wait, i think the only one who really wanted to act young was............................................ =X

anyway, we finished two bottles and ken ordered another bottle. =.=

none of us were high or drunk (at least to my knowledge) but we were darn happy. haha. guess its the company. :D


pity joy had to leave earlier (which was surprising for ken) and the rest of us left at 5am?







i was actually hungry but too tired to eat (i am already 25!)..

slept with hunger and woke up with it. =.=

for some reasons, i gained weight instead! damn!

joy told me something that really touched my heart.

"we are best friends and at the end of the day, i want one of us to be happy. as long as one of us is happy, i am happy. so i wish you to be happy. you are happy, i will be happy too."

well, i wish the same for you too my bff. be happy. =)




i love my friends alot, and the one i love most is my best friend, always.

女人心事
陶晶莹

东区的咖啡座幽暗的沙发里
总有几张熟悉的脸
那种聪明带点防卫的气质
想放弃却又不甘心的样子
越过她的肩膀空洞洞的视线
摩登女子灰色心事
那种以为自己什么都可以
喝了酒却又哭得像个孩子
我听见爱我的人在哪边渴望的泪
我看见伤心的故事一遍遍我的从前
曾经我也痛过我也恨过怨过放弃过
在自己的房间里觉得幸福遗弃我
如果没有分离背叛的丑陋
怎么算是真爱过
请你试著相信一爱再爱不要低下头
别怕青春消逝就不信单纯的美梦
我在这岸看着你游
为你的坚持感动
你会的有一天会幸福的



thanks joze for sending this song to me. its very nice. =)

after a long time, being stacked too high and having too many parts removed, Jenga falls.

想你是臨睡的習慣 - 動力火車


想你是临睡的习惯
动力火车

寂寞是临睡的习惯
习惯是一个人守着
冰冷的床和烟灰缸
没有你的孤单
想你在这样的夜晚
打开窗吹着冷风
故意把灯关上
试着想像你笑的模样

不懂我的爱在你生命中
占据多少份量
让你哭泣却是我心深处最痛的伤
最残酷的惩罚

i will never try to break your heart
我不愿这样
让爱情不由自主
陷入一场
两败俱伤的战
i will never try to break your heart
我真的不想
再面对没有你的寂寞夜晚
烟雾迷茫的孤单

caught this love cloud on sunday. brightened up my mood. =)



a while later, i took a pic of the sunset and surprisingly, there was a couple right in the middle of the pic (which i din realise till i uploaded it to my laptop). made the pic much more romantic than it originally was.



i am thinking of sun tanning. i was told i looked sick these days. maybe a change of skin tone will make me look healthier.

Love is like the sun...its never really gone, you just cant always see.

have you ever lie in bed and the tears swelled up without any reason?

the heart ached like hell when your day had went well?

the tears jus keep flowing and you felt so sad within 5 seconds?

nothing happened, your day had been fine if not great, you were only stoning for that 5 seconds and such depressing emotions overwhelmed you.

your mind was a blank.

mind you, such emotions do not last long, usually less than half hour.

it disappears as suddenly as it appears.

what does that imply?

the start of depression or the commonly known PMS in ladies?

pre-warning of a breakdown?


does this only happen to ladies or men alike?

have you ever had it? ever?


PS: saw a shooting star last thursday. been years since i last saw one. made a wish. hope it will come true. =)

"People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers."

--Dr. Meredith Grey

these days, i have cravings for alcohol and dancing.

well, of cos, most of the time, i am drinking and dancing but it was more for accompanying friends.

but these days, i myself wish to drink. even though i still do not like the taste of alcohol but it has its benefits. =)

anyway, went for ktv with joy before we went to SheBang @ boat quay last week with pam, joy, francis and ken and then O bar and back to boat quay again. lol.



it was fun till some desperado came over asking for our numbers and wanting us to intro girls to him.

the least he could do was to learn how to pronounce names!

he couldn't even pronounce pam's name when it was spelled and written out for him!

how can people be so desperate for girls?

he asked if all of us were single and we said no. duh. of cos we said no! we will never degrade to that level and go out with him! euwww..

