__ıмреяŦecтıy реяŦecт

2011-01-16T22:51:00.003+08:00

a new year has started.. a month of the new year has passed.. and how much has changed in your life?

is there any new resolutions that you have made for this year which you know you probably won't achieve or is there any new beginnings for this year that arised from the endings in the previous years?

i think i am kinda melachony today.. a friend is getting married.. the one who has always been skeptical about marriage.. who had ended relationships cos they were leading to marriage.. and now.. this friend is getting married and all excited about leading a new life with another person.. not to mention the first of the group..

its weird..

now that i am 28 years old.. i must admit that marriage should be next on the list.

but then again, how can you rush such things?

i have friends telling me that she is skeptical about relationships and people..

little trust in others..

and i was thinking, it's scary how much your friends' encounters can affect you..

there are people who are single and alone for the whole of their lives due to ugly encounters from their friends..

i hope i won't be like that..

i really hope so..

mum had told me not to get married too late.. please get married before 30.. but i told her, such things cant be rushed!

who knows, maybe i will only get married at 35?

i mean, i really dono..

to get married is a huge matter..

what kind of man do i want?

someone who loves me to the max? treats me like a princess?

someone romantic?

someone logical?

someone who can control me?

which is better? a romantic silly boy or a logical entertaining man?

they say follow your heart..

but is it always true?

i am not so sure..

after all the encounters and friends' experiences... i am cynical about heart.. the heart doesnt always lead you to the right path..

its good to listen to your brain at times..

how about you?

2010-12-13T21:18:00.001+08:00

"Are we born who we are, or do we make ourselves that way?"

2010-12-02T01:31:00.002+08:00

i keep having the same question posed to me, "haven't you thought of changing jobs?"

and this is usually after they commented about my workload..

my answer stays the same, "no".

maybe the workload is a lot.. maybe i have ugly customers at times..

perhaps my first love (of passion) isn't here..

but i love my job..

i really do.

i guess i am a workaholic.. i really can't stand slacking at work most of the time.. even half a day of slacking proved too much for me..

i need to do something.. and something different all the time.. i hate mundane work..

this job gives me the flexibility in work, yet disciplined enough for me not to relax too much..

there is enough control on my side for my own work, yet enough restriction to ensure i follow the basic objectives and rules..

there are lots of courses for me to enrich my knowledge (though there are SOME that are way TOO boring and waste of time)..

there is enough exposure for me to learn things from all fields and know people from all walks of life..

the pay is comfortable enough, though i wouldnt mind increment every now and then..

there is also career prospects as long as i am willing to fight for it..

most importantly, i have a fun group of colleagues who will help me when needed (though they can be irritating at times but then again, so do i!) and supervisors who will protect their subordinates..

all in all, i am in good hands.. =)

so nope, i don't intend to resign anytime soon (if there's no major changes in my life!)..

how about you? are you in good hands?

2010-11-22T01:42:00.011+08:00

officially one year older this week.. people have been asking me, how do i feel now that i am one year older?

my ans? nothing, just glad that i look younger than my actual age..

but as i lay on my bed, trying to get to zzz.. i thought about the qns again.. how do i really feel now that i am one year older?

i looked back at my years.. and saw the changes.. a friend say i am more mature now.. able to see through life and have learnt to let go of things and people..

but in actual fact, have i really seen through life? of people? do i let go easier now? or am i pretending that i do?

i can understand more of life now.. definitely.. i can understand some things are meant to be.. some aren't..

but do i really accept that explanation? that simple explanation that can lift a person so high up and so down below within seconds?

i dono.

i seriously don't.

朋友說我很瀟灑.. 很看得開..

我真的是嗎? 如果是, 為何我會在夜裡哭泣, 為了過去而哭泣?

there are so many people smiling and laughing all the time.. but are they really happy? or are they hiding their true feelings?

are they like me, only cry when the sky is dark and no one is around?

like me, who will hold on to the last moment, bottle things up till there's no more space except out?

is it healthy?

most say no. but who is to judge?

do those people who show their emotions on their faces all the time healthy? cry all the time in public healthy?

*shrugs*

this trait is something that never change through the years.. even when i am older now, i still cry only when no one is around (if i can help it)..

i am still the kind who will laugh and smile on the outside but cry inside..

the one who will keep things within till it reaches the limit..

only one thing has changed.. i am able to accept reality more readily now.. i am able to accept that simple explanation mentioned earlier..

but it takes time..

how long? i dono. depends i guess.

kinda down these days due to a close friend who had her heart broken.. by a guy she never expect to fall but fell so deeply..

she said this, "love deep, gave all.. hurt deep, lost all.."

and my heart ached.. cos it's so true.. simple truth..

she really tried to let go.. i can see that.. but when night falls, her tears start flowing and insomnia follows..

for 2 months plus, that's her life.. and finally, her body gave way..

i felt sad for her.. i wish i can give her a miracle pill so that she will be happy again.. but i cant..

i also cant tell her that miracle will happen cos it won't..

as a friend, i can only hug her, dry her tears, drink with her, shop with her and advise her..

but a woman myself, i know.. it's not that easy, esp for ladies..

she couldnt stop herself from caring for him.. couldnt stop herself from loving him though she knows he no longer have feelings for her..

she laughs and smiles when we are around.. but when night falls and everyone else has left, she looks at me and i can see the sadness in her..

and i understand the pain and sadness.. the kind where you'd rather you have died or lost memories.. hurt so deeply that you'd wish you have never met that person, never been with that person..

rather not have had any hopes right from the start..

*sighs*

and so.. would you rather have loved and lost or never to have loved before?

2010-11-08T14:26:00.004+08:00

got a surprise call last night.. made me smile..

a special friend called.. a friend whom i have known since i was 14 years old.. a friend whom always have a special place in my heart..

this friend, A.. seldom calls me.. only once or twice a year.. but one of the calls would always be during my birthday period..

a call to show that i am being remembered.. =)

our calls arent always long, but always full of laughter and bickering (in a good way).. and underneath all these, is care and concern for each other..

both parties smiled.. a true smile..

thats why they always say, distance doesn't affect friendship cos true friendship doesn't depend on the no. of meetups nor phonecalls and definitely not gossiping..

true friendship is the occassional msgs/calls of concern.. the warmth in your heart when you receive the other party's news..

i am indeed lucky, cos i have such friends in my life.. not one, not two.. but a group of angels.. caring for me, separately, in their own ways..

all these angels.. become my friends in different ways.. from school, from forums, from random surfing of net, from work, through friends..

but they all came to the same point: they gotta know me.. know me well enough to see the true me..

know everything about me and love me just the same..

over the years, some left the country.. some got attached.. some focused on their careers.. some got other committments..

but they never forget about me..

no matter how rare our contact are.. friendship stay.. and that's the heartwarming part..

one look and you know, they are always there and will always be there..

thank you my angels..

2010-10-30T20:10:00.002+08:00

我们结婚吧! (o^^o)

does it work for you? :D

2010-10-15T21:59:00.002+08:00

小情歌-苏打绿
词曲:吴青峰

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐
当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合
当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合
当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

2010-10-12T19:08:00.004+08:00

很偶然的讀到這篇報章.. 覺得很有意思..它是這麼說的：

“今天放下, 日後才有可能再提起。。＂

不肯放下，不能得救! 對於很多人來說，人生就是有很多不能放下的人與事。然而，人生百事，放在長一點的時間，以及大一點的空間去想，唯有放下，才有日後再提起的可能。學習先放下，是一門學問啊！

你學會了嗎?

2010-10-08T21:57:00.002+08:00

Credits to: Yahoo! News Singapore

WASHINGTON (AFP) - – Dieters looking to shed more fat and feel less hungry while they do it may benefit from a few more hours in bed, according to a new study.

Dieters lost the same amount of weight whether they slept for a full night or fewer hours, but those who got more sleep lost more fat and they also felt less hungry while awake, according to the study, which appears in the October 5 issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine.

"If your goal is to lose fat, skipping sleep is like poking sticks in your bicycle wheels," said Plamen Penev, an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Chicago and the director of the study.

"Cutting back on sleep, a behavior that is ubiquitous in modern society, appears to compromise efforts to lose fat through dieting. In our study it reduced fat loss by 55 percent," Penev added.

The study, undertaken by the University of Chicago's General Clinical Resource Center, tracked 10 overweight but healthy volunteers aged 35 to 49.

The participants had body mass indexes ranging from 25, which is considered overweight, to 32, which is considered obese.

Each ate a diet designed to give them 90 percent of the calories they needed to maintain their weight without exercise and then spent 14 days getting up to 8.5 hours of sleep and another 14 days getting up to 5.5 hours of sleep.

The difference between the two periods was pronounced.

When the dieters got up to 8.5 hours of sleep a day, more than half of the weight they lost was fat. When they were sleeping just 5.5 hours a day, only one-fourth of the weight loss was fat with the rest being mostly muscle tissue.

And getting less sleep also made it harder to diet, as the levels of ghrelin, a hormone that triggers hunger, increased when the volunteers were sleeping fewer hours.

The strictly controlled diets available to the participants meant they had no access to additional food even when their lack of sleep made them hungrier.

But that would not be the case for real-world dieters, who could further dent their chances of shedding fat by failing to sleep enough, feeling more hungry and eating additional calories.

Penev said the message of the study was clear.

"For the first time, we have evidence that the amount of sleep makes a big difference on the results of dietary intervention," he said.

"One should not ignore the way they sleep when going on a diet. Obtaining adequate sleep may enhance the beneficial effects of a diet."

2010-10-06T11:58:00.001+08:00

Courtesy from my friend (a guy of cos)

What women say
And what they MEAN

#1. “Fine”
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.

#2. “Five Minutes”
If she is getting dressed,
this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just
been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

#3. “Nothing”
This is the calm before the storm. This means
something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end with fine.

#4. “Go Ahead”
This is a dare, not
permission. Don’t do it.

#5. “Loud Sigh”
This is actually a word but
is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she
thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of
nothing.)

#6. “That’s Okay”
This is one of the most dangerous statements
a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

#7. “Thanks”
A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say “you’re
welcome”. (I want to add in a clause here – this is true, unless she says
“Thanks a lot” – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT
say “you’re welcome” … that will bring on ‘whatever’).

#8. “Whatever”
Is a women’s way of saying F-YOU!

#9. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it”
Another dangerous statement, meaning you knew it had to be done but
you were lazy to do it and had to wait till i came home to do it. Men should
automatically know it has to be done, also, this is something that a woman has
told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later
result in a man asking ‘what’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

tale spinners

2010-10-04T02:56:00.008+08:00

to you:

you are a pathetic bitch.

from both of us. =)

stalkers

2010-10-01T20:49:00.005+08:00

i have stalkers in my life, and professional sabotagers who will try all ways and means to ruin my life..

of cos, i already know who they are and how they do things..

i really wonder, should i be honoured or insulted that some people are SOOOOOO interested in my life (or the one they created)?

i really wish to look for them and ask them straight in the face, what kind of satisfaction do they get out of spinning tales?

do they have the ambition to become scriptwriters in Mediacorp or something?

well, if their aim is to simply crush me, make me cry, ruin all my relationships with everyone..

then i am sorry to say, that's not gonna happen.

If whoever listened to those tales and actually doubt me, it only shows how much they know me, how much they trust me.

and if trust isn't there, what's the point of continuing being friends yea?

To the stalkers + tale spinners:

i am not the weak little girl from before.

i am not gonna cry and breakdown and make a big scene.

i will just walk away and let you win.

and i will thank you for letting me see who are true to me.

and it makes me laugh cos you guys are so pathetic..

you can only hide in a corner, sending mysterious smses, spinning tales behind the monitor and gossiping behind other people's back.

you have no courage nor integrity to speak of.

i despise you.

and i wish you good life, if you will ever have any. *smirks*

working

2010-09-27T23:33:00.004+08:00

it's been a horrible month.. work, work, and more work..

working till wee hours rushing for events and events..

auditors driving me crazy with all the accounts questioning..

all the necessary entertaining to "clients"..

all the smiling and nodding.. =.=

my boss asked me this one night after our meeting.. (it was already midnight.. ):

"do you regret working here?"

and to my own surprise, i asked myself and the answer was no (and still no)..

yes, this job is tedious.. and people who cared about me have been complaining they don't get to see me often..

even my own colleagues from other departments don't get to see me!

i am often working from early mornings till late nights.. when i reach home, the lights are off and everyone is asleep..

my weekends are often burnt.. with events and meetings and all the ad-hoc activities needed..

i am always tired and i am starting to have white hair (yes and not just one or two strands, sadly..)

my dark rings are darker than before and well, my complexion kinda suffered..

i don't go out much often and my social life is down to almost zero..

but.. i still don't regret changing my job to this current company..

i like to OT in the office with the others.. and joke around.. chatting while working..

i like to stay in the office with piles of papers on my desk and tons of emails to clear..

i like to go for quick break and then come back to the office to rush work..

i like to work under pressure..

this place appreciates people who can work.. who are hardworking..

this place has great colleagues and bosses..

of cos, there are black sheeps everywhere and this place is no different..

but there are tons of pure white sheeps who can control the black ones..

i learnt to be tougher..

i learnt to let go..

i learnt to be patient..

i learnt to appreciate..

i learnt to trust..

i learnt to be appreciated (and i love that feeling)..

i learnt to be true to myself..

i learnt to be flexible..

and most importantly, i learnt that it is okay to be different, to be unqiue, to be imperfect..

and so, i learnt to love myself more.. =)

i also learnt that love is in all forms.. and that sometimes, love means letting go..

weird to learn that at work huh?

but i learnt it.. through colleagues.. and i saw how powerful love can be..

how it make and break a person..

and all kinds of love.. can be seen at work..

between friends, family, lovers, parents and their children..

all of these, seen and experienced at work..

so why should i regret working here?

yes, it took away my time.. and maybe much more..

but what i learnt here is enough to compensate for what i have lost..

i can't say i love my job and i definitely grumble at times..

but regret? Nah.

i stilll have a long way to go here.. and i look forward to it. =)

how much have you learnt at your workplace?

2010-09-25T11:12:00.007+08:00

I am going to have a movie marathon this weekend..

There’s sooo many movies I wanna watch!

I think I will watch like 2 movies a day? Will take me 3 days to finish all these movies!

Maybe I should start with one tonight after work. Hmmm..

However, I am the kind of person who doesn’t watch cartoons and comedies on weekends, and [Chen Zhen] will most probably be full house everywhere again..

So i guess my choice will be either Wall Street or Charlie St Cloud..

Okay! These will be my first 2 movies this week then!

