God's will?

It's funny how God show you his way, how he sets obstacles/paths to let you know that what you are doing is/isn't good for you.

If its good, you realise there's a lot of paths leading you to that goal. If it's not, you will find a lot of obstacles.

For example, you aren't supposed to go somewhere and thus, though you have found ways and means to go, and finally got to go, the place may be closed.

If you are supposed to meet a person, you may have cancelled the date which you walk aimlessly later on and suddenly, you will bump into him/her.

We often do not think much about it but if you do observe, you will realise how amazing such is. Of cos, if you only believe that fate is in your hands, what I have just mentioned is bull shit. But then again, no harm having an open heart right? :)

So is the path you are walking now meant to be?

Missing you

Missing someone is your heart's way of reminding you that you love them.

If you do, let them know. There may not always be a tomorrow. Treasure the present.

To love or be loved?

In a relationship, both should be happy. A wise man once said, to love is miserable, be loved is happiness. How true is that? We always advise our friends to be with the one who loves them, who is "good", the "better person", don't be with the "bad guy", the "arsehole".

Truth is who are we to judge? Love is blind and doesn't matter if the person is good or bad, treats you well, love you more or less. If your heart were to fall for him/her, you will fall. We always took eyes at friends who break the "better person"'s heart and choose to be with the "arsehole" but when such situation happens to us, how sure are we that we will choose the "better person" and not the "arsehole"?

No matter how bad a person is, there must be some good in him/her that attract people and vice versa. Do you follow your heart or mind? Is love emotional or logical? I'm sure you have your answer.

Two people in love, only they themselves see the truest form of each other an know best why they love each other. We can't see doesn't mean they don't exist.

So next time, before you start rolling your eyes, think about it. Are you that logical in love? If yes, are you sure you are in love?

Tired

Tired, so tired.

Tired of pretending.

Tired of entertaining.

Tired of faking my smiles.

Tired of being a venting machine.

Tired of being blamed for no reason.

Most of all, tired of not being myself.

I am not tired of life, I am tired of my life.

Easy job.. Not

A lot of people thought that my job is easy – since my workplace is a place where the public seldom patronage. All I have to do is serve them when needed and sit around, doing nothing. The only down side is probably the shift work and the need to work on weekends. They are so damn wrong.

My job scope is all rounder. I play different roles every day, from supervisor to table cleaner. I also play the contractor, laborer, packer, balloon sculptor, mail distributor, waitress, entertainer, event organiser, personal assistant, clerk, social worker,  just to name a few.

It is never the same at my workplace; every day is different roles. I definitely do not sit around and wait for time to pass. I always expect the unexpected; someone fell down, disputes, last minute assignments, etc.

Is my job interesting? At times. Is it tiring? No doubt about it.

I start work in the morning as early as 830am and end work as late as 3 or 4am. I work on weekends and sometimes, public holiday. Festive seasons are not appealing for people like us as that is when we have more work to do, with more OTs and less sleep. My job is considered service line; I serve the public. Therefore, I need to be polite at all times, even if the person is nasty to me. This is part of our job – venting machine.

I am definitely tired, and at times, the stress eats into me and I get very down. I can’t zzz or eat well; I always look tired (if you look closely) and I have (almost) no social life.

So whenever people commented that my job is easy, I always ask them to try taking over me for one month and tell me if it is easy. I get frustrated when people think that my job is a highly paid easy job, it is definitely not; nowhere near the description of “easy job”.

My colleagues face the same issue too and sometimes, they are so pissed with such comments, they left the job. They felt unappreciated as even people who have seen us working may sometimes comment the same thing, or worse, saying that we are paid staff, thus, it is justifiable for us to work long and irregular hours, to get scolding for no reason and to lose our personal time.

It is not justifiable; no job is worth the effort and time unless you are willing to do so, willing to go the extra mile to ensure your job is done properly. We can get the same pay and not do much; we can sit around and procrastinate. We did not. This is not because we are highly paid (which we are not), it is because we are responsible people who ensures that our work is done on time, properly and do our best at all times. All we need is appreciation, which is rare.