he is not good looking to say the least (thats the superficial level) but his actions condemned him.

he came over without invitation and poured alcohol for himself, OUR alcohol~

thats fine but he wanted to start drinking with pam when he was told that she cant drink!

f*cker.

when joy and i said we shall drink with him full glass all the way, he cowered and started saying bullshit like, "oh.. nah.. you must be good drinker etc etc etc.."

duh. at least we are confident you will be dead drunk way before we are high.

darn. that really turned me off!

what is the motive behind such actions? to get into a lady's pants or?

it cant be anything serious. even flings are hard cos such actions.. euwww..

anyway, have been at SheBang most of the time these days. a nice place to chill out though the waitress i like no longer works there.

its funny how you can see true colors of people when something big happen.

how people whom you thought have integrity will go around snooping on your friendster (and God knows what else) to create gossip about you.

how people stand by you and how people backstab you when you are in the most vulnerable state.

i remember blogging about such people who judge by surface. (read entry here.)

these days, i have been judged by some people whom i feel have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to.

it pissed me off but at the same time, amused me.

they, the gossipers, can be so busy with their lives or some, who cant even get hold of their own lives well, yet able to find time to judge people.

judge, assume and accuse.

the 3 distinct signs of low life gossipers.

of cos, i am not saying i don't gossip. i do and i am not going to deny that.

but to CREATE gossip?

i am sorry, i have standards and i have a good family who brought me up well.

i don't create gossips of people, esp people whom i call FRIENDS just for the sake of doing it (or maybe, for some ulterior motive. who knows?)

i wont degrade to such levels.

i sincerely hope you, the gossiper(s), will have a life soon. life is much better when you do not need to live under other's arses gossips to survive. =)






since we are at the topic of judging and accusing, i find some actions very .... retarded.

how people act on their insecurities and judge, assume and accuse the other party of something that do not exist.

they will then say words that really hurt only to regret it at a later time.

lucky ones will get 2nd chances, unlucky ones only have themselves to blame.

they get insecure and they start creating stories in their mind.

they don't talk about it til its too much for them to handle.

when that happens, the words that come out will be words they wished they can take back.

why push the limits so far till you cant come back to the original point?

humans, again, so.... complicated.

"Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them."

was browsing thru friendster and heard a song : Angela Aki - Tegami

i do not know japanese but she attached the english translation of it. Its meaningful, so i am going to attach over here and share with you people.

a friend told me yesterday, "i believe for every bad day, there will be a good day."

and yes, i guess i should start believing in it too. =)

credits to sheron.

English Translation to Angela Aki's Tegami

Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
Where are you and what are you doing now?

For me who's 15 years old
There are seeds of worries I can't tell anyone

If it's a letter addressed to my future self,
Surely I can confide truely to myself

Now, it seems that I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?
This one-and-only heart has been broken so many times
In the midst of this pain, I live the present

Dear you,
Thank you
I have something to tell the 15-year-old you

If you continue asking what and where you should be going
You'll be able to see the answer

The rough seas of youth may be tough
But row your boat of dreams on
Towards the shores of tomorrow

Now, please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice
For me as an adult, there are sleepless nights when I'm hurt
But I'm living the bittersweet present

There's meaning to everything in life
So build your dreams without fear
Keep on believing

Seems like I'm about to be defeated and cry
For someone who's seemingly about to disappear
Whose words should I believe in?

Please don't be defeated and please don't shed a tear
During these times when you're seemingly about to disappear
Just believe in your own voice

No matter era we're in
There's no running away from sorrow
So show your smile, and go on living the present
Go on living the present

Dear you,
Who's reading this letter
I wish you happiness

笑着流泪
杨采妮

忘了为什么想痛哭一场
你给的理由听来都牵强
说服不了我只好继续假装
眼底没有泪光
几乎要承认对感情失望
但你一靠近又想要原谅
伤心的话语都往心里面藏
受不了也不讲
我笑着流泪就怕夜色太漫长
必须面对失去你的凄凉
温柔已经让我受了伤
多痛一点又何妨
我笑着流泪把快乐留在脸上
不让你看到谁变的心慌
所有关于爱你的迷惘
都让我一个人尝

-hiatus mode on-

1) At what age do u wish to marry?
latest 27

2) How many children do u wan?
2

3) Wat i wan the most nw?
simplicity in life

4) Wat do u wan to b when u grow up?
when i was young, i wanted to be a teacher or an astronaunt (yea yea, go ahead and laugh). but none was what i did when i grew up.