Charlie, here i come! :D

update: in the end, i never got to watch any movie.. =.= and oh! i think i wanna watch buried and devil! looked exciting! :D

love + marriage

2010-09-24T22:14:00.006+08:00

mum asked me the other day, when do i intend to get married..

i replied, '3 years' time' and she exclaimed, 'you intend to get married at 30?'

i said yes. very calmly.

well, she wasn't very pleased with my answer, she wanted me to get married by 29 latest.

i had dreamt of getting married to my first love at the age of 25 and have babies at 27.

it didn't happen of cos.

as i reached 25, i didn't want to get married so soon anymore, i wanted to work and gain experiences in life.

i thought, well, i will get married at 27 and have babies at 29 then.. not too late... righhhtttt?

i am 27 now and i am in no hurry to settle down.

why so?

i can't give a definite answer but i think marriage at young age isn't a wise choice cos people change, environment changes, you change, so do i.

what you like at 20 (probably) isn't gonna be what you like at 25 and what you want at 25 may not be what you want at 30.

most people settle down at 30, and when i say settle down, it doesnt mean marriage. it means ýour thinking, your life, the path you intend to choose.

anyone younger than 25 years old, reading this will probably disagree but let's read again in 5 years' time and see if it stays true.

i didn't believe that when i was younger, and i isn't the kind who changes her preferences easily. but i did, i changed, and so did most of my friends.

which also explains why most relationships at young age didn't last (i said MOST, not ALL).

well, there's nothing wrong or right, it's just change. a different taste and preference as you are exposed more to the external factors.

when i settle down, i want it to be eternity.

the person i choose to marry will be the one i will love more everyday, more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

i can't promise i will love him as much as he love me, but love is never about comparison, is it?

maybe the one i settle down will be the one i love more, maybe he will be the one who loves me more..

but as long as the love is balanced, it's okay.

one should learn to be contented..

so if you have found the person you wish to settle down with (seriously).. hold onto it and don't let go.. always appreciates, cherishes, surprises, trust and be honest to him/her..

true love is like crystal.. transparent..

a quote to share with all of you reading now:

"To find someone who will love you for 『no reason』, and to shower that person with 『reasons』, that is the ultimate 『happiness』."

2010-09-14T01:06:00.001+08:00

found out something that didn't make me happy..

in fact, it upsetted me so much i was trembling..

i chose not to do anything..

no confrontation, no arguing, no tears, nothing..

guess i have learnt to cool myself down so that i won't make matters worse..

i hope i can keep my cool long enough to talk reasonably and nicely..

i certainly hope i can do that.

*fingers crossed*

2010-09-12T21:01:00.000+08:00

我喜歡，不我愛

作詞：嚴爵
作曲：嚴爵

我喜歡妳的眼看著我的眼
我喜歡妳的臉貼著我的臉

我喜歡妳的手牽著我的手
我喜歡妳的口吻著我的口
時間在改變妳不要改變

因為我很愛妳不想要妳放棄愛情
尤其這段得來不易
我愛妳真的是很愛妳所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去

時間在改變妳不要改變

因為我很愛妳不想要妳放棄愛情
轉載來自 ※Mojim.com　魔鏡歌詞網
尤其這段得來不易
我愛妳真的是很愛妳所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去

因為我很愛妳不想要妳放棄愛情
尤其這段得來不易
我愛妳真的是很愛妳所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去

因為我很愛妳不想要妳放棄愛情
尤其這段得來不易
我愛妳真的是很愛妳所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去

2010-09-11T23:55:00.002+08:00

Need You Now
Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now

2010-09-10T12:53:00.001+08:00

Taking a trip down memory lane
Things have changed One thing remains
That they will always have each other
And even though those days have gone
They know here is where they belong
Theres some kinda magic in the air

Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And theyre learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Holding her close he leading the way
Out at the park Enjoying the Day
And you can tell theyll be ok
Feel the warmth
That only summer breezes can bring
Sweet little notes of spring begin
Nothing to fear

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And theyre learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me

Taking one step at a time
Walking hand in hand
1 2 3 4
Cheek to cheek
And theyre learning How to do that dance
Let this love be forever more they say
I wish for this, to be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
To be true for you and me
You and me
You and me

2010-09-09T21:52:00.010+08:00

a friend posted this on fb:

"isn't it funny how fragile relationships are? So easily formed just as easily broken."

and then, when i was watching channel 8 drama, 'Family Court', one of the female leads said this,

"一个人的真心可以维持多久？如果可以永久不变的话，那该有多好。。"

got my ever-complicated mind thinking, change is the only constant.

when i post the above chinese quote of sort to my fb, a conversation started:

friend: if it's real, then it will not change =)

me: if that's the case, why would there by breakups?

friend: not real enough not to change? just as there is love at 1st sight, there's breakups

me: so means if there's breakups, it isn't real enough?

friend: i will say it's complicated

friend: anyway it's true that love is complicated. one may not necessary marry the person one loves alot.

me: love is simple, relationships are not.. like a quote i have seen, it wrote, "Love is unconditional, relationships are not." so usually its the relationship that make love complicated, not love itself..

i really do think so.. love is simple.. you love me + i love you = us in love

but relationship? not so clearcut.

other than love, it needs trust, transparency, compromise, support, communication, honesty.

short of any one, the relationship wont last (not a lifetime anyway), wont be healthy.

i always believe that love can change a person.. i've seen it, i've experienced it.. but now, though i believe love can change a person, the love must be deep enough.. where the love for the other party is deeper than the love for oneself.. only then, will change occur..

i have friends regretting after their partners really left them (okay, usually guys who regret and girls who left).. as in, they aren't turning back.. and they realise, they lost someone precious..

try ways and means to have them back.. but most of the time, failed.. why?

cos those who decided to leave had been hurt badly and are too afraid to try again.. cos they can't bear the pain again..

i had seen my friends so upset.. singing songs that reflect their stupidity in hurting the girl so much, for causing so much insecurity that the girl finally decided to leave..

and frankly speaking, i had mixed emotions.. i felt sad for them cos they really do love their partners.. and really wanna spend the rest of their lives with the one..

however, i wanna curse them for crying over spilled milk.. why din they realise the end when there's still chance to salvage? why did they have to wait till its too late before they realise what they had done?

if i am the girl's friend, i would do the same - ask her to leave him.

if i am the boy's friend, i would ask the girl to give him another chance.. to try one last time..

see? different viewpoints from different roles..

in the chinese drama i'd seen, the female lead said something like, everyone has lots of principles to follow, strict methods and lots of big theories but when the thing happened to them, it's a total different story..

so true.

how many times do we have great advices for our friends and how many times do we really listen to our own advices?

do you?

i don't.

maybe i have seen so many so-called strong relationships ending, and people going back together for all the wrong reasons, thus, i am kinda skeptical..

of cos, i have seen happy couples, happily married for years and still so in love with each other.. still feel so completely into each other.. the fire, the sparks, never fade.. but those are rare cases..

i am still naive when it comes to relationships, cos i still believe in fairytale love.. i really do.

i still believe my prince charming will come and we will live happily forever (if there's eternity)..

we will still hold each other's hands when we are 80, still complement each other, still find each other attractive, so fall in love with each other again and again everyday.. the soul mates, the best friends.. still enjoy each other's company.. still say 'i love you' when wake up and kiss goodnight at the end of the day..

this is my ideal love story..

but like my friend said, people don't always marry the one they love most..

anyway, i won't know if my love story is a fairytale one till well, i die cos before that, anything can happen.. *shrugs*

how about you?

do you believe in fairytale love?

2010-08-30T15:46:00.008+08:00

with my busy schedule, i haven't had a chance to really meet up with friends or pamper myself..

and so, with the national day and syog over (let's not talk about the upcoming events), i have some time to browse through the internet and window-shop (i had not bought any of those seen YET!) :D

1)Iphone Casing

since i got my iphone, i had been buying lots of hp casings with my latest edition of:

but my most loved casing is still:

I still intend to buy some more, when there's new additions.. at the moment, i am putting a ban on myself for iphone casings.. cos I already have 6 iphone casings, not to mention the number of times i went to do gmask for my phone.. =X

2) Cameras

well, those who saw my fb album know that i have a thing for toy cameras (you may read abt my collection here).

well, i haven't been buying any since my last edition of:

now my hands are itching for new toy cameras again.. and i saw quite a few online yesterday.. ain't sure which one to get though cos I haven't really research on them..

so now i am going to stock up films instead for my Polaroid cameras..

intend to get these few:

gonna cost a bomb for these, which would be about $70 or more.. (-__-||)

so i am still contemplating.. may eliminate a few.. haha

other than these, i am also browsing for clothes for myself, clothes for buttons and rach, wigs etc..

haha.. yup.. i am also into wigs.. i have:

a long hair wig
a short hair wig
1 choco kawaii fringe wig
1 black sweet fringe wig
1 hair bun..

well.. i love the fringe best.. cos it's easy to wear and natural.. the bun is harder to deal with, partly because my hair isn't that long and it's layered.. hard to keep it neat.. haha..

wore the fringe to Jay's concert last month, from long fringe to short:

looks natural doesn't it? the only downside was the shade..

i bought a choco shade and it was too light for my hair. Thus, i bought a second one which is black..

haven't try it though, considering i never go out for the past month.. haha..

may try it on next month when i have a chance to go out!

well.. i wonder is it due to my age or my work nature, i prefer staying at home than going out.. watching dramas, playing fb.. or just lie on bed and enjoy the silence..

still go out once in a while, still love dolling up.. but it's a different like.. this kind of like is more of an appreciation rather than .. i can't find the word for it.. play? attention?

walking along the streets, i appreciate the safe country that allows us to walk anywhere we like.. the stretch of Orchard Road with tons and tons of things to buy.. friends and family to chit chat with.. and more..

didn't really appreciate those in the past.. maybe cos i was still young, took things for granted.. but now, after i had seen the different side of the country, the efforts made to have what we have now.. i deeply appreciates it.. of cos, there's always room for improvement.. but at the moment, we ain't that bad.. don't you think so? =)

2010-08-30T12:40:00.003+08:00

When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.
~Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

2010-08-28T19:37:00.002+08:00

finally finished my blog layout.. after almost 2 months i guess?

unlike the last layout, my profile and links aren't shown outright.. you gotta click the 4 icons to navigate:

well, not entirely complete cos there are still things i wish to add but not sure where to.. lol..

for now, i hope this new layout doesnt look emo anymore!

2010-08-13T00:50:00.002+08:00

Browsing through FB and saw this post by a girl friend..

to all the girls out there:

我知道妳很好，但是妳可以不必那麼偉大
by Sheron Lee

請注意，即使妳無時無刻都告訴自己「愛情是信任」，妳相信他真的有多愛妳，妳真的認為這一切都是妳想太多，妳真不應該無理取鬧。妳要尊重他，尊重他的隱私，尊重他的前女友，尊重他的女性朋友，尊重那些莫名其妙的電話、簡訊、郵件、邀約，尊重他也擁有個人自由、憲法保障的人權、人生而平等的自由，與他所謂的空間，那麼，我想請問妳，這位愛裝大方的女人：「當妳尊重了別人，別人有尊重過妳嗎？」

如果他真的夠尊重你，覺得妳真的夠重要，為什麼寧可要妳委屈難過猜疑不安，也不願意犧牲那些前女友、那些女人，來讓一個他口中所謂真正愛的女人覺得心安？

如果他真的夠愛妳，為什麼他寧可跟那些他口中所謂不愛、不喜歡的女人維持讓妳不舒服的關係，而不願意讓妳感覺舒服？

如果他真的覺得妳很重要，又何必浪費時間精力去維繫那些他口中所謂不那麼重要的友誼？

親愛的，我們都曾經試著當一個好女人，當一個自認為很大方的好女人，但是上帝有曾告訴過我們，身為好女人就一定上的了天堂，當一個裝大方的女人就能永遠幸福快樂嗎？還是這個社會告訴我們，當個好女人一定有善報，只要我們願意裝大方釋出善意，那些壞女人就不會欺負我們？或者是我們的人生經驗告訴我們，當一個好女人一定比較爽快，沒事裝裝大方就會活的比較痛快？

如果不是，那麼，請立刻清醒。

我知道，妳心地善良，心胸寬大，成熟明事理，妳覺得自己不再是小女生，不應該整天哭哭啼啼愛靠夭愛懷疑愛亂想，妳知道要有一段健康的感情，妳必須懂得信任與尊重，妳當然曉得妳的男友很愛妳，只是因為他太好，所以那些蒼蠅女人會喜歡他。

但是妳並不知道，當妳試著相信他前女友真的只把他當朋友，他們後來就真的不只是朋友。他真的只是好心體貼接送那些女生，但後來就只會更加好心體貼接送她回來。他真的只是跟前前女友吃飯聊天，後來就一定不只是吃飯聊天。他只是收到簡訊接到電話，但後來就不只簡訊和電話。不要問我為什麼知道，學校沒有教，報紙沒有寫，至少妳一定有聽過、看過，不然也用膝蓋想過。這樣的社會案件層不出窮，信任即使說的冠冕堂皇，它還是脆弱的不堪一擊。

妳又如何可以說服自己、委屈自己、隱藏自己，而去做一個裝大方的女人？

這些年來，感情路上走過來的感觸，我真的希望有些道理不需要浪費妳的光陰最後才明瞭。所以親愛的，請記得無時無刻正視自己的需求。如果任何一個人、一段感情必須讓妳委曲求全、漠視自己的需求、隱藏自己的不快，那麼請相信，那絕對不是妳的真愛。

我知道妳很好，但是妳可以不必那麼偉大。

妳不用做個小氣的女人，妳也不用在男人面前裝作是個大方的女人。任何一段有益身心的感情應該讓妳更愛自己，讓自己更快樂，變的更好。而不是讓你忘了自己的需要，去訂做成一個他需要的、完美的女人。

如果連妳都不尊重自己，妳還希望別人如何尊重妳？

如果連妳都不愛自己了，妳又怎麼能奢望別人能愛妳？

更重要的是，若他真的夠愛妳，

他第一個該尊重的，應該是「妳」。

2010-08-09T00:55:00.005+08:00

(NOTE: the below post has nothing to do with my personal life.. and nope, i am not being emo when i was writing the entry.. it's just random)

sometimes i wonder.. what does it mean to be a couple? just holding hands, hang out? or is there more?

why do you want to be with a particular someone?

for companionship?

for fun?

for all the intimate things that you can do together?

or is it for love?

when you lose someone, you felt the heartache, you cried, felt empty etc etc.. is it cos you still love him/her or cos you dont wish to be the one losing?

is it because you are too used to having that particular person or because you can't stand loneliness?

how would you know?

seriously, i have no answer to that..

i used to think that people get together because of love and break up because there's no more love..

but as i grow older, i realise that's not true..

there's so much more to consider than just feelings..

there's 1001 reasons to be together and 1001 to break up..

for whatever reason, i hope it's worth it..

cos sometimes, once you lose it, you lose it forever..

so grab hold tight to the one you feel is worth fighting for..

2010-07-24T19:49:00.001+08:00

歌曲: 梁靜茹 - 給未來的自己
专辑: 崇拜
年份: 2007
公司: 相信音乐
MV导演: 黄中平

＊前奏＊

站在狂風的天台一望無際
這一座孤獨的城市
在天空與高樓交接的盡頭
誰追尋空曠的自由

陽光覆滿這一刻寧靜的我
隔絕了喧囂和冷漠
川流不息的人遊蕩在街頭
誰能聽見誰的寂寞

找一個人惺惺相惜找一顆心心心相印
在這個宇宙我是獨一無二沒人能取代

不管怎樣怎樣都會受傷
傷了又怎樣至少我很堅強我很坦蕩

間奏

夜幕籠罩燦爛的一片燈海
多少人多少種無奈
在星光裡遺忘昨天的傷害
一覺醒來還有期待

我不放棄愛的勇氣我不懷疑會有真心
我要握住一個最美的夢給未來的自己

一天一天一天推翻一天堅持的信仰
我會記住自己今天的模樣

有一個人惺惺相惜有一顆心心心相印
拋開過去我想認真去追尋未來的自己
不管怎樣怎樣都會受傷
傷了又怎樣至少我很堅強我很坦蕩

間奏

我不放棄愛的勇氣我不懷疑會有真心
我要握住一個最美的夢給未來的自己
不管怎樣怎樣都會受傷
傷了又怎樣至少我很堅強我很坦蕩

未來的你會懂我的瘋狂

所以，我亲爱的朋友，不要放弃爱情。。

2010-07-23T15:05:00.001+08:00

layout is almost done.. now left is the javascript-ing.. lol

2010-07-18T14:33:00.001+08:00

decided.. tonight, i shall start on my new blog layout!

jia you angela! :D

2010-07-10T22:26:00.002+08:00

its time to change my layout..

gonna need a few days to get inspiration and start doing..

my current layout (which is one of my fav layouts that i had done) is too grey.. giving people an impression that this is an emo blog (which it isnt cos blogging about inner thoughts do not mean emo.. just that i don't have the habit of blogging about what i eat, where i went etc etc.. *rolleyes*) and its starting to irk me..

i don't understand why blogging about thoughts or questions would be emo.. cos my blog entries are random and often do not link to me (how many times must i repeat that??)..

but somehow, people just link them to me..

maybe some people love to have their lives drama-like but i dont..