It is human nature to take things for granted. That is the downside of this job. We are often not being appreciated for what we have done, and sometimes, it takes a toll on some of the staff and they resign. As much as it is human nature to take things for granted, it is also human nature to crave for appreciation. Job satisfaction is often not monetary; it cannot be measured by the amount of pay you get. A simple thank you can make a person’s day. How often do we hear that?

  So next time, if you are being served by a nice person, say thank you. It may keep a person in the job for another year. 

Leave or stay

Have been in a dilemma for the past month or more.. Ain't sure on the path that I should take.. People around me have been giving me different advices and points of view..

Friends and family have noticed my increasing unhappiness and tiredness, they are worried about me. I wish I could make a decisive choice without considering so much, but I can't. I guess I am worried about making the wrong choice..

Then a friend said this to me, "At the end of the day you live for yourself. No point being miserable so other people can be happy. Do what makes you happy."

I thought about it, and she seemed to sound logical, why should I keep living for others? Especially when they do not appreciate me? For my character, I have not expected myself to tolerate such treatment for years, but I did. I guess I have been trained well, which is both good and bad. How long more can I tolerate before I break down? I do not want a nasty ending.

Perhaps, it is time to move on, and find my old self before she is lost forever.

God, please give me strength.

累了

真的好累。

TG National Day

August has been a busy month with lots of major events going on, with the most major being the National Day Dinner Celebration.

Having 3 major events within 4 days was no joke. It was a month of long working hours, lots of meetings, site recees, frustration and nervousness. Nevertheless, it was full of fun and I definitely learnt a lot. ツ

For the first time in my life, I performed on stage with more than 2,000 audience. It was a scary yet exciting experience. I was arranged to partner with my big boss and my heart almost stopped. Despite being talkative and friendly, it was totally different when you have to perform on stage with huge crowd and partnering with your big boss. I felt like a kid having to meet the principal. Well, on the positive side, at least my big boss knows me now! haha

Decorating of the place

Final Rehearsal for the performance *nervous*

 

My big boss

The little angels on stage =)

Our trainer for our performance

The little angels ♥  

Random Pic

Group photo with the staff 

Success Event!

Yam Seng! :D

Just as we were busy with National Day events, it was the time of the year: 7th Month (Hungry Ghost Month). I was warned beforehand that I have to attend many 7th month dinners and I have to eat a lot of Kong Ba Baos (Chinese Braised Pork Buns). I did not take much notice of it as I was thinking, why should I be worried? Kong Ba Baos are nice and well, they are free dinners, people would not be afraid of free dinners, would they?

I was sooooooo wrong. By the second dinner, I dreaded seeing the food. Though free, they come in large portions and the food are almost the same for every dinner. It did not help that I was attending 3 dinners for 3 consecutive days and Kong Ba Bao is one of the standard dishes for the dinners.

It was definitely fun watching the residents bid for the items and the food are nice. However, one can get sick of good food if they are served to you too often, and in my case, for 3 consecutive days. =.=

When I am writing this post, I have been to at least 7-8 dinners and more to come. Always the same few dishes.

First few dishes

The fish is always the same. =.=

the kong ba baos!!!! I had to eat two! 

Of cos, the dishes are usually nice and sometimes, it is really exciting watching the residents bidding for the items. Some items can go up to more than $10,000!

2 bottles of Macallan for $288!

Martell is one of the most popular items for 7th month bidding and for some places, one bottle of Martell can go up to $1,000!

I do not understand Hokkien, thus, it gets quite boring for me. Well, still, it is an interesting experience for me.

Alright, off to the next dinner! :)

Adidas Jeremy Scott

Finally, my shoes arrived! Adidas Jeremy Scott's wings series! Love it to the max!

When I first saw the shoes online, I was totally sold! I love wings (perhaps due to my name) and I definitely love unique stuff! This pair of shoes have both! It is not expensive either, only $100++.. I couldn't find it in Singapore and bought it online  instead. There was hiccups during the delivery process but overall, I still love it!