5) If u can hav 1 more dream to cum true.. wat will it b?
hmmmm..a new life? away from here.

6) Wat r u afraid to lose nw?
everything

7) Do u believe in being in love forever?
yes. if you wanna be in love forever, you need to believe in love.

8) If u meet sum1 u luv, wil u confess to him/her?
nope, i will not give myself a chance to be rejected.

9)Wat is ur latest obsession?
well....... =X

10) Wat r the requirements tt u wish frm ur other half?
let me fall in love everytime i see him

11) Which type of person u hate most?
hyprocritical people. they are soooooo fake that you have to take your hat off them. =.=

12) Who is impt to u rite nw?
why is this even a qns? =.= of cos those who i love and love me back!

13) Wat do u tink is the most impt ting in ur life?
love, all kinds of love. not jus BGR kinda love, but all kinds. one cant live without love.

14) Do u find it necessary for u to hav a bf/gf?
necessary? what kind of qns is that? u have a partner cos you fell in love with each other, not cos its necessary! duh.

15) Wat do u wan ur frens to b like?
crazy? lol. they are all crazy at different levels! the closer they are to me, the crazier they are! xD

16) Wat kind of fren do u hope to b in ur frens' eyes?
someone who can be trusted. =)

17) Wat is something u can't live without?
well, i used to think its my memories. but there are some memories that i can live without. so.. i don't know. okok, maybe its still memories. but if you are talking about something material, it would be my camera phone. cos it takes down memories that i am unable keep in my brain. =)

18) If u're feelin low 1 day, who wil u go to?
seriously? no one. i'm too used to bottling up.

19)Who is the last person who sent u an sms?
ah monk.

20) Why do you wanna fall in love?
cos love is what makes the world goes round. =)


Instructions: Remove one question from above,and add in your personal question to make it a total of 20 questions.Then tag 8 people in your links them out at the end of the post.Notify them through their chat box that he/she has been tagged.Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.


nah. i am not going to tag anyone. i am bored, thus i did this. if you wanna do it, do it then. =)

when people try so hard to emphasize that they are not a pair, they will end up together eventually.

how much do you believe in it?

ok, thanks to izzat, i have to do this~ lol. xD


A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

#1 If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
very calm

#2 If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
lead a simple life

#3 What will your dream wedding be like?
tats a secret

#4 Are you hungry?
yes. very much.

#5 What’s your ideal lover like?
someone who knows me as much as i know him. someone who can really make me fall in love with him everytime. someone who makes me feel important. someone who makes me feel that he is more impt than i am.
someone.. who will never let me go.

#6 Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved by someone i love.

#7 How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
when it comes to love, time is not an issue is it? so doesn't matter how much time is needed to wait as long as at the end of the day, u get the one you love.

#8 If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
i keep the feelings in my heart.

#9 Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
yes.

#10 Is being attached fun?
it can be.

#11 How do you see yourself in ten years time?
married with 2 kids.

#12 Who are currently the most important people to you?
my family, my loved ones and my friends in my circle of trust.

#13 What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
he is really an interesting person. fun and very friendly. someone with deep thoughts.

#14 Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
married and poor. but no kids please. don want my kids to suffer.

#15 What’s the first thing you do every morning?
snooze the alarm. lol.

#16 Would you give all in a relationship?
yes, all that i can give.

#17 If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
the one that i will have happiness with. the one whom i will smile when i tot of him.

#19 What are your friends usually like?
real, straight-forward, crazy and fun. lol.

#20 What type of friends do you dislike?
hyprocritical. those who keep changing best friends (i jus cant understand this childish part of changing best friends). and oh! those who are only there when they need u.