=.=

my next layout will most probably be of many colors or at least white background..

let's wait and see.. *winks*

2010-06-28T13:22:00.010+08:00

i really love the song playing in my blog.. 情歌 by Fish Leong.. which means love song..

the tune and melody makes you sad.. but not heartbroken sadness..

it's more of a pity sadness.. that a relationship ended (for whatever reason)..

that a relationship had ended but you will always remember the fond memories between you and him/her..

sometimes.. a relationship ends not cos there's no more love.. but cos, love is the only thing that's left in the relationship..

and as cliché as it may sound, sometimes love just ain't enough.. it's true and you can't deny it (for those who had been through heartbreaks for all reasons but no love..

it's sad.. cos there's nothing you can do.. there's nothing love can do to salvage the relationship..

sad cos you were so happy then.. both of you..

but things change.. everything change except the love.. and love itself can't sustain the relationship..

and when i say everything, it's really everything.. like trust, security, everything..

it comes to a point where love for each other brings nothing but sadness, unhappiness, hurt..

and the only way to make each other happy is to leave..

a painful but only viable solution (in most cases)..

i believe most who read my blog understand this..

(cos well, young people will find my blog boring.. lol)

the kind of beyond-your-control feeling..

the kind of struggle..

you don't wish to end, but there's nothing much you can do..

cos you don't wish to make each other suffer anymore..

its sad.. and whenever you look back at those memories, this sadness will follow..

a beautiful start without a beautiful end..

guess that's part of life..

there can't be gardens with beautiful flowers and butterflies..

even the day has to give way to night and spring to winter..

so is happiness to sadness..

but such sadness will come with a smile while tears flow down..

contradicting emotions.. just like most big decisions in our lives.. *smiles*

found the English and Hanyu Pinyin translation for this song.. change a bit of the English translation though (cos it sounds weird)..

Credits to:　xoxoxobexoxoxo from

Artist: 梁靜茹 Liang Jing Ru
Fish Leong

Song: 情歌 Qing Ge
Love Song

時光是琥珀
shi guang shi hu po
Time is drops of tears

淚一滴滴
lei yi di di
being locked

被反鎖
bei fan suo
in an amber.

情書再不朽
qing shu zai bu xiu
No matter how immortal the love letters are,

也磨成沙漏
ye mo cheng sha luo
it'll still grinded into sand, leaking away.

青春的上游
qing chun de shang you
On the top of youthfulness,

白雲飛走
bai yun fei zou
white clouds are flying pass

蒼狗與海鷗
cang gou yu hai ou
turning into dogs and seagulls.

閃過的念頭
shan guo de nian tou
These flashy thoughts

潺潺的溜走
chan chan de liu zou
are slipping away.

命運好幽默
ming yun hao you mo
Fate is very humorous,

讓愛的人都沉默
rang ai de ren dou chen mo
It makes people in love silent

一整個宇宙
yi zheng ge yu zhou
(and) willing to trade in the universe

換一顆紅豆
huan yi ke hong dou
for a red bean.

回憶如困獸
hui yi ru kun shou
Memories is like a monster

寂寞太久
ji mo tai jiu
that'll eventually became gentle

而漸漸溫柔
er jian jian wen rou
from being lonely for a long time.

放開了拳頭
fang kai le quan tou
Letting go of (it's) fist,

反而更自由
fan er geng zi you
(it feels) much freer.

慢動作
man dong zuo
In slow motion

繾綣膠捲
qian juan jiao juan
attracting,

重播默片
chong bo mo pian
(and) replaying the silent film,

定格一瞬間
ding ge yi shun jian
(I've) stopped for a moment.

我們在告別的演唱會
wo men zai gao bie de yan chang hui
In our farewell concert,

說好不再見
shuo hao bu zai jian
(we've) promised not to meet again.

你寫給我
ni xie gei wo
You wrote me

我的第一首歌
wo de di yi shou ge
my first song.

你和我十指緊扣
ni he wo shi zhi jin kou
You and I were hand in hand
默寫前奏 mo xie qian zou
(and) writing the prelude from (our) memory.

可是那然後呢
ke shi na ran hou ne
But what then?

還好我有
hai hao wo you
At least I still have

我這一首情歌
wo zhe yi shou qing ge
this love song.

輕輕的輕輕哼著
qing qing de qing qing heng zhe
Lightly humming,
哭著笑著我的
ku zhe xiao zhe wo de
crying and smiling at my

天長地久
tian chang di jiu
eternity.

命運好幽默
ming yun hao you mo
Fate is very humorous,

讓愛的人都沉默
rang ai de ren dou chen mo
It makes people in love silent

一整個宇宙
yi zheng ge yu zhou
(and) willing to trade in the universe

換一顆紅豆
huan yi ke hong dou
for a red bean.

回憶如困獸
hui yi ru kun shou
Memories is like a monster

寂寞太久
ji mo tai jiu
that'll eventually became gentle

而漸漸溫柔
er jian jian wen rou
from being lonely for a long time.

放開了拳頭
fang kai le quan tou
Letting go of (it's) fist,

反而更自由
fan er geng zi you
(it feels) much freer.

長鏡頭
chang jin tou
The long camera shot

越拉越遠
yue la yue yuan
is pulling further and further,

越來越遠
yue lai yue yuan
further and further.

事隔好幾年
shi ge hao ji nian
After a couple years from this,

我們在
wo men zai
we are at

懷念的演唱會
huai nian de yan chang hui
(our) memorable concert

禮貌的吻別
li mao de wen bie
politely kissing good bye.

你寫給我
ni xie gei wo
You wrote me

我的第一首歌
wo de di yi shou ge
my first song.

你和我十指緊扣
ni he wo shi zhi jin kou
You and I were hand in hand

默寫前奏
mo xie qian zou
(and) writing the prelude from (our) memory.

可是那然後呢
ke shi na ran hou ne
But what then?

還好我有
hai hao wo you
At least I still have

我這一首情歌
wo zhe yi shou qing ge
this love song

輕輕的輕輕哼著
qing qing de qing qing heng zhe
Lightly humming,

哭著笑著我的
ku zhe xiao zhe wo de
crying and smiling at my

天長地久
tian chang di jiu
eternity.

陪我唱歌
pei wo chang ge
Sing with me

清唱你的情歌
qing chang ni de qing ge
Sing acapella to your love song

捨不得短短副歌
she bu de duan duan fu ge
(I) don't want the short chorus to end.

心還熱著
xin hai re zhe
My heart is still hot,

也該告一段落
ye gai gao yi duan luo
but it should come to an end.

還好我有
hai hao wo you
At least I still have

我下一首情歌
wo xia yi shou qing ge
my next love song.

生命宛如靜靜的
sheng ming wan ru jing jing de
Life is like a calm river

相擁的河永遠
xiang yong de he yong yuan
embracing each other for

天長地久
tian chang di jiu
eternity.

2010-06-27T22:11:00.001+08:00

went to work at a familiar area.. and i told my colleague that i dislike that area.. cos people who had hurt me live there.. not only one, but several..

and she said, next time, when i make friends or get husband, make sure they don live in that area..

cos it apparently is a cursed place ffor me..

haha..

nice theory..

that area was when i first had my heart taken away.. got my heart broken, trust betrayed.. most of my first were there..

i rem when i cried very badly when i was told that my love (then) was moving to that area..

crying hysterically, confirmed that our relationship would be affected once he moved there.. he would break my heart..

and i rem he looking at me, assuring me it's just a place.. and things would not change..

sweet him, as always..

i guessed he must be thinking i was a silly girl then, crying so badly over an area..

haha..

but we split up less than a year after he moved..

*shrugs*

its funny how some things affect you in a way where there's no explanation and no one could understand..

like my gf, she doesnt take beef, not cos of religion but rather cos she is very sure that eating beef gives her bad luck..

and it had proven right every time..

is it in the mind or ?

i dono cos i myself have weird belief too (as mentioned above)..

of cos, rational thinking would tell you it's all coincidence..

but there's so many things on earth that have no explanation..

how can one be sure that it's just coincidence?

i dono, i'd rather not take the risk..

how about you?

2010-06-25T17:54:00.003+08:00

through out the years of your life, which is the most fond memory?

2010-06-19T00:19:00.004+08:00

attended a 2-day course on Enhancing Intellectual, Emotional & Social Wellness for Successful Life & Work @ Civil Service College by Richard Lim, a psychotherapist..

It was intersting and very relevant.. I learnt that guys aren't that emotional due to the emotional part of the brain (center part) aren't activated.. and therefore, they are usually incapable to reading emotions on other people.. so it aint that they are insensitive but rather, their brain couldnt read the emotions written on the face..

of cos, this is a generalisation.. since over the centuries, there had been countless evolutions and nowadays, there are alot of SNAGs..

anyway.. another thing i learnt was this: Six Key Principles of Emotional Wellness

Principle 1: Emotional is Information

Principle 2: Ignoring Emotions doesn't work

Suppressing emotions may end up making us less capable of remembering information.

It seems that emotional suppression takes energy and attention that otherwise could be used in listening to and processing information.

Principle 3: Hiding emotions is seldom successful

Surface acting and emotional labour have been linked to performance burnout and job turnover.

For instance, expression of joy is often deemed not professional in organisations and this can actually hinder encouragement to reproduce success.

Principle 4: Decisions must incorporate emotion to be effective

No decisions are made without emotion.

Rational thinking cannot occur in the absence of emotion.

Principle 5: Emotions follow logical patterns

Emotions emerge for many reasons and each emotion is part of a sequence from low to high intensity.

Principle 6: Emotional universals exist, but so do specifics

The specifics are:
Emotional Display Rules
Secondary Emotions
Gender & Emotions

and how emotions influence our thinking:

it's really informative.. and i love this quote mentioned:

Our life is what our thoughts make it.

we have to take control of our thoughts and not the other way round cos if our thoughts control us, we may be swarmed by negative and distorted thoughts and it can cause alot of suffering in our lives.

we gotta learn to be positive..

learn that it's not the situations that made us negative.. its our reactions to the situtations..

one situation but different solutions, depending on our reactions and beliefs..

we can't control situations, but we can control our reactions.

there have been numerous research over the years proving that people with a positive mind recover faster from illness..

and we humans aren't meant to be alone.. we are wired for relationships..

positive relationships will enhance our wellbeing and health (physical and mental)..

most importantly, we need to accept that everyone is different..

so keep an open mind, and life will be better in the long run.. =)

2010-06-12T09:13:00.004+08:00

someone told me i am an emo person when we were chatting regarding my fb comments.. and i said, "no, my quotes are random.." and he replied, "not from your fb, but from your blog.."

i retailated saying my posts were random too.. but his reply was, "but you blogged about it cos you thought about it.."

hmmmm.. interesting theory.. yes, my entries were due to me thinking of the topic and wrote them down.. my thoughts, my views about certain stuff that had happened to me or my friends or just random news..

by thinking of certain matters, does it make a person an emo person?

i admit, i used to be an emo person.. didn't help when i was young and i had quite a lot of friends with the same dramatic genes in them.. lol..

well, i believe 90% of the population were in that catergory once (emo).. but to what extent? suicide? drink drank drunk every other night? dramatic status on fb/twitter? gothic makeup? tearing every minute?

a bit of emo-ness is good (imo).. one can't be positive and laughing all the time.. whether you choose to reveal that side of yours to your friends, everyone or just your little puppy, it's good to show.. to let that part of emotions out..

think and be negative.. just for a little while.. dramatic.. for tiny winy bit.. doesn't hurt.. afterall, life is so boring.. without such ups and downs, what will life be? monotonous living like zombie?

of cos, i am not saying to be emo and dramatic ALL the time.. it pisses people off and its such a turn off to be forever emo-ing and dramatic.. like watching Korean soap opera.. =.=

i think alot.. i really do.. when i have some quiet time.. i will think of things.. of life in general.. love.. friends.. family.. goal in life.. work.. etc..

thinking makes me achieve different perspectives of matters and thus, able to 'see' more.. of cos, i won't think and start being emo and cry and all that stunts..

i have passed that stage..

though i do miss that stage, no cos i love being emo, but i love being young.. where you do things without thinking much of the consequences.. with a care in the world.. smiling and crying at the same time.. doing stupid stuff with your friends.. =)

don't you miss that?

we have grown older and wiser but with that, we lost our innocence and naive-ness..

2010-05-30T20:36:00.003+08:00

was browsing fb on my iphone when i got a notification that i had a message..

went in and saw this msg:

first he ask a random girl to sms him to tell him abt her.. and not ask her to reply his fb..

then he said he did not have a comp at home, he was using office comp..

which well, is one in a million chance of a person not having a comp at home..

then, i went to click on his profile (obviously kapoh) and saw this:

so he is attached.. yet he go msg girls with such things.. i bet he didn't just msg me but a whole bunch of others too..

and then.. i went to click on his gf's profile and guess what i saw? a weird status update:

so based on my assumption, his gf's status was about the bf.. and my guess is, this guy changed his password so that he can go around msging girls without the worry of getting found out by the gf..

what an asshole.

this is what pissed me off. usually, i would jus click on the profile, browse through to satisfy my curiosity and that's it, end of story.

(nope, i NEVER reply to such msgs in fb)

but this guy's behaviour turned me off. he is obviously cheating on his gf.

some may argue saying, it's jus a msg. well, for me, it's cheating, one way or another. if any of the girls replied him and flirted with him, it's only a matter of time before he two/three-time his gf.

fucker.

*rolleyes*

i actually had the thought of msging his gf but decided against it. i don't want to be responsible for their breakup.

so be careful if your partner refuses to let you have his/her pw. something is not right.

2010-05-24T23:55:00.005+08:00

i am very into cameras.. and since last year, i fell in love with toy cameras and polariods.. love them to bits..

alot of people wanna buy DSLRs.. for their high resolutions and quality.. for me, i love the randomness of toy cameras, the vintage touch they have on photos.. and the familiar feeling of buying films and developing them..

when i first stepped into the shop, i was immediately attracted to the cameras displayed.. and since then, i had been buying a camera almost once every 2 months or so..

however, people who knows me well, knows that i like limited edition stuff.. and thus, i have been looking for limited edition cameras..

or in some color that isn't that common.. haha..

i am trying to set up a photo blog for my camera buys (which is similar to my fb album of Camera Buys ♥ )

and maybe photos taken by the various cameras i have.. :D

i am too busy though, no time to even blog.. thus, its gonna be a long wait for my photo blog to be up..

anyway, let me list out the cameras i have now from the very first.........................

Instax Mini 7s - white (limited edition) ♥
got it with cherrie's help when she went to Japan..

GoldenHalf - Red trees (limited edition) ♥
bought it in Singapore.. wanted to get the original for this cos i like the design but it was out of stock.. but this is just as pretty..

photo taken by golden half..

