As my friend and I were chatting over msn (since both of us gotta work till 10pm on New year's Eve) .. He saw my display pic (below) and said:

Vidzy @ work says (8:53 PM):
*wah
ur dimples so deep
*haha no wonder wun get drunk whaha
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:54 PM):
*?
*what
does it gotta do with my dimples?
Vidzy @
work says (8:55 PM):
*u dunno wat dimples is called in chinese?
*酒窝
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:56
PM):
*yea
*i noe
*but what does my not getting drunk gotta
do with my dinples?
Vidzy @ work says
(8:57 PM):
*haha u have deep dimples ma!
*the belief is that
deeper the dimples, the more one can drink haha
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:57 PM):
*serious?
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:58 PM):
*i have never heard of
such belief
Vidzy @ work says (8:59
PM):
*haha now u do
*but how accurate i dunno

hmmm..i really never heard of such beliefs.. have you? lol

today i had an interesting qns being asked by a colleague..

"how do you know that's love? the feeling?"

its like what i had asked my friend, "how do you know he's the one?"

and as the answer always is..

"i don't know. it just feel right.."

and it's true..

there's no explanation.. no way to describe.. no way to test or confirm if that's real love.. if that's the right person for you..

you just know it..

when you are alone.. he/she is the one that comes to your mind.. all the time..

you close your eyes and imagine 5 years later.. 10 years later.. 50 years later.. and there he/she is.. right beside you.. and you smile (or got a shock for some)..

some may argue that it might just be an illusion.. but.. ain't all love illusions? that may last for life?

aren't all of us looking for that particular illusion that may.. become the reality for us?



there's always a risk of the bubble bursting..

you may end up with nothing.. you may end up with everything.. who knows?

life is unpredictable..

sometimes, some things seems so bleak.. may end up completely different from what you had expected..



some says, they never fall deep in love.. they never want to get married..

yet.. more often than not.. they fall when they least expected it and the thought of living without that person scares them more than they getting married..

ta da.. they knew that's love.. that's the one..



who can teach you? some things can't be taught.. some things can't be explained..

like supernaturals in life, love is unexplainable by science and theories..

that's why its so special.. only a handful in the world will experience it..



those who experience it swear it exists and those who didn't will never believe in it..

(till they met the one who can change their minds.. )



love can make or break a person..



are you broken or remade?

Living is a chore .. I'm tired of it ..

眼淚成詩
孫燕姿


我已經已經把我傷口化作玫瑰
我的淚水已經變成雨水早已輪迴
我已經已經把對白留成了永遠
忘了天色究竟是黑是灰

分手傷了誰誰把它變美
我的眼淚寫成了詩已無所謂
讓你再回味字不醉人人自醉
因為回憶總是美

我已經已經把絕情變成了恭維
因為不配你就忽然自卑說聲失陪
我已經已經把沉默變成了懺悔
無路可退只能無言以對

so near yet so far ..

i was told not to publicise my personal stuff.. and i was thinking.. if on my own blog i cant be real.. if in my own fb profile, i cant be true.. if i have to pretend in front of those i love most.. where can i be frank?

no one reads my blog anyway.. so is my fb.. those who really cares will know it thru my own mouth.. not thru such engines..

alot of people speculate over my one fb msg.. a msg which was written in an emotional state.. a heartbroken state.. and pple started spreading rumours..

its my fault and if there're things i regret, this is one of the most regrettable stuff i had ever done..

these are the places where i could be frank cos he never reads it.. he never read my profile nor my blog.. and i tot i could be frank without pissing him off..

but i forgot.. walls have ears.. words spread and ta da! its done.. i have ruined it again..

and now i have to bear the consequences.. of pretending.. to be happy.. to be contented..

sitting right beside him n knowing he's not mine.. standing beside him and can't hold his hands..

feeling sick and pretended that am healthy.. smiling n happy..

only one thing never change: i still hide in the toilet n cry and he still doesnt know..

nothing to be happy about over here..



first time.. really.. to feel like this.. to really understand some ppl love till they wanna die..

why some ppl committed suicide over love..

cos living without the one they love is worse than dying without them..



not worth it.. some would say but who's to judge?

no one.

no one has the right to judge cos you cant fault love..

love is without reason, without justification.. without conditions.. and definitely without logic..




i m standing in a position of loving n being loved..

love or be loved?