Originally, I saw this design, white in colour. The model was wearing them and it looks really cool!

However, when I went in and saw the other designs, I find the other wing design nicer. The above design has  something that I did not like: the wings are stuck behind, it doesn't "fly". =(

Later on, I saw that there are gold colour for the shoes! Silver is ugly and white is too common, not to mention luminous is  useless to me unless I am a guy who wishes to impress the girls at a party. So it is pretty obvious what my choice is! :D

See the wings? How can anyone NOT love it? :D

How it looks when you wear them

The kids were impressed with the wings and thought I could fly in them! The innocence of  kids are so lovable! :D

Now I am looking at buying another pair of design, though I am having reservations with the seller. *shrugs* Oh well, we shall see how it goes.

Oh! They even have bears and/or tails designs! I particularly love this design!

Cool isn't it? I'm into leopard prints  recently :P

The tails are so damn  cute!

They have bear design too but seems too much for me.

Time to save up! :D

Marriage for love?

Been hearing quite a number of couples getting married after being together for 6 months (and knowing each other less than a year).. All these news were sudden too, like 3 months before the wedding? And nope, not shotgun, which will be more understandable. It makes me wonder, did they decided to get hitched coa they are madly in love or is it the in thing now, for people our age?

They don't know each other well, the relationships aren't stable (arguing every 3 days and breakup every week or so), there's no baby on the way. Thus, why the SUDDEN hurry?

I asked around and got collated the following reasons:

1. Managed to get a HDB unit which requires them to get married within the next three to six months (the hurry for flat? Too good to let go)
2. Age is catching up for the female/male, the NEED to get married is getting overwhelming
3. Friends around are getting married and the females felt left out when the other couples who were probably together for much shorter period are getting married

The above are the main reasons and none of it is about love. It makes me sad thinking that people only get married for all reasons except the love for each other. What do the vows mean then? If the marriage isn't due to deep love for each other and the want for being with each other for the rest of their lives? Shouldn't this be the main reason?

It doesn't matter if you need to apply for flat before proposal, nor the planning before everything is confirmed as long as the reason behind all these is the love for each other.

I don't mean that love should be measured by time but the sudden surge of getting married within 6 months or a year of knowing each other (yes, knowing each other from strangers to friends to lovers) is too far stretched. How can you love someone when the rs is full of problems? 因不瞭解而在一起，因瞭解而分開嗎？

I wouldn't want to do so. Marriage is for life, it should be taken seriously. Don't get married due to impulse, it's unfair to the other party and yourself. Don't hurt another person for your mistake.

For those who find this similar, think it over carefully. Are you willing to see the person for the next 50years? Can you stand the bad habits he/she has for the next 50years? If you can't, then don't go to the next step.

Be responsible my friends. Think.

Cruel to be kind

Sometimes one needs to be cruel to be kind. One day, just one day, you may understand the meaning behind.

Night out at LD

A promise, and so, I was back at my regular hangout. Of cos, I was there very late; after my work. Put on make up, contact lens & off I went at 11pm.

Reached there and being the usual anti-social as some may claim, I was sitting at the counter instead of joining them at the table (alright, it was because I wanna have my chance to sing).

Saw a few people whom I had never seen in years (3? 4?) and chatted a bit. Nothing much, just the usual 'how at you', 'why didn't you sit with us' conversation. Lazy to explain and this I say, "I'm anti-social. :)"

Organizer left awhile after and the rest followed. Weird I would say. Why is there a need to leave after the organizer has left? Is the organizer the only link for the rest of the people who appeared? *shrugs*

Anyway, it was a fun night; with my few favourite girls over there making fun of each other, doing up different hairstyles and appearance of a singer. Yup, a singer, someone who has his album sold and have fans, not to mention, a good voice. After listening to him, one would know what it means by professional. :)

Seldom hangout there due to my work, but to date, it remains my best place to relax.