BlackBirdFly - Last Decade (Limited edition) ♥
bought it in Singapore.. wanted to get orange but fell in love with this hot pink edition instead..

this is how the photo will look like.. :D

anyway, i intend to buy the full series of this cameras.. all the different colors.. ♥

Gakkenflex ♥
i happened to go to the shop to browse for camera bags i think and saw this camera..

its in a box like this:

and what i had to do is to put all the parts together and ta da! my toy camera is done! damn vintage and a great sense of satisfaction! ♥

Polaroid One Step Land Camera x 2 ♥
this was a gift from Rach's bf's mum when I went to visit them in Melbourne last November.. It was such a pleasant surprise.. his mum was a camera fan too.. polariod fan to be exact and she loves taking pics..

cant forget how her eyes lit up when she saw my collection of cameras then.. :D

Instax Mini 25 Cheki Hello Kitty Camera ♥
latest buy.. with help of another friend who went to Japan last month.. I had other cameras for her to help me buy but she only managed to find this cos the other was very difficult to find.. well, i will probably buy that in Singapore then..

anyway, i am not a fan of Hello Kitty but I like the colour mix of white and red for this camera.. they have a white color edition but I already had one white polariod camera so its kinda pointless to get another full white instax camera..

but i love white.. haha.. and when i saw this edition, i fell in love with it (of cos, i would prefer if they had Mickey Mouse edition!).. and decided to get this together with its Hello Kitty films.. lol

with Hello Kitty films.. both Instax Mini 7s and 25 will have photos in this size.. =D

well, this are the cameras i had so far.. i still have a lot more on my wishlist which i will get it sooner or later! :D

only pity is i have been so busy, i din have time to full utilize my cameras.. gotta find time soon!

2010-05-14T22:30:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder.. do years really mean anything?

does a person who you have known for 5 years better than a friend you have known for 5 months?

these days, i have seen and heard of people being "betrayed" by their friends, long years of friendships, more than a decade.

disappointments, anger, disgust.. most of all, self-reprimanding..

they felt confused, lost.. why did they once trust those friends so deeply?

why is it that those friends weren't the friends he/she knew a decade ago?

was it his/her fault?

nope. it's not.

this is life.

people change. change is the only constant.

and with the change of environment, people around, it's not that hard to change.

a person's real personality may not surface for the first 20 years of his/her life due to family, school, education..

but once a person goes to work, starts going out, explore, more temptations and 'tests' will show a person's true character, be it good or bad.

as one grows older, he/she will experience more feelings, negative feelings mostly.

jealousy, hatred, dislike etc..

in turn, this may turn a nice and kind person into a jealous and scheming asshole.

can we really blame them for being who and what they are?

maybe to them, we are flawed too cos in their eyes, what they do is right and justifiable.

not everyone views friendship in the same way.

some people view friendships as rare jewels, some treat them as tools, others view them as dispensable objects..

everyone is different.

at least, you get to know that they aren't the type of friends you wanna be with now..

its definitely better than knowing that in like another 20-30 years' time isn't it? =)

or maybe, the end of a friendship will allow the other party to realise your importance?

it may also starts a new life separately, a more fulfiling life that you never had when with the old bunch of friends?

these are all the positive thoughts that one can have when meet with such .. experience..

and always remember, even though the friendship ended, the person might not be who you thought was, this person or this group of people had brought you joy once, and that's all you need to remember..

everyone has a book of memories.. you wouldnt want to fill them up with bad chapters, burnt edges or smudged pages all the time would you? =)

so to my friends who are going through the loss of a long term friendship, don't blame yourself or the other party..

it's life.

without the downs, you won't appreciate the ups.

without this end, you may never get to appreciate the start. =)

2010-05-11T08:42:00.002+08:00

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of others. Be original."

always rem that because it's always better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you aren't. =)

ps: jus a random post of mine~

2010-05-02T08:56:00.002+08:00

People always say, "Words mean nothing with no actions to prove them .."

But there's also saying that "Words hurt as much, if not more than, actions.."

Both true to me.

In fact, I believe the second saying is the effect of the first.. Because the first saying, people have the mindset that words can't hurt.. And therefore, become insensitive to what they say.. Underestimate the power of words..

No matter how much you try, you get affected by words.. It's the words that affect your mood, your confidence..

Words kill.. Look at the numbers of death due to words.. Chinese has this saying, "人言可畏 "

Words can hurt, it can kill a person, literally at times..

Just as words can heal a person.. Boost one's confidence..

Don underestimate the power of words my dear..

Use them to heal, not hurt..

2010-05-01T18:51:00.000+08:00

你相信真愛嗎？

2010-04-29T22:05:00.002+08:00

saw this on a website:

What is Love?

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

-St. Augustine, movie "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"

do you agree? =)

2010-04-27T16:41:00.003+08:00

Today I got 2 donation booklets from my ex-colleague cum friend. It is donation booklets for Children Charities Association of Singapore (CCA).

Proceeds will go to:
1. The Association for Persons with Special Needs,

2. Movement for the Intellectually Disabled of Singapore,

3. St Andrew's Mission Hospital,

4. Singapore Association for the Deaf,

5. Singapore Children's Society,

6. Spastic Children's Association of Singapore.

When I asked for 2 booklets, I was thinking to myself,”well, these days not many people want to donate money, so it’s gonna be tough selling.” So I only took 2 booklets, 20 tickets in total.

When I started asking my colleagues to buy the tickets, I was expecting to sell only 1 book and I was going to buy the 2nd booklet. To my surprise, my colleagues each bought at least 2 tickets, and 3 of them actually bought 3 booklets (1 booklet each)!

I was very touched, seriously. They bought it so readily; they did not even ask if there’s lucky draw or when’s the event etc which most public would ask. They merely ask, “donation for? “ after I replied, they just said. “okay! One book for me! “

It’s that simple.

With all the scams and hoo-haa of various big charities, Singaporeans are getting very sceptical about donating, even if it’s only $2 each.

However, there are still a group of people who still wish to help the needy in the country, still believes there are genuine associations/organisations in Singapore that are helping those in need.

I am much more positive now and hope more people will regain their confidence in charity and donate generously cos ultimately, when we get stingy with our donations, it ain’t those CEOs or Directors who suffer, but those who are depending on these associations to survive through every day needs.

The directors or management level would still be paid a comfortable sum of money every month while those who really need help, such as medical bills, dialysis machines etc, would be crying and worrying about the next day, cos we public had lost hope and stop donating.

So please people, be kind! donate! =)

* CCA will be having their annual fun-fair event around November this year to help raise funds for the needy children. Do stay tune for updates! =)

2010-04-26T01:02:00.007+08:00

a gf asked about my ex bf.. and pics..

as i was showing her his pics.. i felt sad.. tears threaten to fill my eyes.. i stopped it..

nope, i am no longer in love with him, so is he.. we are purely friends (if not accquaintances)..

for those who do not know me, this past relationship was a fulfiling one.. he was a very nice person and was true to me through out the relationship..

but it ended eventually.. with no one's fault.. sometimes, love just ain't enough..

maybe i was feeling melachony.. maybe too much memories came back to me..

it's not the kind of sad that you lost someone you love.. its not longer the same sadness i felt when he broke up with me..

it was a sense of pity..

we were so close to starting a new life together.. but we didn't..

and this relationship taught me alot of things.. really alot.. and though it ended, i have no regrets..

i'm glad i have the memories..

he has found a better half.. a person more suitable than i am.. and i give him my blessings..

a friend had said, when the time comes, you will be able to let go..

you will know when its time to let go..

till then, no words of advice will be able to change your mind..

how true is that?

those who had been through failed relationships..

failed relationships which were supposed to work.. or at least, it seemed to work..

do you agree?

that your heart will know when it's time to let go?

if your heart knows when it is time to let go, will it know when it's time to tie the knot? when you meet the right person, will your heart let you know?

i must admit, i do not have an answer to that.

so.. do you have an answer for me?

2010-03-21T00:06:00.002+08:00

往往, 你認為最了解你的人就是在你最需要了解的時候第一位誤會你的人~

人生就只這樣.. 當你越在乎一個人, 越信任一個人, 你就會對他有更高的期望..

而往往, 你會因此更失望..

反而, 當你對一個人沒期望時, 你不會有任何失望..

人應該有期望呢, 還是避免失望?

我也不知道.. 你呢?

2010-03-19T23:09:00.002+08:00

disappointments can push a person into giving up..

appreciations can push a person into a much better man..

anger can push a person into doing something drastic like killing etc..

heartbreaks can push a person into commiting suicide or kill another person..

love can push a person into doing sth that he/she wasnt confident of before..

that's how powerful feelings can be..

emotions.. these are unexplanable things in life that can control a person's mind and actions..

how many times have we seen on papers or witness situations that are pushed by emotions?

stupid things.. touching moments..

some people says emotions are nothing compared to minds..

but how true is that?

one should be rational...

but if a person is rational all the time, wouldnt he be a walking corpse?

of cos, a person cant be irrational all the time, he/she would be crazed!

what i am saying is a person needs emotions to be really living..

some people are so indifferent to everything, they are like walking corpses..

deep inside, more often than not, they are afraid to reveal that "weak" side of theirs..

thinking that showing emotions make them vulnerable..

and therefore, they built a wall around them.. to prevent them from being vulnerable..

and those who try to go in will be blocked by the wall, which is filled with thorns..

after awhile, no one will try to go near it..

and it become a fortress with only one man livining in it..

they feel lonely.. but their belief prevented them from opening a small window out of that tall wall..

if they are lucky, one day, a person will come along with weapons strong enough to destroy that wall and make it a beautiful castle with wonderful memories..

if not, they will grow to be grumpy old men and women..

which we see at times, at work..

we see 2 types of people:

the cynical person who is indifferent to everything n hates anything that involves feeling..

and the emotional nutcase who is always so dramatic over little things and crying over almost anything..

which one do you rather have in your life? be it work or personal?

the walking corpse or the drama king/queen?

i personally prefer the former.. at least i can just ignore him and argue with him when he gets irritating..

but the latter? he/she may jus threaten to die and spread vicious rumors about you ignoring him/her, break his heart etc..

at least the former would be too indifferent to bother doing that childish stuff!

how about you?

what kind of persons do you have in your life?

is it time for you to do sth about those irritants? =)

2010-03-10T00:43:00.002+08:00

some people may think that i am always emo.. due to the way i design my blog.. the songs i put.. the words i write..

well.. i am not..

i like to design blogs in a more.. hmmm.. alright.. emo way not because i am very emo.. but because such designs show your feelings..

its actually harder to design happy layouts (for me) and it hinders my writing..

my blog is mostly about thoughts.. deep thoughts..

i don usually blog about my daily life.. what i have bought today.. what i have eaten.. blah blah blah..

so.. such so-called emo layouts allow me to open my heart and blog what my thoughts are churning out..

just like i only blog when its late at night and i am alone..

cos thats when you are most relaxed.. your mind aren't disturbed by the television, traffic, work..

this is the time where you can sit down, and start thinking about.. everything in life.. =)

a friend msg me in fb the other day saying that she loved my blog.. love the way i write my blog.. my thoughts.. the words i use..

i am truely flattered..

surprised that there's still people who read my entries considering i don't update as much as before due to my heavy schedule..

in any case.. she made me write again.. i put in effort to blog again..

and not to let my thoughts wander and get lost on the way..

so thank you my friend, for that fb msg.. =)

i went up to esplanade roof top the other day.. and that was years since the last time i went up..

the feeling was different jus as the landscape was different..

it was.. empty then.. no bar/restaurant.. no artifical garden.. it was jus.. a plain roof top..

but it attracted lots of couples.. like it does now..

i look at the stage downstairs and memories came..

i was once in front of that stage.. with a boy.. a boy who took my heart away for the first time.. a boy i tot was the one.. a boy who i tot i can love forever..

a boy.. who broke my heart again n again till i couldnt believe in love anymore..

we held hands in front of the stage..

we held hands on the roof top..

we took photos..

i was smiling so sweetly that my eyes were visible..

that's simple happiness.. naive, innocent girl who believed she found her prince charming..

years later.. the girl stood at the same place.. without that smile.. that simple happiness..

now replaced is a bitter smile.. smiling at the memories she had as a young adult..

smiling at all the naive thoughts, all the ignorance, all the .. simplicity..

that's the down side of growing up.. you lose that simplicity.. whether you like it or not..

there's an amour in you.. that you use to protect yourself.. to guard from exposing too much of your inner self..

guard against heartbreak..

some say take the risk! life's too short for guarding!

some say, have a safe journey.. life's already tough as it is..

which one do you agree upon?

i am the latter trying to be the former.. you?

2010-03-07T23:37:00.002+08:00

i like watching movies.. in the cinema.. it doesnt really matter if i can fully understand what was the movie going on.. or if i can hear all the words that are being said.. jus by being in there helps me escape.. the reality..

not to say that reality sucks (though it usually does).. just that it helps me to forget about the stress at work, the responsibilities, the anger, sadness, happiness of my own.. and most imptly, who i am..

for that 2 hours, i would be into another person's life.. another character.. experiencing a different life than my own..

which is good..

i am an escapist, some may say.. and i won't deny..

why do one has to always be forced to face the reality every second of the life?

there's 365 days in a year.. why do we have to be in the real life more than half the time?

as you grow older, there's less things that can satisfy you.. its a fact..

the more you know, the more you want..

jus like buying branded goods.. some say, once you start, you wont stop..

from one bag, to another, and another and on and on..

its like an addiction.. cos the more you know, the more you want..

that's life, that's human, that's us..

shrugs..

but at the same time, the more you know, the more you don't want..

ironic?

not so..

it depends on what are the knowledge you gain..

and thus, the decision you make to want or not..

the things you know affects alot on your decision later on.. you have to admit that..

which is why sometimes, people rather not know..

ignorance is bliss..

this quote doesn't come without a reason..

how many times in life did you regret knowing something?

how many times were you glad that you did?

in the end, do you prefer a life not knowing things or do you wish that you had known more?

for me, i prefer the latter..

how about you?