The eight persons that I have drag down together to do the quiz are:
err.. this is bad. i don even know who reads my blog. =.=

ok. those names who come to my mind then (who has blogs)

1] joy
2] jayce
3] pam
4] phy
5] jamieee
6] agnes (nes)
7] rach
8] trixy

how hard is it to find someone who knows u inside out?

someone who can sense you miles away and get your thoughts by a look?

someone who is very ordinary outside but is the soulmate to you inside?

someone who well, look into your eyes and fill you with overwhelming love?

jus that one look and you know he/she is the one.


but how sure are we?

how many times have we thought/assumed that HE/SHE IS THE ONE only to realise down the road he/she isnt?

i always wonder.. how people decide to spend the rest of their lives with the other particular person?

cos of love?

cos of habit?

cos its comfortable?

cos of responsibility?

i'd asked alot of people, those married, those attached, those single, those under 20s, above 20s, late 30s to early 40s.

the answers i gathered are:

trust
comfortable
understand each other
responsible



but no love. no one mentioned love.

has the meaning of marriage changed so drastically through out the decades that love is no longer a deciding factor?

how about the vow that said:

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part."

where has the meaning of it gone?

is it only a script to be spoken only for the sake of it?

have we evolved so much that the most sacred part in life is lost?

the purest of feelings are no longer desired?

have we become so complicated that we cant understand the simplicity of such matters?

what are we then?

i wonder.





i wish, the day i am 80, my hubby still loves me as much as he did when he first fell in love with me.

to hold me hands and be my eyes when i cant see well while i will be his legs when he cant really walk.

i wanna be in love always. not to love but be in love. always.

its funny how life always turn out NOT the way you thought it would.

there's alot of things that you predicted or expected to go this way only to find out its totally different from what you had originally thought.

some turn out much better than you expected and sadly, some turn out worse.

we always thought we could control our lives, we could make things happen in the way we wanted, but most of the times, it does not.

this is especially true when feelings are involved.

you thought A do not like you, it turned out A actually likes you alot.

you thought you and B would end up together only to find out that was a lie all along.


we humans are so clever, yet we cant even control our very own relationships. what an irony.

are we really clever or are we jus too full of ourselves?

i miss my long hair! xD



at work with pam last fri. raffles town club! good money and food! lol


and poof! gone is my long wavy hair the very next day and comes with my short bob hair!




but i love my short hair!

new hair style, new beginning!

hope i will have more luck now! =D

i knw this is an extremely backdated post, considering this happened in april. xD

sorry sorry, but i was too lazy to upload the pics and talk about it.

but now i am going to fulfil my promise and blog about it.

i went to bkk with my best friend on a 10day trip. yes yes, very long but then again, holidays are meant to be long!


its supposed to be a break from the reality! lol.

on the plane. =D


the sky view from the plane. how serene. =)

so we went on budget airline and budget hotel (we are not a couple, we do not need ambience etc. haha).


our hotel. ^^

we met with Thailand's Water Festival aka Song Kran. It was crazy. the people do not only use water guns, they use pails of ice water (those that were used to keep the bottles cold) and splash on anyone who walked out of the hotel.

it didn't help that the hotel staff were doing the same. =.=

look how wet the hotel staff was!

the weather was a crazy of 40 degrees~!


yet, we felt so cold. cos the water was really icy. *shivers* we bought bikinis the day before to prepare ourselves as you know, bikinis dry faster. haha.

we too put everything in ziplock bags and our bag in a huge ziplock bag. we were all prepared, but we did not expect the extent of the water festival. =(

they were all getting ready for their target.. *shivers*

they jus kept aiming at us! from the moment we were out of the hotel, we were surrounded (yes, SURROUNDED) by all the locals with pails and pails of water. they even use powder and flour on us. x(



we were soaked to the skin within 5 mins. going to chatujak wasn't any better as they had seen us wet, they find it ok to make it worse. in the end, we didn't buy anything. we went off within half an hour.

even the taxi driver had water gun and he sprayed at ppl everytime the taxi stopped!

lousy us went back to the hotel sick. we were actually not at our best when we went over. with the hot weather and the icy water, our body gave way.

the after effects of Song Kran.

slept through out the afternoon and kept ourselves in the hotel for the next 2 days (Song Kran last for 4 days).

