some people may think that i am always emo.. due to the way i design my blog.. the songs i put.. the words i write..

well.. i am not..

i like to design blogs in a more.. hmmm.. alright.. emo way not because i am very emo.. but because such designs show your feelings..

its actually harder to design happy layouts (for me) and it hinders my writing..

my blog is mostly about thoughts.. deep thoughts..

i don usually blog about my daily life.. what i have bought today.. what i have eaten.. blah blah blah..

so.. such so-called emo layouts allow me to open my heart and blog what my thoughts are churning out..



just like i only blog when its late at night and i am alone..

cos thats when you are most relaxed.. your mind aren't disturbed by the television, traffic, work..

this is the time where you can sit down, and start thinking about.. everything in life.. =)



a friend msg me in fb the other day saying that she loved my blog.. love the way i write my blog.. my thoughts.. the words i use..

i am truely flattered..

surprised that there's still people who read my entries considering i don't update as much as before due to my heavy schedule..

in any case.. she made me write again.. i put in effort to blog again..

and not to let my thoughts wander and get lost on the way..

so thank you my friend, for that fb msg.. =)



i went up to esplanade roof top the other day.. and that was years since the last time i went up..

the feeling was different jus as the landscape was different..

it was.. empty then.. no bar/restaurant.. no artifical garden.. it was jus.. a plain roof top..

but it attracted lots of couples.. like it does now..

i look at the stage downstairs and memories came..

i was once in front of that stage.. with a boy.. a boy who took my heart away for the first time.. a boy i tot was the one.. a boy who i tot i can love forever..

a boy.. who broke my heart again n again till i couldnt believe in love anymore..

we held hands in front of the stage..

we held hands on the roof top..

we took photos..

i was smiling so sweetly that my eyes were visible..

that's simple happiness.. naive, innocent girl who believed she found her prince charming..


years later.. the girl stood at the same place.. without that smile.. that simple happiness..

now replaced is a bitter smile.. smiling at the memories she had as a young adult..

smiling at all the naive thoughts, all the ignorance, all the .. simplicity..



that's the down side of growing up.. you lose that simplicity.. whether you like it or not..

there's an amour in you.. that you use to protect yourself.. to guard from exposing too much of your inner self..

guard against heartbreak..


some say take the risk! life's too short for guarding!

some say, have a safe journey.. life's already tough as it is..


which one do you agree upon?





i am the latter trying to be the former.. you?