2010-01-06T00:34:00.002+08:00

was looking through blogs from my list.. and saw this entry:

小樂發覺到——

每當發生會令你非常開心的事時；
你最想要第一時間告訴的[人]；

也就是；

每當發生會令你不高興的事時；
最不想告訴的同樣一個[人]~

got me thinking.. is this common? are we mostly like that?

likes to share your happiness with that particular someone but do not wish to let him/her in for any unhappy things?

why?

to protect the person?

to never want the person to be unhappy?

to always see the person smiling?

but if you are the person, would you rather your loved one share only the happy stuff with you or would you want to share his/her burdens too?

i don't know about others..

but i would want to share everything with the person.. tears n laughters.. everything..

and i would want to be the person he comes to for everything..

maybe that's the way that i can feel that i mean something to him.. impt enough to be let in the sad stuff..

when you love someone, it gives you the strength to be strong enough to wipe the tears and share the burden..

love isn't weak.. its strong..

at least mine is.. =)

2010-01-05T00:34:00.011+08:00

its the start of a new year, end of an old year..

its time for ppl to write about reflections and new goals, new hopes..

then i went to click on my december entries in the past 2 years, 2008 and 2007..

a roller coaster of emotions.. a roller coaster of emotions..

i smiled, then my heart ached and tears threatened to fall..

am i sad? i'm not sure..

am i happy? nope..

am i disappointed? i guess so..

in what? i am not sure either..

i looked at my 2008 entry and i saw this:

in 4 days' time, we will be celebrating the end of this year and welcoming the beginning of next year..

as i think back this year, alot of things changed.. for the better or worse? thats up to individual..

for me, i feel that all in all, it was for the better..

i believe everything happens for a reason.. when a door is closed, another will open in no time.. =)

alot of tears flowed this year, just as alot of laughter was heard..

i have grown up alot this year..

closed up alot, but opened up alot too..

learned to be more realistic..

learned to be more contented..

as for next year, i am keeping my hopes that it will be better, but i have learnt to always leave room for disappointment..

cos with high hopes, come with great disappointment..

this is just how life works..

how about yours?

have you reflected on your past year and plans for next year? =)

and this is what i hope for this year too..

be even more contented.. even more realistic.. hopes for better but not to hope too much..

last year this time, i thought my previous year were a roller coaster with so many things changing..

this year this time, i looked back and there's even more changes.. huge changes..

and last year, i had grown up a lot..

this year, i have grown up even more..

when i looked at the photos in 2007..how i spent my christmas.. and then in 2008, how i spent it..

and then this year..

huge differences..

and i realised.. my smiles changed.. alot..

i remembered how a person had told me that my smiles told alot of stories.. how my smiles werent happy smiles..

i din really see it then..

now i do..

i look at my photos.. it was different.. the happiest smiles kinda stopped in 2007..

why?

it has nth to do with anyone.. its just me.. the growing process.. make one forget how to appreciate small things..

how to believe in happiness.. simple happiness..

now everytime i smile or laugh happily.. at the back of my mind.. i am prepared for unhappiness later on..

skeptical? maybe. cynical? most probably.

i lost a lot this year.. but its a blessing in disguise i suppose..

i gained alot too.. i finally get to see who are true and who aren't..

every year is like that i guess..

you lose more n more pple and then at the same time, your life gets simpler and simpler (in a way)..

i also nearly lost a bit.. but i got back.. to the disappointment of some and gladness of others.. =)

i remembered feeling that way few years back, when i got back from aussie and got attached..

i remembered losing alot but gained alot too.. my life got simpler and more complicated at the same time..

and it was a blessing in disguise..

i wouldnt say those were bad years cos i enjoyed it.. with my then bf of cos.. =)

i learnt to be loved.. i learnt to be pampered.. i learnt to talk to solve things instead of screaming..

i learnt to compromise..

and then.. in 2009..

i learnt not to compromise.. i learnt to love.. i learnt to pamper.. i learnt that talking may not solve things..

i learnt to accept..

and i learnt that.. your heart can ache so much that you wish to stab it with a knife..

i also learnt that.. friends.. come and go..

those who are always with you may not be those who really understand you or love you the most..

i learnt to use my heart to look but my brain to judge..

i went back to aussie in 2009 with my trusted friend.. and the feeling was very different.. everything had changed..

the stores.. the people.. the routes.. the feelings.. everything changed..

as much as you hope to find back the old feelings.. it's gone.. and you can never get it back..

memories are the only thing that stay..

and i have learnt that in order to move on, one needs to learn to accept and forget about the past..

dont hold on to it..

accept the past and don't look back.. don go dig back old stuffs.. old queries.. old doubts..

it doesnt change things.. it only stir up unnecessary emotions.. which is not worth..

i realised i always look back.. and sometimes, i forget to turn back and look in front.. i get pulled into the past and i din wish to come back to the present..

and this year.. i hope i will learn not to look back so much and well, learn to concentrate on the front.. just like driving.. =)

i've come to understand myself better.. i've learnt that i am not as strong as i seem..

i realised that i have lost the confidence that i used to have..

whose fault?

i am not sure.

the self-confidence that i used to have.. that made me strong.. and pull me thru everything lost me this year..

and i fell badly.. real bad..

but in the mist of it.. i found pillars.. i found support.. thru comforting words.. thru assuring hugs.. to firm reprimanding.. thru silence.. they were there.. and i am glad.. =)

i also learnt that i am a much more forgiving person than i thought i was.. but at the same time, i am not as soft hearted as before..

good or bad? i guess i will know at the end of 2010.

i predict more changes to come this year.. and it may or may not be good..

am i prepared? yes.

will i be able to handle it? i am not sure.

but what i am sure is, when i cant handle.. there'll always be someone there to support me..

and i am glad. =)

thank you whoever the person may be at that point of time.

thank you.

well.. that's my reflections for 2009. a year of massive changes. a roller coaster of emotions. cry when i am happy and laugh when i am sad. crazy.

how about yours? =)

2009-12-31T21:02:00.005+08:00

As my friend and I were chatting over msn (since both of us gotta work till 10pm on New year's Eve) .. He saw my display pic (below) and said:

Vidzy @ work says (8:53 PM):
*wah
ur dimples so deep
*haha no wonder wun get drunk whaha
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:54 PM):
*?
*what
does it gotta do with my dimples?
Vidzy @
work says (8:55 PM):
*u dunno wat dimples is called in chinese?
*酒窝
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:56
PM):
*yea
*i noe
*but what does my not getting drunk gotta
do with my dinples?
Vidzy @ work says
(8:57 PM):
*haha u have deep dimples ma!
*the belief is that
deeper the dimples, the more one can drink haha
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:57 PM):
*serious?
s¡ııy åиgеıå says (8:58 PM):
*i have never heard of
such belief
Vidzy @ work says (8:59
PM):
*haha now u do
*but how accurate i dunno

hmmm..i really never heard of such beliefs.. have you? lol

2009-12-29T01:30:00.003+08:00

today i had an interesting qns being asked by a colleague..

"how do you know that's love? the feeling?"

its like what i had asked my friend, "how do you know he's the one?"

and as the answer always is..

"i don't know. it just feel right.."

and it's true..

there's no explanation.. no way to describe.. no way to test or confirm if that's real love.. if that's the right person for you..

you just know it..

when you are alone.. he/she is the one that comes to your mind.. all the time..

you close your eyes and imagine 5 years later.. 10 years later.. 50 years later.. and there he/she is.. right beside you.. and you smile (or got a shock for some)..

some may argue that it might just be an illusion.. but.. ain't all love illusions? that may last for life?

aren't all of us looking for that particular illusion that may.. become the reality for us?

there's always a risk of the bubble bursting..

you may end up with nothing.. you may end up with everything.. who knows?

life is unpredictable..

sometimes, some things seems so bleak.. may end up completely different from what you had expected..

some says, they never fall deep in love.. they never want to get married..

yet.. more often than not.. they fall when they least expected it and the thought of living without that person scares them more than they getting married..

ta da.. they knew that's love.. that's the one..

who can teach you? some things can't be taught.. some things can't be explained..

like supernaturals in life, love is unexplainable by science and theories..

that's why its so special.. only a handful in the world will experience it..

those who experience it swear it exists and those who didn't will never believe in it..

(till they met the one who can change their minds.. )

love can make or break a person..

are you broken or remade?

2009-12-27T18:12:00.000+08:00

Living is a chore .. I'm tired of it ..

2009-12-27T10:59:00.000+08:00

眼淚成詩
孫燕姿

我已經已經把我傷口化作玫瑰
我的淚水已經變成雨水早已輪迴
我已經已經把對白留成了永遠
忘了天色究竟是黑是灰

分手傷了誰誰把它變美
我的眼淚寫成了詩已無所謂
讓你再回味字不醉人人自醉
因為回憶總是美

我已經已經把絕情變成了恭維
因為不配你就忽然自卑說聲失陪
我已經已經把沉默變成了懺悔
無路可退只能無言以對

2009-12-26T23:25:00.000+08:00

so near yet so far ..

2009-12-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

i was told not to publicise my personal stuff.. and i was thinking.. if on my own blog i cant be real.. if in my own fb profile, i cant be true.. if i have to pretend in front of those i love most.. where can i be frank?

no one reads my blog anyway.. so is my fb.. those who really cares will know it thru my own mouth.. not thru such engines..

alot of people speculate over my one fb msg.. a msg which was written in an emotional state.. a heartbroken state.. and pple started spreading rumours..

its my fault and if there're things i regret, this is one of the most regrettable stuff i had ever done..

these are the places where i could be frank cos he never reads it.. he never read my profile nor my blog.. and i tot i could be frank without pissing him off..

but i forgot.. walls have ears.. words spread and ta da! its done.. i have ruined it again..

and now i have to bear the consequences.. of pretending.. to be happy.. to be contented..

sitting right beside him n knowing he's not mine.. standing beside him and can't hold his hands..

feeling sick and pretended that am healthy.. smiling n happy..

only one thing never change: i still hide in the toilet n cry and he still doesnt know..

nothing to be happy about over here..

first time.. really.. to feel like this.. to really understand some ppl love till they wanna die..

why some ppl committed suicide over love..

cos living without the one they love is worse than dying without them..

not worth it.. some would say but who's to judge?

no one.

no one has the right to judge cos you cant fault love..

love is without reason, without justification.. without conditions.. and definitely without logic..

i m standing in a position of loving n being loved..

love or be loved?

my mind says latter but my heart chooses former..

to be happy or miserable?

again, mind chooses the easy way out and heart chooses the hard one..

stupid.. utterly stupid..

but love makes you stupid.. thats the way it should..

and right now, i am being one..

on an emotional roller coaster.. up the few hours, and crashing for the rest of it..

depressed, suicidal, hysterical, schizophrenic..

will this ever end?

like a fairytale? a romance movie?

and they live happily ever after?

if i pray hard enough, will it happen?

if i beg you, will you come back?

2009-12-18T00:51:00.004+08:00

a friend said this over msn..

xx says (12:29 AM):
*relationship involve both party
*is like playing a game
*both party can set the rules
*each has their rights to ask for things
*and it is for both to nego on the terms
*if they cannt set the terms right
*den no point comtinuing

very interesting and it set me thinking..

isn't it true?

there's always terms n conditions..

and we usually didn't read that part..

and end up breaking all of them..

can we set the terms right?

2009-12-14T17:54:00.006+08:00

some say, as long as there's no physical contact (sex, kiss, hugs etc), that's not cheating..

i say, when there's intention to do so, it's cheating..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, lies were to protect the other party from hurt..

i say, lies were to protect the sender from facing the music.. from dying with guilt and clearing the mess he/she created..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, there's love.. shouldn't give up..

i say, there's love but there's no trust = nth

some say, you've come a long way..

i say, it means nth if this long way didn't stop the other party from wanting to cheat (if he hasn't alr done so)..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, once lied, may not lie forever..

i say, if the lie means nth to the sender, then yes, he/she will lie forever.. more n more, smarter n smarter.. a vicious cycle..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, two people together, there's definitely differences in thinking..

i say, difference is ok, but not when values are different and respect is not shown for the other party's values..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, after while, there's definitely no passion in a rs.. cant possibly be honeymoon all the time..

i say, that's bullshit cos i have experienced passion for long time in a rs before.. its all up to the party whether he/she wants to make the effort to keep the flame from dying..

----------------------------------------------------------------

some say, outsiders see clearer..

i say, insiders know better..

i used to wonder why was it that my ex bf loved me but wanted to break up with me?

and now, i understand..

love is important but trust is more important..

when trust is gone, nothing else matters..

when you chose to sms the girl , your heart was no longer with me .. and when you chose to lie to me , the relationship died ..

2009-12-14T13:45:00.001+08:00

丁当 - 你为什么说谎
作词：刘沁黄婷作曲：刘沁

这次我走开再没有话要说出来
我不想再期待走下去还能多精彩

我不了解你怎能心安
也抓不住你的倔强
可是我知道你你为什么说谎

你说你还在一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里可是这一切已太晚

我不能再像从前一样
为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释你为什么说谎

你不能说我没有爱过说我没等过难过
我也想说也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪怎么就流下来

你说你还在一分一秒也没走开
我想留在这里可是这一切已太晚
我不能再像从前一样
为我们的明天疯狂
你不必解释你为什么说谎

你不能说我没有爱过说我没等过难过
我也想说也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪怎么就流下来

你不能说我没有爱过说我没等过难过
我也想说也许能重来我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪怎么就流下来

你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱
而我的泪怎么就流下来

2009-11-10T00:00:00.002+08:00

nothing is impossible..

Source: asiaonehealth

Wife allergic to husband's sperm

It was supposed to be a special night between the both of them.

But the young bride discovered a shocking truth on the marriage bed - she was allergic to her husband's sperm.

It was a torturous experience, said Julie Boyd.

"I knew something was not right because I was in a lot of pain," the 26-year-old American told UK tabloid The Daily Mail.

"The pain that I was feeling was like somebody sticking needles up inside of me... a real painful burning," she said.

Describing the pain, she said: "On a scale of one to 10, it's pretty much a 10."

She also told the tabloid that the pain lasted for weeks and blisters developed.
Screencap: Internet

The wedding night was not the first time that she had sex with her husband. The couple had slept together during their two year engagement, but always with protection.

They decided to do away with condoms on their first night as a wedding couple.

Numerous tests

After going for numerous clinical tests, doctors confirmed that Jule suffered from seminal plasma hypersensitivity - her body would attack her husband's sperm, making it inactive, reported The Daily Mail.

Said a doctor: "The body recognizes the sperm as a foreign protein, like it would recognize a peanut allergen or a pollen so you have swelling, you have itching, you have inflammation of the nerve endings."

Unable to conceive naturally, the couple is now considering adoption.

2009-11-07T10:47:00.003+08:00

我不是你想像那麼勇敢
梁文音

作詞：姚謙作曲：陳威全

有時候太堅強笑容卻填不滿眼眶
越是想要隱藏歌聲就唱的更響亮
直到入到心底最深處
你不要追問我還缺了些什麼

每個人都有夢幸福總站在最遠方
心中越是渴望越是不敢伸手擁抱
誰的心是我最後一站
我常問我自己現在還沒有個答案

我不是你想像那麼勇敢
多想讓你保護能流淚一場
讓我放下武裝像個孩子一樣
單純的把愛情放在你心上

每個人都有夢幸福總站在最遠方
心中越是渴望越是不敢伸手擁抱
誰的心是我最後一站
我常問我自己現在還沒有個答案

我不是你想像那麼勇敢
多想讓你保護能流淚一場
讓我放下武裝像個孩子一樣
單純的把愛情放在你心上

我不是你想像總是扮演堅強
多想讓你知道我也要個伴
放下討厭武裝像個孩子一樣
單純的把愛情放在你心上

我不是你想像的那麼勇敢

2009-11-04T22:35:00.007+08:00

Picture by: DariaDonMOR
many times i tried to blog something but when the page loads, my mind went blank..

i had no idea what to blog about..

my daily life?

my halloween night?

my work life?

nah. all too boring.

not that nothing happened to my life these days (in fact, alot of things happened)..

just that when i had the feel to blog, i wasn't anywhere near my laptop and when i do, i couldn't rem what i was supposed to blog about..

the feeling was gone and it could not be found.. well, till the next time at least..

and now, i sit here, typing away, hoping sth will come into my mind.. .... .... ....

nth.

damn.

have i lost the touch of blogging or am i really that busy that i have no time to blog?

answer is both.

i don't seem to be able to find back those feels to blog like i used to in the past.

the job i have now is burying me alive with all the ad hoc and non- ad hoc OTs, meetings, courses and events..

not to mention most aren't claimable for off days..

with that kind of schedule, i have no time to blog.. the time i have is used for zzz and be with loved ones..

all my other time has been eaten up by work..

sucks i know.

i always tell people that work isn't everything but look at me now. its my life.

went to send my mum n sis off the other day (they went Korea. i can't go. no leave. ) and my mum told me, i looked very tired.

i say yea and she said, "唉, 你真的是勞碌命ㄚ.. 每天都那麼忙.. 能休息就休息吧~"

and i agreed. my life is labourer life. work n work n work.

i don have the life of a princess or those born with silver spoon.

what to do?

like a fren had mentioned, my life since born till now is very tough and this year will be the toughest.

life will only get better when i turn 27.

which is either in 2 months time or a years time.

we shall see.

well, it really hasn't been the best year of my life, considering all the downs that i had.

but its the downs that made me appreciate the ups and some of the downs were blessings in disguise. so i am actually glad.

the year is ending, its the time where people start reviewing the what they had done in the past year, had they meet the goals and start making new goals and targets for the new year.

i think back and i realised i have nothing to review cos i had made no targets nor goals this year.

it has been a cruise-thru year for me.

a year for me to change a life. a makeover of sort.

and i can't say i hate it cos change is the only constant.

i may not like the change but that the only constant in life, really.

with every turn comes a new opening.. with every door closed opens a new window and with all the downs, come the ups in life.

i have cried alot this year.. but i believe i have truely laughed alot this year too..

fake laughs and smiles? still exist.

but the amt of times i had really laughed or smiled increased.

so all is balanced in life.

its not so bad afterall if you look at it in a different light.

so all is good for me i guess.

how about yours?