my mind says latter but my heart chooses former..

to be happy or miserable?

again, mind chooses the easy way out and heart chooses the hard one..

stupid.. utterly stupid..

but love makes you stupid.. thats the way it should..

and right now, i am being one..




on an emotional roller coaster.. up the few hours, and crashing for the rest of it..

depressed, suicidal, hysterical, schizophrenic..

will this ever end?

like a fairytale? a romance movie?

and they live happily ever after?

if i pray hard enough, will it happen?





if i beg you, will you come back?

a friend said this over msn..

xx says (12:29 AM):
*relationship involve both party
*is like playing a game
*both party can set the rules
*each has their rights to ask for things
*and it is for both to nego on the terms
*if they cannt set the terms right
*den no point comtinuing

very interesting and it set me thinking..

isn't it true?

there's always terms n conditions..

and we usually didn't read that part..

and end up breaking all of them..




can we set the terms right?

some say, as long as there's no physical contact (sex, kiss, hugs etc), that's not cheating..

i say, when there's intention to do so, it's cheating..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, lies were to protect the other party from hurt..

i say, lies were to protect the sender from facing the music.. from dying with guilt and clearing the mess he/she created..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, there's love.. shouldn't give up..

i say, there's love but there's no trust = nth

some say, you've come a long way..

i say, it means nth if this long way didn't stop the other party from wanting to cheat (if he hasn't alr done so)..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, once lied, may not lie forever..

i say, if the lie means nth to the sender, then yes, he/she will lie forever.. more n more, smarter n smarter.. a vicious cycle..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, two people together, there's definitely differences in thinking..

i say, difference is ok, but not when values are different and respect is not shown for the other party's values..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, after while, there's definitely no passion in a rs.. cant possibly be honeymoon all the time..

i say, that's bullshit cos i have experienced passion for long time in a rs before.. its all up to the party whether he/she wants to make the effort to keep the flame from dying..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, outsiders see clearer..

i say, insiders know better..




i used to wonder why was it that my ex bf loved me but wanted to break up with me?

and now, i understand..


love is important but trust is more important..

when trust is gone, nothing else matters..




when you chose to sms the girl , your heart was no longer with me .. and when you chose to lie to me , the relationship died ..

丁当 - 你为什么说谎
作词：刘沁 黄婷 作曲：刘沁


这次我走开 再没有话要说出来
我不想再期待走下去 还能多精彩

我不了解你怎能心安
也抓不住你的倔强
可是我知道你 你为什么说谎

你说你还在 一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里 可是这一切已太晚

我不能再像从前一样
为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释 你为什么说谎

你不能说我没有爱过 说我没等过难过
我也想说 也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪 怎么就流下来

你说你还在 一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里 可是这一切已太晚
我不能再像从前一样
为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释 你为什么说谎

你不能说我没有爱过 说我没等过难过
我也想说 也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪 怎么就流下来

你不能说我没有爱过 说我没等过难过
我也想说 也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪 怎么就流下来

你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪 怎么就流下来

nothing is impossible..


Source: asiaonehealth

Wife allergic to husband's sperm

It was supposed to be a special night between the both of them.

But the young bride discovered a shocking truth on the marriage bed - she was allergic to her husband's sperm.

It was a torturous experience, said Julie Boyd.

"I knew something was not right because I was in a lot of pain," the 26-year-old American told UK tabloid The Daily Mail.

"The pain that I was feeling was like somebody sticking needles up inside of me... a real painful burning," she said.

Describing the pain, she said: "On a scale of one to 10, it's pretty much a 10."

She also told the tabloid that the pain lasted for weeks and blisters developed.
Screencap: Internet

The wedding night was not the first time that she had sex with her husband. The couple had slept together during their two year engagement, but always with protection.

They decided to do away with condoms on their first night as a wedding couple.

Numerous tests

After going for numerous clinical tests, doctors confirmed that Jule suffered from seminal plasma hypersensitivity - her body would attack her husband's sperm, making it inactive, reported The Daily Mail.

Said a doctor: "The body recognizes the sperm as a foreign protein, like it would recognize a peanut allergen or a pollen so you have swelling, you have itching, you have inflammation of the nerve endings."

Unable to conceive naturally, the couple is now considering adoption.