we had 10 days there, so 2 days in the hotel was ok. we get to relax and chit chat, indulge in hotel food and room service, going crazy and of cos, no spending of money on clothes~! lol.



yummy food in the hotel! ^^

as you see, the moment we reached, we started shopping. our hotel was opp pratunum market, thus we are basically surrounded by shopping centres. all shopping centres were within walking distance.



our pink taxi. everything was pink including the seats (which u can see in the pic). princesses we are. lol.

so we walked everyday and as we walked, we saw pretty things which were cheap. itchy hands will reach for the wallet for money. lol.

in 3hours, we bought a whole bed of clothes, for each of us. haha. girls. xD


3hours of shopping during the first day. =X

our purchases. as u can guess, the one on the right wasn't mine. xD

for the next few days, we were controlling each other not to buy anymore things. and it succeeded for me, not so much for my best friend. lol.

we walked to all shoppin centres that we know in the city centre.

we went to:

pratunum market


pratunum centre

city complex

platinum shopping mall

siam paragon


siam square

mbk



big C


central world





their food were great! at central world food court. =D


wat else did i forget?

oh!

we went to chatujak, suam lom, patpong, khao san, rca too.


khao san. Song Kran was the next day and they were already splashing water. =.=

patpong.

for 2 girls, we are really crazy! lol.

hello kitty taxi.

we went to watch midnight movie at MBK cos we were bored.

when u are at a foreign country, of cos you will choose to watch local productions rite?

so we chose a thai movie with english subtitles, with no idea what it was except its a thriller.

our movie tickets.

this was the movie we watched.


we were trying to be funny.

it turned out to be Art Of The Devil 3. =.=

I rem watching Art Of The Devil 2 with rach few years back. it was gross.

to those who do not know what this movie is about, its about black magic. dark dark black magic. with alot of gross scenes like burning a person alive, cutting off the tongue, sewing the eyes with safety pins, eruptions of the intestines with maggots all around etc.

and nope, none was censored.

it was late at night and the movie theatre had less then 20 pple, creepy.

we couldnt zzz that night. so much for being bored. =.=


oh! we went clubbing at patpong and rca! yup, just the two of us. xD


the club/pub at patpong was called Splash and they were good! their RnB music were live band! very powerful! ^^

getting ready to club. haha.

their liveband of RnB.

their drinks were cheap (which was expected) but they did not have the usuals we had.

still, it was nice if you love alcohol. they aren't as stingy as singapore clubs, their alcoholic drinks are full of alcohol!

as for RCA, we went to Route 66. it was nice too. very nice designs but the environment was much more complicated than Splash.

getting ready for RCA. haha.


we had a bottle of Red Label for ourselves and in the end, we had a total of 2 bottles of that. nope, we did not like Red Label but it was cheap! lol.

during the first hour.

after the first hour. lol.

we are really 2 crazy girls, to drink so much with no guys. =.=

but it was fun! really fun!

wat's the best way to have bonding but a trip for two? =D

the end of the trip. thats only part of what we had. lol.

i know some of you are wondering, but nope, my best friend has always been this one and no one else.

i am not the kind who changes best friend like clothes, so my best friend stays the same.

that goes to pple i trust, unless they have proven time and time again that they are not worth my friendship, they usually stay as friends to me (i think i only ended two friendships. haha)..

so my best friend is still joycelyn ng. since the day we met few years back.

of cos, we had our arguements, disappointments, cold wars and she cant stand alot of things about me, and vice versa.

we always nag about each other but at the end of the day, we love each other and we always trust each other. =)

she will always trust me no matter what other pple say and vice versa.

its actually VERY hard to find a person who will trust you no matter. i am glad i found a bunch of them. ;-)

so overall, this trip is reeally good (even if it burns a hole in the wallet).. =D

if u want more pics, u can find it on my friendster profile. xP

there will be another trip again, soon i hope. haha.

bkk is really fun, if u can stand the heat!


PS: pam, u can go again next year since i believe u wil totally enjoy the Song Kran! lol.

PPS: my dearest friend is back from taiwan! and bought things for me! lol.

its not so much of the things he bought but the fact that he is back, missed him so much! x(