2009-09-16T12:37:00.002+08:00

credits to: Joanna Huiting :D

2009-09-15T09:34:00.002+08:00

Angela あやか哇! 很準耶!

Angela 已參加看看你是怎樣的一個人？（準）測驗，結果是 4.生氣

1.不是跟你很熟的人覺得你是......一個很會關心別人的人，很容易發現身邊有人不開心，不會很容易講錯東西或話題。
2.跟你很熟的人覺得你是......可以跟你講道理，黑白之間分辨得很清楚。
3.你想要別人覺得你是......很聰明，不過又不會驕傲的人。
4.你最希望你的情人是......智慧很重要，可以管得到你的人，而且要講道理。
5.其實真實的你是......直接的人，很多時候因為這樣的性格跟別人不合，希望有多一點人可以了解你，特別是你喜歡的人。

快來作個屬於自己的心理測驗! | 參加此測驗

just did this quiz in fb.. true..

it says..

1. people who don't know me well thinks i am ........ a very caring person, has the ability to sense if another person is unhappy, and doesn't easily say the wrong word or topic.

2. people who knows me well thinks i am ........ a person whom they can talk reason to, who draw a very clear line between right and wrong, black and white.

3. i hope people will think that i am ....... a smart but ain't proud person.

4. i wish that my lover is ........ of high intelligence, can control me but reasonable.

5. actually, i am ......... a straight forward and frank person, alot of times, i can't mix well with other people due to my character, hopes more people can understand me a little better, especially the one i like.

hmmmm.. its really true.. go try it.. =)

2009-09-12T18:59:00.003+08:00

Chatting with a fren and she said this:

P says (6:56 PM):
gettings guys is like buying fruits..
P says (6:56 PM):
outside nice nice if inside rotten cannot refund

what a great analogy..

2009-09-12T16:30:00.004+08:00

when i was younger, i yearned to be part of a group.. big group.. wanted to be invited to activities etc..

but as i grow older.. i'd rather go out individually with the people i called friends than to waste my time faking my smiles at people i didn't like in a group..

don't get me wrong.. i don't despise or dislike going out in a group.. but i wont crave for it.. neither would i be affected if i am not being invited..

in a big group of friends, let's say 10-20, can you really say that this is a group of friends who are true to one another? that all are really good friends and such?

most prob not..

in a group of less than 5, yea.. there will be true or real deep bond.. but more than that? its hard..

in a big group like this, there's bound to be small cliques.. and friction and well.. displeasure..

its only a matter of time where a group like this will crack and split into small groups.. jus like Soviet Union (USSR)..

Up till now.. i have never seen a group of friends (more than 5 "members") remain the same group..

esp friends since young.. pri? sec? jc?

they usually split up due to more n more conflicts.. seeing true colors of one another etc..

smart ones keep quiet and fade away..

not-so-smart ones will stay in there, trying to keep everything together.. not accepting that things aren't the same anymore..

(just like in a relationship yea?)

i think its better that you are remembered as an individual and they meet up with you separately than to be remembered as a group member to be asked along for group outings only.. where's there only fun..

what do you think?

2009-09-08T15:50:00.002+08:00

(1) 当一个孤独的男孩经常对你厣厣一笑时,他已经喜欢上你了

　　
(2) 每次和你在一起的时候,他会很沉默,明明牵着你的手,却一会看天一会看云,你会认为他不喜欢你,错了,此时他眼里只有你,只是他习惯了一个人的感觉.
　　

(3) 当你在也受不住沉默的时候,你提出分手.他没有忧郁一刻便答应了,你认为他是真的不爱你,错了,他只要幸福快乐,满足你所有欲望,所以宁可忍痛退出.
　　

(4) 他答应以后,便故作一点也不在乎的,漫无经心的走掉了,但是你永远也不会知道他心里是多么难过,也许这是他真的知道世界上有一种感觉叫欲哭无泪.
　　

(5) 分手后,他每次走过你身边,都会显得更无所谓,但是你不会知道,当你转身只后,他会静静望着你的背影偷偷留泪.

(6) 就在你终于知道他是多么爱你并且你也仍爱着他的情况下,你去他的廎室找他,推开门,他正在椅在床上默默叹气,你走进她他,他却顾也不顾的一把把你抱住,你笑了,这时却觉得衣襟湿湿的,你永远也不会知道,你的这个笑容,是他用多少不绵的泪夜换来的.

2009-09-07T23:34:00.007+08:00

"if holding on is too tough, maybe its time to let go.."

an advice i tell my friends when they do not know if they should let go or hold on..

but more often than not, they choose to hold on even when it hurts so bad.. cos when you hold on, you can still hope..

by letting go, you are accepting the reality that its the end..

and that is hard..

facing and accepting the reality is really hard..

a part of us, humans, like to escape and refuse to accept the reality..

why should we when we can keep holding on and having a glint of hope?

true..

but only by facing the reality can one move on.. and be stronger..

ever thought of that?

i did.

"what doesn't kill you make you stronger.."

there's a reason why there's such a saying..

having said that, who had ever been so logical?

especially when it comes to matters of heart?

i didn't.

how about you?

"When one is in love,

one always begins by deceiving one's self,

and one always ends by deceiving others.

That is what the world calls a romance."

~Oscar Wilde

2009-09-05T10:10:00.000+08:00

so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^

2009-08-28T22:30:00.002+08:00

You took my heart and lifted it high

Then you let it fall...hard...

And watch it broke into million pieces...

For me to pick up and mend it

But...

It can never be perfect again

Coz there’s a deep scar

Left by you

2009-08-26T17:35:00.004+08:00

50 Things Women Wish Men Knew

There are some universal truths that women believe all men should—but don't—understand. Lucky for you, we convinced some girls to open up and tell us what they aren't. Check out this list for a better idea of what's going through her mind.

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/what_women_want_from_men/

What She Wishes You Knew #1

Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

Comments from me: yes

What She Wishes You Knew #2

Real men drive stick shift.

Comments from me: hmmmmm

What She Wishes You Knew #3

I will leave if you lie.

Comments from me: yes

What She Wishes You Knew #4

You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

Comments from me: ..

What She Wishes You Knew #5

I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

Comments from me: definitely

What She Wishes You Knew #6

I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

Comments from me: of cos.. hee.

What She Wishes You Knew #7

"Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

Comments from me: yea

What She Wishes You Knew #8

Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

Comments from me: or another woman. lol

What She Wishes You Knew #9

I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

Comments from me: ..

What She Wishes You Knew #10

I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

Comments from me: *shy*

What She Wishes You Knew #11

I expect you to call me.

Comments from me: yea.. and get upset when you don't.

What She Wishes You Knew #12

Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

Comments from me: yes

What She Wishes You Knew #13

I'm scared of losing my independence.

Comments from me: kinda

What She Wishes You Knew #14

I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

Comments from me: yes.

What She Wishes You Knew #15

Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

Comments from me: ..

What She Wishes You Knew #16

You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

Comments from me: yes.

What She Wishes You Knew #17

If I'm not having sex with you, I'm . . . a.) . . . having a fat day. b.) . . . not feeling "connected" to you. c.) . . . blackmailing you to get something I want.

Comments from me: first two.. yes.. third? i never tried. does it work? =X

What She Wishes You Knew #18

Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

Comments from me: and hair.

What She Wishes You Knew #19

I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

Comments from me: i don't.

What She Wishes You Knew #20

When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

Comments from me: ..

What She Wishes You Knew #21

A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

Comments from me: yes. definitely yes.

What She Wishes You Knew #22

You look hot in hooded clothing items.

Comments from me: err..

What She Wishes You Knew #23

You should never tell me what to do.

Comments from me: hmmmmm..

What She Wishes You Knew #24

If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

Comments from me: yes. should never let me go hungry.

What She Wishes You Knew #25

My breasts love much licking and sucking.

Comments from me: not too hard though.. hurts.

What She Wishes You Knew #26

If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

Comments from me: unless i am really too busy.

What She Wishes You Knew #27

I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

Comments from me: yes, that shows u are smart enough to seek help when needed.

What She Wishes You Knew #28

I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

Comments from me: kinda

What She Wishes You Knew #29

When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

Comments from me: ..

What She Wishes You Knew #30

I want to be Madonna.

Comments from me: ..

What She Wishes You Knew #31

Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

Comments from me: yes, please take notice of hygiene.

What She Wishes You Knew #32

I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

Comments from me: *smiles* its sweet. =)

What She Wishes You Knew #33

You're sexy when you're: shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

Comments from me: you do.

What She Wishes You Knew #34

I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

Comments from me: yes. we need to hear the words. not jus, "you know it.. duh"

What She Wishes You Knew #35

Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

Comments from me: yes, girls love surprises.

What She Wishes You Knew #36
I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you—and for you to recognize this.

Comments from me: yea. we won't know if you don't say.

What She Wishes You Knew #37

If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking . . .

Comments from me: yup

What She Wishes You Knew #38

Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

Comments from me: i guess the word "comparison" is more appropriate.

What She Wishes You Knew #39

I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

Comments from me: yea. so that i feel that i am a part of you.

What She Wishes You Knew #40

Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

Comments from me: and when you stopped doing that, it shows that u don't love as much anymore.

What She Wishes You Knew #41

I love it when you're sweaty.

Comments from me: err..

What She Wishes You Knew #42

It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

Comments from me: yea. girls that i approve of.

What She Wishes You Knew #43

A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

Comments from me: or hugs.

What She Wishes You Knew #44

I like porn.

Comments from me: unless the guy is too ugly or the girl moans like she is in pain. and oh, when its censored at the xxx areas. whats the point of having porn if its mosaic-ed?

What She Wishes You Knew #45

I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

Comments from me: yes, i really love it. hee

What She Wishes You Knew #46

Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

Comments from me: yes. love it.

What She Wishes You Knew #47

It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read . . .

Comments from me: yes. please note.

What She Wishes You Knew #48

For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

Comments from me: another important point.

What She Wishes You Knew #49

I remember everything about our relationship.

Comments from me: yea. even when you don't.

What She Wishes You Knew #50

You should know all this and more without my telling you.

Comments from me: yea. but you usually don't.

i like this list.. what most girls feel. guys, read it and remember.

2009-08-26T11:04:00.011+08:00

50 Things Men Wish Women Knew

Listen up ladies: We know you're keeping secrets from us. And even though you think you've got men all figured out, we're hiding a few things ourselves. But we're kind enough to compile this list of 50 universal guy truths that all women should understand. Read on and learn what your man is really thinking.

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/things_men_want_from_women/

What He Wishes You Knew #1

Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.

Comments from me: is that even true? What if the someone is you (the guy)?

What He Wishes You Knew #2

You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.

Comments from me: running shoes.... hmmm.. really? *brows*

What He Wishes You Knew #3

Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.

Comments from me: i guess cleavage is better.

What He Wishes You Knew #4

If you think I'm speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.

Comments from me: hah. that i agree. and girls may say the same thing to the guy.

What He Wishes You Knew #5

If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.

Comments from me: if we don't play hard, you guys wont treasure us.

What He Wishes You Knew #6

Shopping is a chore, not an activity.

Comments from me: well..that's why girls nowadays turn to online shopping!

What He Wishes You Knew #7

When I screw up, go ahead and tell me—once.

Comments from me: we would like to tell you once, if you listen.

What He Wishes You Knew #8

No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.

Comments from me: ..

What He Wishes You Knew #9

I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.

Comments from me: note taken

What He Wishes You Knew #10

My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they're your best sign that I'm not a whack job.

Comments from me: what if they are the reason why none of your rs worked? guy friends are fine. but what kind?

What He Wishes You Knew #11

Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.

Comments from me: is it?

What He Wishes You Knew #12

Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.

Comments from me: tat's not gonna happen. plucking of eyebrows is a must unless u have naturally nice ones.

What He Wishes You Knew #13

You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.

Comments from me: ooo.. tat's an open secret. =P

What He Wishes You Knew #14

When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.

Comments from me: understandable.

What He Wishes You Knew #15

I don't ask for directions because I'm just happy to be driving. Anywhere.

Comments from me: you sure it ain't cos of ego?

What He Wishes You Knew #16

Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.

Comments from me: of cos.

What He Wishes You Knew #17

We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.

Comments from me: tat's sweet to noe.

What He Wishes You Knew #18

But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?

Comments from me: .......... guys........

What He Wishes You Knew #19

There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.

Comments from me: note taken. but do all girls moan when having orgasm?

What He Wishes You Knew #20

Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.

Comments from me: ..

What He Wishes You Knew #21

I just may lie to make you feel good. Don't be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.

Comments from me: that ain't true, sometimes.

What He Wishes You Knew #22

When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.

Comments from me: hmmmmm.. don't guys do the same?

What He Wishes You Knew #23

You're really bad at faking it.

Comments from me: at least we bother to fake it so it wont hurt your ego.

What He Wishes You Knew #24

If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you're late.

Comments from me: okay. that's very true.

What He Wishes You Knew #25

Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.

Comments from me: get it wrong? don't think so. we ask cos we trust your taste.

What He Wishes You Knew #26

Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.

Comments from me: kinky. i like it.

What He Wishes You Knew #27

Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.

Comments from me: but don't like it when other guys looked?

What He Wishes You Knew #28

Unless we're meeting my parents.

Comments from me: obviously.

What He Wishes You Knew #29

When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail.

Comments from me: note taken.

What He Wishes You Knew #30

Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter.

Comments from me: ..

What He Wishes You Knew #31

Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.

Comments from me: note taken.

What He Wishes You Knew #32

We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."

Comments from me: LOL

What He Wishes You Knew #33

We love ponytails.

Comments from me: really? why?

What He Wishes You Knew #34

Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.

Comments from me: of cos!

What He Wishes You Knew #35

The first time? We're as nervous as you are.

Comments from me: i'm sure. =)

What He Wishes You Knew #36

A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.

Comments from me: *cheeky smile*

What He Wishes You Knew #37

Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.

Comments from me: same for us

What He Wishes You Knew #38

Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.

Comments from me: yea, so do i. =X

What He Wishes You Knew #39

Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.

Comments from me: hmmmm..

What He Wishes You Knew #40

You can pick the movie, but have a reason.

Comments from me: reason? cos we like it.

What He Wishes You Knew #41

Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting."

Comments from me: ..

What He Wishes You Knew #42

Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.

Comments from me: *melts* tell us in the face and we might just stay for life.

What He Wishes You Knew #43

Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.