See you soon, my fav hangout! :)

Silenced

Someone recommended this movie to me: Silenced/The Crucible/도가니. It is a Korean Movie which describes about multiple sexual and violence abuse of deaf students by the teachers. This is based on a true event that happened in one of the deaf schools in Korea back in the early 2000s.

I was warned to get ready tissue papers, but I did not expect the darkness and the heaviness of movie; I watched it before I zzz. This movie isn't for everyone. People who have been reading my blog probably knows that I worked as a sign language interpreter few years back and how close I am with the Deaf. This movie reminded me of the advantages that people took from the handicapped and how cruel and indifferent humans can be.

In the real events, the culprits were not punished, they were let off easily due to corruption from the police to the judges. Sounds ridiculous? It does, but it is very real.

We live in a (almost) corruption-free country and therefore, more protected against the dark side of humans. If such thing happened in Singapore, would it have gone unnoticed? Would the culprits be let of so easily with only probation? Probably not. We are very lucky to be born here, where a lot of things are well done and we are well protected.

It's good to know more about other countries; the happenings and the dark side of humans. This allow us to reflect and appreciate our government and the life we have. We are luckier than many others.

Watch this movie. It has affected the government in Korea and the case was reopened after 6 years. Though in the end, only two culprits were convicted, it's better than nothing. It awakened their citizens and made them reflect on the laws that put the handicapped at disadvantage.

In the movie, one of the deaf children mentioned that through this ordeal, it made them realise that they are no different from others; they have rights too.

Being handicapped do not demean their human rights. It definitely does not mean one can bully them and go scot-free.

By the way, a novel was out before this movie describing more detailed about the event. If you find this movie disturbing, you probably should not read the novel; the movie only described less than 1/3 of what the novel has written.

I would not recommend this movie to everyone but if you wish to watch; don't watch before bedtime cos it will set you thinking.

back again

Well, looked at my blog and realised I have not been blogging for more than a year (not this blog anyway). I used to have thoughts that I wanted to pen them down, however, it was usually in the wee hours when I was lying on my bed, having difficulties sleeping. It was a chore to get out of bed, on my computer, log in and type (okay, I was am lazy). Now that Blogger has come out with Iphone app, it is a breeze to keep my thoughts in my "online memory".

I probably would not be able to blog as much as before, but I will try. Still trying to figure out how the app works; heard reviews of people having difficulties loading their pictures in the correct section of their entries. Well, at least I am able to blog whenever I wish to! :)

Would not want to bog down this entry with paragraphs of my life in the past one year or so; just some bullet points for major changes:

• changed a job; got promoted
• workaholic
• travel more (not work!)
• peaceful with not-so-dramatic friends
• happy with my personal life

Overall, I think life is better. :) 

Travelled to a no. of places in the past year and a half, a kind of stress release for me. :) Some photos:

And oh! My sis got married last month (today is 1 July 2012)! It was a mixture of happiness and sadness. Happy because my sis has finally found the one and sad is because she is my little sis and she is married before I do! :(

I remember how I used to tell my friends that I wanted to get married by the age of 26 and have kids by the age of 28. Now, I am 29 years old and I do not wish to get married yet. I do not feel old (okay, sometimes I do when I meet new friends who tell me they are 22 years old and feel old *rolleyes*), and I feel that I have a lot more to achieve in life. Funny how your mindset changes as you age. :)

People around me are still finding their paths in life; some got attached after being lost for so long, some are back to single after realising marriage are not for them (yet), some are already having family planning. Perhaps there isn't any majority of my friends getting married, thus, there is no pressure on me (except from my mum of cos).

My work now leaves me little time for other things. I am always working and OT-ing and well, going overseas, I do not think I have time to plan for family. Of cos, I do wish to get married and have kids in the future, but perhaps not yet. :)

Then again, life is unpredictable, who knows, I may get married next year! In any case, I believe what will come, will come. As a friend's favourite quote, "Qui Sera Sera". :)

I am coming back. :)