我不是你想像那麼勇敢
梁文音

作詞：姚謙 作曲：陳威全

有時候太堅強 笑容卻填不滿眼眶
越是想要隱藏 歌聲就唱的更響亮
直到入到心底最深處
你不要追問我 還缺了些什麼

每個人都有夢 幸福總站在最遠方
心中越是渴望 越是不敢伸手擁抱
誰的心是我最後一站
我常問我自己 現在還沒有個答案

我不是你想像那麼勇敢
多想讓你保護 能流淚一場
讓我放下武裝 像個孩子一樣
單純的把愛情放在你心上

每個人都有夢 幸福總站在最遠方
心中越是渴望 越是不敢伸手擁抱
誰的心是我最後一站
我常問我自己 現在還沒有個答案

我不是你想像那麼勇敢
多想讓你保護 能流淚一場
讓我放下武裝 像個孩子一樣
單純的把愛情放在你心上

我不是你想像總是扮演堅強
多想讓你知道我也要個伴
放下討厭武裝 像個孩子一樣
單純的把愛情放在你心上

我不是你想像的那麼勇敢

Picture by: DariaDonMOR
many times i tried to blog something but when the page loads, my mind went blank..

i had no idea what to blog about..

my daily life?

my halloween night?

my work life?

nah. all too boring.

not that nothing happened to my life these days (in fact, alot of things happened)..

just that when i had the feel to blog, i wasn't anywhere near my laptop and when i do, i couldn't rem what i was supposed to blog about..

the feeling was gone and it could not be found.. well, till the next time at least..

and now, i sit here, typing away, hoping sth will come into my mind.. .... .... ....

nth.

damn.

have i lost the touch of blogging or am i really that busy that i have no time to blog?

answer is both.

i don't seem to be able to find back those feels to blog like i used to in the past.

the job i have now is burying me alive with all the ad hoc and non- ad hoc OTs, meetings, courses and events..

not to mention most aren't claimable for off days..

with that kind of schedule, i have no time to blog.. the time i have is used for zzz and be with loved ones..

all my other time has been eaten up by work..

sucks i know.

i always tell people that work isn't everything but look at me now. its my life.

went to send my mum n sis off the other day (they went Korea. i can't go. no leave. ) and my mum told me, i looked very tired.

i say yea and she said, "唉, 你真的是勞碌命ㄚ.. 每天都那麼忙.. 能休息就休息吧~"

and i agreed. my life is labourer life. work n work n work.

i don have the life of a princess or those born with silver spoon.

what to do?

like a fren had mentioned, my life since born till now is very tough and this year will be the toughest.

life will only get better when i turn 27.

which is either in 2 months time or a years time.

we shall see.

well, it really hasn't been the best year of my life, considering all the downs that i had.

but its the downs that made me appreciate the ups and some of the downs were blessings in disguise. so i am actually glad.

the year is ending, its the time where people start reviewing the what they had done in the past year, had they meet the goals and start making new goals and targets for the new year.

i think back and i realised i have nothing to review cos i had made no targets nor goals this year.

it has been a cruise-thru year for me.

a year for me to change a life. a makeover of sort.

and i can't say i hate it cos change is the only constant.

i may not like the change but that the only constant in life, really.

with every turn comes a new opening.. with every door closed opens a new window and with all the downs, come the ups in life.

i have cried alot this year.. but i believe i have truely laughed alot this year too..

fake laughs and smiles? still exist.

but the amt of times i had really laughed or smiled increased.

so all is balanced in life.

its not so bad afterall if you look at it in a different light.

so all is good for me i guess.



how about yours?

credits to: Joanna Huiting :D

Angela あやか 哇! 很準耶!

Angela 已參加 看看你是怎樣的一個人？（準） 測驗，結果是 4.生氣

1.不是跟你很熟的人覺得你是......一個很會關心別人的人，很容易發現身邊有人不開心，不會很容易講錯東西或話題。
2.跟你很熟的人覺得你是......可以跟你講道理，黑白之間分辨得很清楚。
3.你想要別人覺得你是......很聰明，不過又不會驕傲的人。
4.你最希望你的情人是......智慧很重要，可以管得到你的人，而且要講道理。
5.其實真實的你是......直接的人，很多時候因為這樣的性格跟別人不合，希望有多一點人可以了解你，特別是你喜歡的人。

快來作個屬於自己的心理測驗! | 參加此測驗

just did this quiz in fb.. true..

it says..