Comments from me: same for girls

What He Wishes You Knew #44

If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love.

Comments from me: ..

What He Wishes You Knew #45

No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.

Comments from me: ..

What He Wishes You Knew #46

We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.

Comments from me: same for girls

What He Wishes You Knew #47

And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.

Comments from me: u sure??

What He Wishes You Knew #48

We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"

Comments from me: why so? sometimes, we just want an honest opinion.

What He Wishes You Knew #49

Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news.

Comments from me: note taken

What He Wishes You Knew #50

Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.

Comments from me: ..

interesting article i found online. though some are jus plain bullshit. lol..

so guys.. are all these true??

in any case, i will be posting the female's point of view soon. stay tuned. =)

2009-08-14T11:56:00.004+08:00

was browsing through my hotmail, searching for some cheer up emails to cheer up a friend of mine when i stumble upon this old email that i had received from a dear friend:

it made me smile and warmed my heart.. memories..

sometimes, there's no need for exaggerating ways to make a person's day..

a simple thank you note or a hug can do the trick jus fine, if not better..

friends.. you may have a lot..

but those who really are true are usually less than a handful..

and trust me, its definitely better to 1-2 true friends than a bunch of fake friends cos:

False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports.

for me, i am blessed.. i always have these few true friends with me when i am in need..

they just appear whenever i am down..

just 2 nights back, a friend called me and i tot sth happened to the friend but nope, this friend called because,

"i just felt that i should call you, i think you need this call.."

and nope, this friend never read my blog or anything (and my blog is always random).. just called cos had the feeling that i could use a call..

sweet =)

to my friends who have been with me through period of hard times, i wanna say thank you for being there in any way you could.

i appreciate it. =)

to the rest,

tell your loved ones/friends if you appreciate them..today..

don't wait. cos you never know what comes tomorrow. =)

2009-08-07T01:38:00.005+08:00

an interesting conversation with my sis..

decided to share with you guys..

*[ åGиÊs ]* says (1:32 AM):
a fren once ask me this b4...

if god (whoever ur god is) arrange ur mr perfect to only come by 10yrs ltr, will u wait? noeing that once u be wif this perfect person, u'll be happy for e rest of ur life...

yes? keep ur ans wif u...

coz u nvr noe when ur perfect person will appear.. but b4 u can meet ur perfect person, u hava give up e imperfect ones...noeing that he isnt e one...

u hava give up....n u hava be able to keep urself in e light to be able to let e perfect person find u...

if u lose urself, how can this perfect person locate u?

*[ åGиÊs ]* says (1:41 AM):
e perfect person will grow tog wif u...n learn tog wif u...pull u up when u need to, n let u pull him up when he needs to...

so keep urself in light... let him locate u...

get rid of e unnecessary ppl, but keep e lesson learned in each r/s wif u..so that when u finally meet e perfect one, u would hv grown n learned enuff for him to fall for u...

so my friends,

when you feel like giving up, don't.

don't lose yourself.. keep yourself in the light and let the one locate you..

2009-08-06T22:48:00.004+08:00

phy wrote to me this, a quote from Marilyn Monroe:

"I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure....
I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle.
But if you can’t handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best."

very true.

at the end of the day, one needs to learn to love him/herself more..

who did it?

i didn't.

2009-08-06T15:38:00.002+08:00

assurance is through actions, not words

because

words without actions = bullshit

if your partner isn't even worth your efforts for reassuring him/her about the relationship, then it means you don't deserve that person. you just don't love the person deep enough.

maybe then, its time for you to let go of this relationship and free your partner from the pain and hurt that you are causing because of your indifference.

if your partner just isn't as important as your work, your friends, or your leisure.. this person isn't the person for you cos the love isn't there.

when there's love, there's obsession. the need to see each other all the time, the need for connection all the time..

but if.. such a need doesn't exist (e.g. not meeting is fine..no contact is fine..), then this relationship won't last.

its a guarantee that it will end cos a relationship requires both parties' efforts.

with one party, its bound to end, sooner or later.

heed my warning people.

if you enjoy being loved, then learn to love too. always treat others the way you want to be treated.

remember that.

2009-07-24T21:35:00.007+08:00

and so..

today was my last day at work..

i tot i would tear but i did not.. maybe that's cos monday i still need to terp (interpret) in court..

but the past week was sad.. with every announcement given (about my leaving), people were sad and i felt even worse knowing that i was the reason for their sadness..

but like what my boss say, they should be happy for me as i am moving on to a greener path..

well.. sighs.

the new interpreter has started work this week and i had did all the necessary handover..

cleared my drawers and ended up with 4 big bags of stuff.. today another 2 bags..

but still, my table is full of stuff.. i never remove the pin ups, neither did i clear the stationery..

but i took everything that is personal to me:

all these that used to be hanged at my desk, now all in a big bubble envelope..

and oh my clock where i listened to class 95 everyday.. =)

the stuff were all pinned up behind the PC as u can see from this pic.. and my clock on top of the CPU.. =)

still, the desk look full.. i guess its cos i never remove the calendar, and files and well, all other information that are pinned up..

well.. maybe deep inside my heart, i am hoping that this isnt true.. that maybe i am staying, but i am not..

had a talk with my ando.. was nice.. my last talk with him in his office.. =)

received gifts from interpreter subcommittee members and colleagues:

i especially like what is being written here:

you can always count on true friends.

they help you weather every storm, they cheer you up when you are down, and they chide you when you are wrong.

sometimes you get so preoccupied with life's mundane troubles that you do not find the timeto tell your friends how much they mean to you.

if you have not already expressed yourself, do so now.

such moments seal the bond of friendship forever.

and i realised that's me, too busy with life's mundane troubles.. and i hereby apologise for it..

i still love you, my friends.. those i trust completely, those i don meet as often but still miss, those that are so far away from me that internet is the only way of communication..

i love you all. =)

now that i am sitting here, i am still trying to convince myself that this is the end (leaving of the job)..

and i realised, it has been an interesting year from 2008 to 2009..

i lost a r/s i thought i would never lose..
i got a job i never tot that i would be in..
i lost friends i tot are for life..
i gained new friends that i never tot i would have.. from work and outside..
i have put myself in confusion in things and situations i tot i would never landed up in..
i got enlightened in conversations i tot was superficial..

its really interesting to me.. alot of changes.. changes i never tot of..

i never expect my life to become roller coaster..

if more than a year ago, u were to ask me, how will my life be in a year's time, i would have said, got engaged, applying for flat and getting married..

maybe a stable job in the government sector or hospital..

that's it.

being an interpreter, involved in Deaf community, being single again, losing old friends and gaining new ones? not a chance!

but i did..

and to tell the truth, i am glad for the changes.. it made me a clearer person.. =)

not necessarily a happier person, but i learnt to be more independent..

all in all, i hope this change (change of job) will be beneficial..

i forsee a busier me but maybe, a more satisified me too..

which is good.

i hope for you, the reader, will become a more satisfied person in the coming year and treasure your friends, those who are really true to you are hard to come by.

once lost, it's forever..........................

2009-07-22T14:35:00.000+08:00

finally, i bought a new belly ring! :D

So excited!

Past by a shop at Bugis Village the other day and went to browse the belly rings..

Those who didn't know, i had my navel piercing in March last year..

and it took more than half a year to completely heal.. i actually thought it would never heal..

(by the way, it really doesn't hurt! not a feel! maybe cos there's no nerves there..but in any case, if you have been contemplating on having one, go ahead! i can recommend the shop to you!)

So this is the first belly ring i have.. its purple..

after it healed, i have been trying to get a new belly ring.. but had no idea which one to get.. those that are colorful are way too expensive (more than 100bucks!) and those that are cheap don't look nice..

until i came to this shop..

their rings are really nice and cheap! only 28bucks! haha.. i expected like 50-60bucks..

and so, i got 3 designs to choose:

2 heart-shaped dangling on top and bottom..
a turtle with movable body..
and a dangling scorpion..

i liked all 3 but the one that caught my eye was the scorpion..

but i was told that it looked a bit too extreme.. too fierce to be exact..

and i started to have 2nd thoughts..

was planning to choose between the 1st n 2nd when the salesgirl said,

"xiao mei (little sister), don't change your image or style, cos that's who you really are and that's what that attracts people.."

it does sound like compliment and i do accept it as compliment..

but that also means i should not try to have a sweet or cute image cos that's not me.. =.=

(the heart shaped belly ring is sweet and the turtle, well, cute.. lol)

told some of my friends this and they laughed, saying,
"you are ah lian outlook, can never change lah!"
(oh, some were nicer, they jus tried not to laugh out loud)

=.=

i am NOT ah lian ok? arghhhhh..

well, i chose the scorpion eventually, since that's MORE me..

though i am still gonna insist that i am NOT ah lian~~~

in any case, i love my belly ring alot! :D

2009-07-05T22:05:00.003+08:00

ok.. i think its time to announce this:

i am leaving my current job.

and no, i am not happy at all.. i don't want to leave.. =(

but then, reality sucks.

(no, i am not SACKED, i RESIGN. =.=)

between passion and reality..

a choice need to be made, and so, reality sucks.

due to some personal reasons, i have decided to leave the workplace that i love, the job that i grew to love so much and the people i will miss..

despite the

heavy workload,
crazy schedules,
politics (which is present in every company) ,
irritating people (which again, present everywhere),
me always not getting enough zzz,
aching wrists and shoulders after full days of interpreting,
the outbreak i get for being so stressed at work,
the crying i had,
and the tempers i had thrown during work and meetings..

i still find this the best job i ever had..

i really love this job to the max.. but.. =(

alot of my friends are actually happy that i am moving on to a "better" job..

cos they always complain that i have no time for them (that includes my family)..

and i always look so tired..

i know i should be happy, since i will have more time for my loved ones.. to catch up with my friends, to have enough rest etc.. but i am not.

i am actually very sad to leave..

my bosses have been persuading me to stay but i can't..

i have my difficulties.. (they understood and i am grateful for that)

this is a bad time to leave, with alot of events coming up and projects.. my overseas business trips etc..

sighs.

i will still volunteer there though, still a member of interpreter's sub-committee, still gonna interpret for them if time allows.

this is the only way for me to stay connected and not to lose my skills..

one more month and i will be leaving.. =(

a new job awaits me in August.. how will it be, i have no idea.

keeping my fingers crossed that everything will go just fine..

2009-07-03T09:34:00.010+08:00

after the 1st sorry, you hope.

after the 3th sorry, you still hope.

after the 5th sorry, you start to lose hope.

after the 20th sorry, you learn not to hope.

after the 40th sorry, you learn to expect it will happen again.

after the 50th sorry, you don't learn, you know it will happen again.

words aren't cheap, they are free cos they mean nothing.

2009-07-02T12:07:00.008+08:00

Working as an interpreter means i am on 24/7 standby and my schedule packed a month before and this was my schedule in July (which was fixed in June or earlier):

then the swine flu hit us..

and today, swine flu has spread quite a bit, and fear grows as schools reopen with students coming back from overseas trips and stuff..

and so, i received cancellation of assignments for "mass gathering setting" such as training, courses, seminars etc..

and this is what my schedule looks like after 10mins:

from this to that:

suddenly, i become very free.. when i was supposed to be busy every weekend and most weekdays and weeknights..

one swine flu and my whole month lifestyle changed: from a workaholic with no time for even herself to a slacker with too much time on hand.

amazing.

2009-06-30T12:31:00.002+08:00

just did this quiz in fb, very accurate! scary!

Angela took the quiz Tarot Card Reading and the result is Four of Swords
Briefly: It is time to take a rest, have a break, maybe have a holiday or in some other way remove yourself from current pressures.

Full Meaning: You may be run-down, tired, and now it is time to be a little contemplative and to take it easy for awhile. The daily routine has become too demanding or even mundane and you need a change, any change will do. If you have been feeling unwell, it may be time to consult a doctor, a surgeon or even a dentist. Often it can indicate needing an injection, or cutting implements may be needed, as in surgery of some kind, or medications. This is a good time to start looking after yourself, and protecting yourself against such things as getting an infection or fever. Antibiotics may be needed or a tonic or some vitamins. Some people just need to get more sleep or rest.

i tot it was just some kind of random quiz, then when the result was out, i was shocked.. really..

with everything that's happening to me the past few months, this tarot card says everything..

reaching my limit..

body giving signal that it can't hold on any longer..

its time to take a break.. real break..

2009-06-29T09:53:00.004+08:00

Credits to:

Chubby people live longest: Japan study

TOKYO (AFP) - - Health experts have long warned of the risk of obesity, but a new Japanese study warns that being very skinny is even more dangerous, and that slightly chubby people live longer.

People who are a little overweight at age 40 live six to seven years longer than very thin people, whose average life expectancy was shorter by some five years than that of obese people, the study found.

"We found skinny people run the highest risk," said Shinichi Kuriyama, an associate professor at Tohoku University's Graduate School of Medicine who worked on the long-term study of middle-aged and elderly people.

"We had expected thin people would show the shortest life expectancy but didn't expect the difference to be this large," he told AFP by telephone.

The study was conducted by a health ministry team led by Tohoku University professor Ichiro Tsuji and covered 50,000 people between the ages of 40 and 79 over 12 years in the northern Japanese prefecture of Miyagi.

"There had been an argument that thin people's lives are short because many of them are sick or smoke. But the difference was almost unchanged even when we eliminated these factors," Kuriyama said.

Main reasons for the shorter lifespans of skinny people were believed to include their heightened vulnerability to diseases such as pneumonia and the fragility of their blood vessels, he said.

But Kuriyama warned he was not recommending people eat as much as they want.

"It's better that thin people try to gain normal weight, but we doubt it's good for people of normal physique to put on more fat," he said.

The study divided people into four weight classes at age 40 according to their body mass index, or BMI, calculated by dividing a person's weight in kilograms by their squared height in metres.

The normal range is 18.5 to 25, with thinness defined as under 18.5. A BMI of 25 to 30 was classed as slightly overweight and an index above 30 as obese.

so skinny people, stop being tweety birds!! Health is more important! Don't diet anymore~

2009-06-28T02:41:00.001+08:00

'i love you' isn't enough to sustain a relationship..

when will humans understand that?

2009-06-26T15:40:00.001+08:00

and so.. decision is made.. and its time for me to stick to what i have decided..

2009-06-22T00:58:00.001+08:00

twins are cool~!

and i am proud to be one of them! xD

2009-06-18T22:53:00.003+08:00

i just realised that my most happening time was in May, when my cousin was in Singapore..

damn! now my work life is taking over all my other lives!

argh!!!

i want to go holiday!

2009-06-15T21:32:00.003+08:00

and so.. i went for dinner with mum last night.. and this was the conversation..

mum: there's a new rumor in our family..

me: oh? what is it about?

mum: you are getting married..

me: HUH???

mum: yea.. your granny just created a new rumor..

*me still in shock*

mum: your granny told the relatives that you are getting married and said i was the one who told her..

me: what the....? wahahahaha! so what did you say?

mum: and so.. i reached and told your granny that i didn't say that.. i didn't even go over to her place the week before!

me: and?

mum: she insisted that i did and i told her, "if my daughter is getting married, how come i didn't know?" *shakes head*

me: yea, i didn't know that i am getting married either! LOL! xD

lol.. what a cute granny i have..

2009-06-13T21:36:00.002+08:00

sometimes, don't you feel that it's scary in this world?

the people that you know?

to realize that the person that you thought was okay was actually not okay?

that the person you always thought was a nice guy turns out to be an asshole?

or maybe he was an asshole since the start but you thought he wasn't that bad.. which in the end, you realized you were wrong, he is a pure breed asshole..

these days, i have seen a lot of people whom i thought was okay but actually weren't and i wonder..

am i getting bad in my judgment or has time changed them?

do they change cos of external factors or is such character inbuilt in them which they didn't know? this dark side of them which were not lured out till now?

i really do not know..

i just find it disgusting that such people actually exist..

what they say isn't what they do.. and what they do never match up with what they say to anyone..

they say things that aren't true, they do things that hurt people.. they build their happiness upon others' miseries..

why do they do that?

cos they do not know the proper way to being happy?

or are they just wimps who have no courage to be truthful to themselves and others?

(i personally think it's the latter.. and of cos, ego.. *rolleyes*)

change is the only constant and apparently, for some people, the change can never be good..

so now, its time to learn that some people are born bad..

no such thing as everyone is born good angela.. be smarter.

2009-06-08T23:30:00.004+08:00

for those who has been reading my blog these days should have listened to this song on my playlist: Lenka - The Show..

the melody is catchy but what captures my attention is the lyrics, esp the chorus..

The Show
Lenka

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

i especially like the sentence: life is a maze and love is a riddle.. how true..

and we can't do it alone.. in life, there's many things that we do not and will not know until we try.. just like a maze, we need to try, to know if that's the correct way out.. the right way for us..

and love being described as a riddle? that's spot on! this love thing, is hard to decipher.. you just cant figure it out at times..or rather, u thought you had it figured out only to find out you are as lost as you were in the beginning..

and for all you know, you may be lost for life..

so the question is, is being lost good or bad for your case?

2009-05-31T04:38:00.005+08:00

Tao Bu Guo - Aaron Kwok

逃不过
郭富城

作曲：谢继麟填词：谢继麟编曲：王继康

告诉我　你在乎我
未来岁月要陪我渡过
每一天　每一夜
温习着我给你的承诺
不知道　为什么
你是我字典里的快乐
这一生　这一世
我的心给你套上了锁
oh 逃不过　baby 逃不过
无法抗拒的结果
oh 逃不过　baby I'm yours
cos I'm falling
I'm falling for you

逃不过你和我宿命的约定
虽然我们曾经不相信爱情
但有谁能够背叛自己的心灵
oh 逃不过　baby 逃不过
无法抗拒的结果
oh 逃不过　baby I'm yours
cos I'm falling
I'm falling for you

=)

2009-05-19T09:51:00.006+08:00

ok, i know i was supposed to blog about my cousin's trip to Singapore in early May but I didn't have the photos until now (he uploaded on fb).. so yup.. i can blog about it..

more photos rather than words i guess.. i am too lazy to write too much.. =X

basically, my cousin is a Canadian and he came to Singapore for holiday before he flies to Tokyo which is the main destination.. lol..

i remembered 4 years ago when he came, i only got to see him for 1 or 2 days and i flew to Australia for studies.. this time, its my sis who had to fly overseas for work while he was here.. like he had said, he never got a chance to enjoy his trip with BOTH of us (my sis n I).. lol..

i wasn't free on the 1st day and thus, my sis and mum accompanied him to walk around Singapore, Orchard Road to be exact and he loved it.. haha.. quite a shopaholic i guess..

and so.. the 2nd day, we went to PS and and Singapore Flyer.. where else did we go? oh! we went to the president's residence (whatever its called) and walked a darn long time to reach his actual house and a long way out too..

my cousin was complaining about the heat in Singapore.. oh well, he came here at the wrong time, Singapore is at her hottest during mid year from late march to perhaps late may.. haha.. even i cant stand the heat, more ever him, a guy who live in a country where winter can go down to -40 degree celcius!

on the 3rd day, i had prepared a wild night for him.. clubbing.. he told me the last time he came, he was wasted.. and he was determined not to repeat this time cos he didn't want to waste all the time with the pretty ladies like he did 4 years back! lol

but its hard, especially when my best friend is around.. there's never short of alcohol with her around! xD

we intended to go to DBL O as well but we got carried away at O Bar with all the booze and music and fun and well, everything!

one word, crazy! thats all i can say! =)

the next day (Sunday) was the day my sis flew to BKK for her work and with a mere 2-3 hours of zzz, i went to the airport to send her off and went for my sign language class with my brain still left at home..

after that, i KO and zzz till late.. until mum called and asked if i wanted to meet them at harbourfront (which of cos, i said i try and i KO again).. mum wasnt very happy about that but what can i do? i am old! x(

rented a car on monday and drove my cousin around Singapore (after dinner).. we went to Punggol End and Changi Village.. Went to east coast to look at the dark spots where couples love to go and make love.. haha.. but my cousin was really down on luck, the road was closed and so, nothing to see..

Changi Village was as usual, filled with trans waiting for business and my cousin actually tot they were girls! wouldnt it be fun if i let him get off the car?? but he refused upon hearing the truth.. wasted! =P

by the time we finished changi village, i was dead tired.. drove the rest home and KO again.. took off on Tuesday and brought my cousin to Sentosa since he mentioned he had never been to Sentosa after the first time he came 8 years ago!

thats bloody long ago! so many has changed!

and so, we went to Sentosa and walked along the beaches which he enjoyed cos in his hometown, he has to drive for at least an hour before he can reach a beach.. but even so, it may be too cold to enjoy.. sucks.

brought him to Cafe Del Mar and he was ecstatic! apparently, he prefers house and trance to RnB when clubbing cos the latter doesn't really get him to dance like the first two do.. oh well.. promised to bring him to club here the next time he comes.. if i still have the energy (i'm alr 26 this year!)..

and that night, we went to Chervons KTV and well, did alot of stupid but fun stuff, with loads of videos (on fb).. lol..

there's alot of photos uploaded by my cousin, but all on fb.. so u can view them on fb (if u have my fb).. :D

so yup.. that's about it.. for now.. lol

2009-05-18T00:58:00.001+08:00

Personality Test
accurate to me.. =)

Your answers suggest you are an Innovator

The four aspects that make up this personality type are:

Summary of Innovators

Energetic and creative taking inspiration from everyone they meet
Enjoy flexible work environments with few rules and many opportunities for fun
Think of themselves as imaginative, sociable and sympathetic
May not think logically about their ideas

More about Innovators

Innovators are fun-loving, creative, sensitive people who enjoy developing their ideas by discussing them with others. This group supports the people around them and expects the same in return. Others are drawn to Innovators because of their love of life, caring nature and openness.

Innovators are most likely to say they do their best work when they start at the last minute, according to a UK survey.

Innovators are good at spotting opportunities and recognizing potential in people. Innovators put all their energy into new projects and their enthusiasm motivates others to support their plans.

In situations where they can’t use their talents or are unappreciated, Innovators may become rebellious and unfocused. Under extreme stress, Innovators may become preoccupied with meaningless details.

Innovators may over-extend themselves or put a night out with friends ahead of more pressing commitments.

Innovator Careers

Innovators are drawn to careers that require teaching or counselling, where they can work with and help encourage the development of others.

It's important to remember that no survey can predict personality type with 100 percent accuracy. Experts say that we should use personality type to better understand ourselves and others, but shouldn't feel restricted by our results.

2009-05-12T11:18:00.002+08:00

did a test about my blood type on fb and:

Your blood type is O and it explain that you are ...

Basic behavior :

Cannot stand people who hide the truth
Make objectives clear
Possess great deal of confidence
Honest, optimistic and energetic

Tolerance :

Strength and endurance depend on their aim
Give up easily if they find the job meaningless

How do you see your future and past ?

Positive about the past, thus do not regret about the past
Seek financial stability for the future

How do you express your emotions ?

Usually stable and calm
Sensitive towards sincerity
Give frank, direct opinions

its very true.. ALL true. i am impressed.

2009-05-10T22:22:00.004+08:00

found this on you tube:

it was titled "Bolivia Bug" and that got me curious, so I went to Wiki it and found that it was a bug, a larva actually of a moth which I find it disgusting:

Credits to Wikipedia

Megalopyge opercularis

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Megalopyge opercularis

Scientific classification

Kingdom: Animalia

Phylum: Arthropoda

Class: Insecta

Order: Lepidoptera

Family: Megalopygidae

Genus: Megalopyge

Species: M. opercularis

Binomial name

Megalopyge opercularis
(JE Smith, 1797)

The moth Megalopyge opercularis has numerous common names, including southern flannel moth, pussy moth, puss caterpillar, and, asp caterpillar. It is visually striking in both larval and adult forms. The inch-long larva is generously coated in long, luxuriant hair-like setae, making it resemble a tiny Persian cat, the characteristic that presumably gave it the name "puss." It is variable in color, from downy grayish-white to golden-brown to dark charcoal gray. It often has a streak of bright orange running longitudinally. The 'fur' on early-stage larvae is sometimes extremely curly, giving the larva a cottony, puffed-up look. The body tapers to a tail that extends well beyond the body, unlike its relative M. crispata (Wagner 2005). The middle instar has a more dishevelled, 'bad-hair-day' appearance, without a distinctive tail.

Caterpillar

The adult moth is also very bizarre in appearance, covered in long fur in colors ranging from dull orange to lemon yellow, with hairy legs and fuzzy black feet. Ironically, the resemblance of the larvae to soft, colorful cotton balls encourages people to pick them up and pet them.

The 'fur' of the larva contains venomous spines that cause extremely painful reactions in human skin upon contact. The reactions are sometimes localized to the affected area but are often very severe, radiating up a limb and causing burning, swelling, nausea, headache, abdominal distress, rashes, blisters, and sometimes chest pain, numbness, or difficulty breathing (Eagleman 2008). Additionally, it is not unusual to find sweating from the welts or hives at the site of the sting.
M. opercularis can be found on oaks, elms, citrus and other trees, and many garden plants such as roses and ivy. It is distributed throughout the southern United States, Mexico, and parts of Central America. The larva does not spin a real cocoon, rather, it separates from its furry skin and uses it as a protective covering while it pupate

so anything cute and pretty is actually dangerous.. be careful, don judge by the cover..

2009-04-29T11:47:00.003+08:00

i was having my sunday sign language class when i saw this..

very interesting..

know what this is?

it is a banana guard! lol

and i mean, the real banana, the FRUIT. lol.

this is to put banana and prevent it from being squashed in the bag..

isn't it amazing??

lol

i should get one cos i love bananas (whichever kind u can think of) =P

and oh, i was told that that you shouldn't jog before you have sex and definitely, don't be LAZY and try to flip over to change position (from one side of ur partner to the other side in bed) cos..

you will get cramps for the former and you will sprain your waist from the latter..

tested and proven (not by me of cos!)!!

and oh, the cramps apparently can create a new sex position when one leg is straightened while the other is still bended..

this applies only for guys (for the above position).. =P

side note: i tried searching karmasutra and see if there's such a position but i gave up halfway, there's too many for me to search! x(

2009-04-23T12:18:00.002+08:00

是別人不夠了解你, 還是你不夠了解你自己?

是你不想理睬別人, 還是別人不想理睬你?

你知道的是真實, 還是這都是你自己編出來的謊言呢?

2009-04-23T00:20:00.002+08:00

---------------------------------
sometimes, when you don't ask questions,
it's not because you are afraid that someone will lie into your face.
its because you're afraid they will tell you the truth.
---------------------------------

how true..

not all people can handle the truth..

some people prefers staying in their own world of denial and if you burst that bubble of theirs, you are the sinner and they will hate you for it..

after all, they have been protected for so long by their friends and family..

who are you to slap them into the harsh reality?

that what they see isn't the truth? or rather, what they had assumed for so long was a false front?

and so you wonder, as a true friend, should you tell the truth even if it hurts or should you protect and paint a false picture to them?

which is the way of a real true friend who cares?

former or latter?

your choice to choose and theirs to accept or reject.

2009-04-21T15:03:00.004+08:00

had an interesting conversation earlier due to what i wrote on my msn sub nick

it wrote:

How we think shows through in how we act. Attitudes are mirrors of the mind. They reflect thinking.

and a friend replied to that..

XXX says (2:14 PM):
maybe attitudes r the exact opposites of the thinking of the mind
Me says (2:18 PM):
it may.. but subconsciously, it shows. it always do.
XXX says (2:19 PM):
but nowadays ppl r crafty.. they dun show wat they do or how they express themselves if they think likewise
Me says (2:20 PM):
haha
Me says (2:22 PM):
i think its a competition between the ability to perceive one's true intention and to hide own's real feelings
XXX says (2:24 PM):
i think its the situation and people ard u. im sure if u think back when u r in oz studying, u can do things n speak more freely, the culture is so diff. here we hide things, get confused and sometimes will try to dig back the same feeling lost in ourselves..
XXX says (2:25 PM):
we cant express ourselves. we feel sad and regretful. but the days just pass. another new feeling arrived, we'll still be finding back that same feeling we lost.
XXX says (2:27 PM):
then psychopaths are borned, this rape that, control freaks, emo freaks, do all sorts of strange things to get back to ppl, this is just so weird n twisted. -censored for privacy-
Me says (2:32 PM):
i think that is very impt for everyone to have an outlet where they can vent their frustration.. its not good to stomach all in.. people didn't learn or rather, is ignorant about their own feelings n in turn, become all the above u have mentioned..
XXX says (2:34 PM):
hmm but if we dun have frustration and anger to start with it will be good right? we dun need to seek outlets anymore just more time pursuing happiness
Me says (2:36 PM):
but thats impossible.. its programmed when humans are created.. welcome to RL.. lol

there's a point there.. as the world evolves, more n more weird human beings are created.. with the lack of knowledge of where to let out their emotions, they turn psycho.. *shrugs*

maybe we are all capable of being such .. but we are controlling it.. trying not to lose it..

or maybe, those people are happier than we are.. who knows?

well.. it was just a random conversation, interesting but random..

i like random stuff & adores it when its interesting AND random.. haha

2009-04-21T11:11:00.001+08:00

老闆們,請看!!

我們夥計的心聲!!

2009-04-17T09:59:00.003+08:00

Credits to: Redeafination

VSA - Welcome To My World 2009

Redeafination will be performing at Welcome To My World 2009 - A Concert by People with Disabilities, organized by Very Special Arts Singapore

We will be restaging our collaboration dance item together with the Legend dancers as well presenting a fresh debut item that incorporates song signing (sign language) with dance.

Do come show support for us and all the other special needs groups involved

Venue: Victoria Theatre
Date: 19 April Sunday
Time: 5 pm

For event & ticketing info please visit:
http://theartshouse.com.sg/event_details_2009.php?id=949

This concert serves as a platform to showcase the best in performing arts by people with disabilities. It is regarded as the national concert by people with disabilities and helps to promote the belief that art is for all, including people with disabilities.

For more info about this event:
http://theartshouse.com.sg/event_details_2009.php?id=949

===========================================

VSA arts is an international, non-profit organisation founded in 1974 by Ambassador Jean Kennedy Smith to create a society where people with disabilities can learn through, participate in and enjoy the arts.

Very Special Arts Singapore (VSA) is a charity launched in September 1993 with the mission to provide individuals with disabilities he opportunities to access the arts for the purposes of rehabilitation and social integration.

For more info about VSA:
http://www.vsa.org.sg

__ıмреяŦecтıy реяŦecт

tale spinners

stalkers

working

love + marriage

我知道妳很好，但是妳可以不必那麼偉大

Angela あやか 哇! 很準耶!

Your answers suggest you are an Innovator

Summary of Innovators

More about Innovators

Innovator Careers

Megalopyge opercularis

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

VSA - Welcome To My World 2009

Angela あやか哇! 很準耶!