1. people who don't know me well thinks i am ........ a very caring person, has the ability to sense if another person is unhappy, and doesn't easily say the wrong word or topic.

2. people who knows me well thinks i am ........ a person whom they can talk reason to, who draw a very clear line between right and wrong, black and white.

3. i hope people will think that i am ....... a smart but ain't proud person.

4. i wish that my lover is ........ of high intelligence, can control me but reasonable.

5. actually, i am ......... a straight forward and frank person, alot of times, i can't mix well with other people due to my character, hopes more people can understand me a little better, especially the one i like.


hmmmm.. its really true.. go try it.. =)

Chatting with a fren and she said this:

P says (6:56 PM):
gettings guys is like buying fruits..
P says (6:56 PM):
outside nice nice if inside rotten cannot refund

what a great analogy..

when i was younger, i yearned to be part of a group.. big group.. wanted to be invited to activities etc..

but as i grow older.. i'd rather go out individually with the people i called friends than to waste my time faking my smiles at people i didn't like in a group..

don't get me wrong.. i don't despise or dislike going out in a group.. but i wont crave for it.. neither would i be affected if i am not being invited..



in a big group of friends, let's say 10-20, can you really say that this is a group of friends who are true to one another? that all are really good friends and such?

most prob not..



in a group of less than 5, yea.. there will be true or real deep bond.. but more than that? its hard..

in a big group like this, there's bound to be small cliques.. and friction and well.. displeasure..

its only a matter of time where a group like this will crack and split into small groups.. jus like Soviet Union (USSR)..



Up till now.. i have never seen a group of friends (more than 5 "members") remain the same group..

esp friends since young.. pri? sec? jc?

they usually split up due to more n more conflicts.. seeing true colors of one another etc..

smart ones keep quiet and fade away..

not-so-smart ones will stay in there, trying to keep everything together.. not accepting that things aren't the same anymore..

(just like in a relationship yea?)



i think its better that you are remembered as an individual and they meet up with you separately than to be remembered as a group member to be asked along for group outings only.. where's there only fun..


what do you think?

(1) 当一个孤独的男孩经常对你厣厣一笑时,他已经喜欢上你了

　　
(2) 每次和你在一起的时候,他会很沉默,明明牵着你的手,却一会看天一会看云,你会认为他不喜欢你,错了,此时他眼里只有你,只是他习惯了一个人的感觉.
　　

(3) 当你在也受不住沉默的时候,你提出分手.他没有忧郁一刻便答应了,你认为他是真的不爱你,错了,他只要幸福快乐,满足你所有欲望,所以宁可忍痛退出.
　　

(4) 他答应以后,便故作一点也不在乎的,漫无经心的走掉了,但是你永远也不会知道他心里是多么难过,也许这是他真的知道世界上有一种感觉叫欲哭无泪.
　　

(5) 分手后,他每次走过你身边,都会显得更无所谓,但是你不会知道,当你转身只后,他会静静望着你的背影偷偷留泪.


(6) 就在你终于知道他是多么爱你并且你也仍爱着他的情况下,你去他的廎室找他,推开门,他正在椅在床上默默叹气,你走进她他,他却顾也不顾的一把把你抱住,你笑了,这时却觉得衣襟湿湿的,你永远也不会知道,你的这个笑容,是他用多少不绵的泪夜换来的.

"if holding on is too tough, maybe its time to let go.."

an advice i tell my friends when they do not know if they should let go or hold on..

but more often than not, they choose to hold on even when it hurts so bad.. cos when you hold on, you can still hope..

by letting go, you are accepting the reality that its the end..

and that is hard..

facing and accepting the reality is really hard..

a part of us, humans, like to escape and refuse to accept the reality..

why should we when we can keep holding on and having a glint of hope?

true..

but only by facing the reality can one move on.. and be stronger..

ever thought of that?

i did.

"what doesn't kill you make you stronger.."

there's a reason why there's such a saying..



having said that, who had ever been so logical?

especially when it comes to matters of heart?

i didn't.


how about you?

"When one is in love,

one always begins by deceiving one's self,

and one always ends by deceiving others.

That is what the world calls a romance."

~Oscar Wilde

so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^

You took my heart and lifted it high

Then you let it fall...hard...

And watch it broke into million pieces...

For me to pick up and mend it

But...

It can never be perfect again

Coz there’s a deep scar

Left by you